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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..549550551552553554555..559Next> |
#8245 (55/242) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
cabbagehead227: so I came out of the closet today
cabbagehead227: I was looking for my bowling ball, but all I found was a bunch of queers |
#15163 (55/207) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
*** WiLD`stripped is now known as WiLD2`dummphuck
<Swarthy_Foreskin> wild, how was the stripping
<WiLD2`dummphuck> didn't get to it
<WiLD2`dummphuck> Nicole called
<Swarthy_Foreskin> bah
<Swarthy_Foreskin> damn women
<Swarthy_Foreskin> keep getting in the way of you getting your pants off
<Catalyst88> and theirs
<Swarthy_Foreskin> yeah |
#32076 (55/243) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Drav> where the hell can a well-intended, modest, christian fellow go to get a handjob around here?
<ktrout> look no further than the end of your arm
<CoverSlide> Drav: are you under 12?
<CoverSlide> because you could become catholic |
#42576 (55/161) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<+vacuumo> I get nickalerted when people say anything containing 'vac'
<+Svip> I like vacpie.
<+Moto> I vacuumed my house today
<Goodfella> ass vac
<+Moto> Hey, have any of your steam accounts got vac'd yet?
<+EmSixTeen> Shake n' Vac
<&Segosa> vaca = cow in spanish.
<+Steven> packer vac
<+Rotten> i wanna go on vacation soon \:
<Goodfella> I got vac shit
<+Svip> You just had to say it, vacuumo? |
#1107 (55/237) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
* MadHatter is back from: Rebooting!
<^enex^> do you feel refreshed |
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#11607 (55/219) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<@daedreem> and he was sooo sweet...
<ShockSMX> i think it would be more romantic if some guys pushed you off a cliff and he saved your life by jumping after you with a parachute.
<situationist> we'll have to make do with what we got |
#16773 (54/286) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<loser> http://www.goatse.cx
<loser> hahaha lol lol lol
<loser> you looked didn't you? HAHAHAHA
<bane> who gave you your name? your mom?
<bane> whoeva gave it to you, congratulate them for me will you?
<bane> it's appropiate |
#307592 (60/76) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<flotwig> non-computer people ask what you like to do
<flotwig> just say "oh, i'm in the php scene"
<flotwig> they'll think you're doing drugs or some shit
<arpad> "poor guy, he can't even spell pcp" |
#56732 (54/260) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Throgan> Oh, speaking of Monty Python, I think Terry Gilliam is doing some thing on PBS about the number 1.
<cookiemonster> Leave it to Monty Python to make an entire show about piss. |
#5022 (55/221) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<theo-> ADSL.....is that some sort of learning difficulty? |
#13732 (55/235) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<[-FeC-]sKratch> PENISES
<[-FeC-]sKratch> random penis, sorry
<Kwyjimbo> i understand
<Kwyjimbo> i once did that while giving a speech in class...
<Kwyjimbo> i never did do to good in that class after that |
#38820 (56/128) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<+cwd> in my server here since there are lots of HDs and fans, all the vibrations in the case are causing power connectors to slip just enough to power off the drive
<+cwd> so every 2-3 days i have to open it and readjust
<+cwd> its pretty fucking gay
< war-> cwd do you have a gf?
<+cwd> of course not |
#304804* (?/77) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<snark> a man walks into an irc channel
<snark> wait no, he connects to an irc channel
<snark> you cannot physically enter an irc channel
<snark> anyway, so this guy, once he has entered the channel
<snark> hang on did I mention he was hispanic?
<snark> That detail will be important later
<xiaou> no
<snark> it's actually an important part of the punchline in a way
<snark> if you're familiar with hispanic stereotypes
<snark> anyway, where was I
<drazak> snark: actually his irc client connects
<snark> drazak: oh, right, thanks. So this guy who is hispanic has just had his irc client connect to a server, and joined a channel
<snark> I forget the name of the channle but I don't think it ended up being important
<snark> maybe it will come back to me later
<snark> anyway it's a channel in which there are a lot of rednecks, even though that's fairly unusual on the internet in my experience
<snark> I don't know if such a channel actually exists or if it was invented entirely for the purpose of this joke
<snark> I wasn't there, someone else told me it, you see
<snark> so anyway once he has entered this channel, or rather joined it, he orders a beer
<snark> or, wait
<snark> maybe it wasn't an irc channel at all
<snark> was it a biker bar? It might have been a biker bar
<snark> I think I am trying to tell a joke about a hispanic man entering a biker bar probably
<cuddlefish> snark: give up already
<snark> well the thing is though this is where it gets funny
<snark> because the hispanic guy interacts with the bikers in a humourous way
<snark> he might have been mexican. Anyway, the joke ends when one of them says something quite succinct and funny.
<snark> it's a good joke
<DaMullet> snark: Allegedly
<DarkLoad> snark: you should tell it sometime
<snark> I probably should |
#14250 (55/238) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
* <r0b3r> sighs and ponders what to do now....
* <Lynda> ponders, "draw something?"
<r0b3r> Tried that already. Can't think of anything to draw, really.
<Lynda> draw... a couple, resting in bed together.
* <r0b3r> blinks at what Lynda says....
<r0b3r> No. I don't draw that, thank you ery much.
<Lynda> I wasn't suggesting anything ecchi.
<Lynda> I take it you've never had a really serious relationship.
<r0b3r> I have one with someone right now, actually.
<r0b3r> Just it's an odd relationship considering my character is human
and she is an alien... |
#44718 (55/189) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<spongebill> it's a vicious circle... I have qdb open in my browser, can't stop reading random quotes, then I remember to turn back to IRC, see that somebody posted a link, it opens in a new tab, I look at it, close the tab and there I am, back at qdb |
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Open call for science fiction prose/art
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#22703 (55/219) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<uSa-> does anyone know of something similar to PHPnuke, but not as complex?
<[bn]ennoia> Check the toilet, next time you use it.
<[bn]ennoia> that's pretty similar. |
#21940 (55/225) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
[krys] mmm salad
[hoho] salad is what food eats
[krys] then i guess im food
[krys] soooo EAT ME BITCH |
#33213 (55/217) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
*** Signoff: disp (Killed (NickServ (Ghost: disposal!disp@syru229-149.syr.edu)))
*** disp (disp@syru229-149.syr.edu) has joined channel #fark
<disp> i am fucking stupid
<disp> from my experience
<goatasaur> took you long enough
<disp> it was on auto reconnect
<disp> i did it manually
<disp> while it was reconnecting
<disp> and then i sat on the server
<disp> thinking i was in the channel
<goatasaur> no, i mean it took you long enough to figure out you're fucking stupidComment: #fark on irvingnet.net
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#235987 (55/127) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<ousti> I'm yelling at you in Korean right now, but you can't hear me!
<Raiden> Are you going "kekekekekeke Zerg rush ^________^" |
#46041 (56/130) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Lord_Iryn> I once drove a golf cart into a lake
<Aerdan> o.o
<Joan> LMAO
<Lord_Iryn> Honestly, How was I supposed to not drive into the lake while getting into a fist fight with my brother
<Lord_Iryn> I just realised something, there is something seriously wrong with my family
<Lord_Iryn> Seriously he was like punching me in the back of the head and I kept saying, "you mess with the driver, bad shit happens." then I was all like, thats it, and punched him in the gut a couple times
<Lord_Iryn> then like a few seconds later, SPLAHS!
<Lord_Iryn> SPLASH!*
<Aerdan> haha
<Lord_Iryn> I see now, my whole childhood was like one giant episode of Jackass |
#2021 (55/239) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<darkaeon> now how much money do you make now?
<darkaeon> I know it can't be much since you're on irc
<darkaeon> eheh
<MadHatter> you fear my fucking lego skills right
<MadHatter> dude dark
<MadHatter> I'm not even on irc
<MadHatter> I programmed some legos to get on irc for me |
#7917 (55/212) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Zaph23> I wanna go to one of those h00ker golf tourneys
<Zaph23> I can't play for crap but who cares
<DJ_Dave> heh
<DJ_Dave> gotta pay extra to play that hole |
#40183 (55/201) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<SpencerW> anyone not so cranky want to help with an experiment?
<+AndySoft> How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
<SpencerW> 3
<SpencerW> well
<+AndySoft> I didn't ask Mr. Owl.
<SpencerW> the limit of function (tootsie pop) as it approaches (finish) is 3
<@mokomull> No ... the limit of licks(tootsie pops) as (tootsie pops) approaches 1 is 3 :)Comment: Ask a stupid question in a calculator/math geek channel, get a stupid answer...
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#7942 (56/292) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
(Boobs4L): i am not racist, i own a color TV |
#20749 (56/302) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
xenophile: been awhile since i've done a mailman
xenophile: DO NOT PUT THAT ON BASH>ORG!!@@!!@ |
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