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AllBestWeekMonthRandom<Prev1..116117118119120121122..356Next> |
#304536* (?/42) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<[GT]Gohan> i wonder how many relationships will be destroyed by call of duty this weekend |
#304535* (?/54) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<MiSFiT> wouldn't it be great if terrorists were on facebook?
<MiSFiT> Mohammed has become a fan of Abu Hamza
<@NoX> Facebook: Mohammed Abiim is now about to high jack an aeroplane
<@NoX> Al'Queda likes this
<@Polynomial> The Taliban posted on your wall: THIS REALLY WORKS! Put a bomb in 6 local schools and attach a strip of paper with the name of your true love on it to each. Make them go off at 9am and your true love will kiss you before midnight! |
#304534* (?/39) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
< DemonicGOD> man you people are getting so stupid i swear so easy to manipulate so pathetic
< root> !kill DemonicGOD man you are getting so stupid i swear so easy to kill you off
-!- DemonicGOD has quit [OperServ (man you are getting so stupid i swear so easy to kill you off (Requested by root))]
-!- DemonicGOD has joined
< DemonicGOD> rofl wow chrome doin this to me again |
#304533* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
Boobs. They make life awesomer, and on some "Occasions," make things "Hard."Comment: Lydia.P
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#304532* (?/18) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<@Eltu> Back in an hour or so
<@Eltu> Need to buy coke
<@HNM|uni> lol.
<@Eltu> ...that sounded wrong.
* @HNM|uni pokes Eltu with 'coke'
<@Eltu> COCA-COLA |
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#304531* (?/50) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<@Fizzix> go away fedex I'm not wearing pants. |
#304530* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
< Hawky> hopefully there is a starbucks near him.
<+Jacob_> flame- is female.
< Hawky> oh
< Hawky> didnt know that
<@flame-> there's no starbucks in the entire country
<+coppro> Hawky: do you make assumptions professionally?
< Hawky> coppro: depends
< Hawky> cause im not very good at it. |
#304529* (?/54) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<atari2600a> sending this right now
<atari2600a> Hello Dr. Nye & Dr. Hawking
<atari2600a> I am writing to tell you both that I have discovered a massive flaw in the Scientific Method. There is absolutely no approved method for testing the Scientific Method, thereby rendering it & all of your combined work unreliable. I am sure, through your combined efforts, you can resolve this great issue.
<atari2600a> Thank you for your timeComment: yes, I did
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#304528* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<cms13>I've met women online, but never …legitimately…
<cms13>just like..Canadians |
#304527* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
Many great ideas are conceived and never realized.Comment: Mine
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#304526* (?/47) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Bryan> I think somethings wrong with me
<Allie> What?
<Bryan> Well, two reasons.
<Bryan> 1. I just tried to lick my nipples.
<Bryan> And 2. I was disappointed that i couldn't. |
#304525* (?/50) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<DragoonWraith> I read an article today about a woman who had a brain worm...
<Fax> ._.
<DragoonWraith> it was a tapeworm
<DragoonWraith> in her brain
<Fax> in her BRAIN?
<DragoonWraith> yeah
<Vaynor> How does that even happen?
<Fax> o_O
<DragoonWraith> apparently you eat a tapeworm, it lays eggs, and the larvae can travel through the bloodstream
<DragoonWraith> the brain is apparently one of the most common places for them to end up
<DragoonWraith> apparently caused a wicked headache
<Fax> that is disturbing on a variety of levels
<Fax> did she name it Charles?
<Fax> She should've named it Charles
<DragoonWraith> well, when they found it, they killed it
<Fax> GET OUT OF MY HEAD CHARLES |
#304524* (?/56) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
Mike god loves everything, including people who rape and murder children, since he hasn't stopped making those folks just yet |
#304523* (?/38) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<FTW> __attribute__((constructor))
<FTW> if used in C, it would be a horrid horrid kludge.
<Pies> FTW: It's a GCC thing
<Pies> It's used for shared objects, when loaded it's supposed to run the constructor, then run the deconstructor when done.
<FTW> ya, I saw the gcc part.
<FTW> so why not just call an init() like done for 15 yrs?
<Pies> Because you can't always
<Pies> The person using the lib might forget to call the deconstructor.
<Pies> This removes the need for the person using the lib to make those calls and potentially eat up gobs of memory.
<FTW> ya, like I said... we've been doing 'init'
<FTW> and 'cleanup' calls in code for 15 yrs with shared libs,
<FTW> and api's.
<FTW> I don't see the need to fuck up C to do so.
<Pies> 1) It's not fucking up C "to do so", it's an extension, you do _not_ have to use it.
<Pies> 2) It means the person using your lib doesn't need to figgure out when to call the deconstructor, this is the important part.
<Pies> If they call abort() the deconstructor can be called and shit can be cleaned up nicely.
<oddballz194> Shit gets cleaned up nicely if you call toilet_flush(), too!
<oddballz194> Or is that flush(toilet)?
<Rolo> fflush(toilet)
<Dfg> someone got shell access to my toilet shell
<Dfg> that fucker is now randomly flushing it
<Dfg> HELP!
<Dfg> how to a restore or revert a toilet account.
<Dfg> The toilet is based on Fedora btw
<whodey> dumbass
<whodey> it's new Toilet().flush()
<Dfg> THAT'S THE FUNCTION!
<Dfg> My Toilet got hacked
<Dfg> anyway to restore it
<Dfg> should I set CHMOD 644 on my toilet seat FS
<Rolo> Yes you should
<Rolo> And quickly!
<Dfg> But if I do 777
<Rolo> Don't question me boy, 544
<Dfg> Okay I will try
<Rolo> It's one hundred less than 644, you're saving KB
<Dfg> DAMMIT
<Dfg> It's giving me an error
<Dfg> file in use something
<Dfg> SOMEONE IS USING MY TOILET!
<Dfg> wtf
<Dfg> damn hackers
<whodey> NEVER EVER EVER type the following
<whodey> cat /etc/toilet |
#304521* (?/22) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<marmar04> my life wont be complete til I make a boy maid cum into his own face |
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#304520* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
[Yao] i played squash with meranda yesterday, it's a lot of fun, unless she collapsed in the final minute....
[Me] LOL
[Yao] and i say hi to 911 again yesterday
[Me] LOLOL oh my gosh.
[Me] That's horrible
That's so bad yet so funny at the same time.
[Yao] revarr said like a magic, ppl around me will get involved into accidents
wow
[Me] that's what I thought...
[Me] three times in a period of 6 weeks.
[Me] That's a record.
[Me] Even old seniors don't call that much.
[Me] XD
[Me] Poor Yao...
[Me] Life must be an adventure for you.
[Me] :)
[Yao] do i make you laugh loudly? :)
[Me] Yes.
[Me] Very much so.
[Me] :)
[Yao] thanks, i finally can use my shabby english to express my sense of humor
[Me] Maybe we should get you a good luck charm...
Oh no, "and i say hi to 911 again yesterday" made me laugh so hard.
[Yao] yes
[Me] There's a point where one's English is good enough, but not articulate enough that humor is provoked even without the one speaking knowing they're saying something funny.
[Me] Kinda like the "uncanny valley" of robotics
[Me] It's the golden point for you.
[Me] :)
[Yao] ok ok i know
[Me] Keep talking, you're making me feel better. :p
[Yao] do you feel hard?
[Me] ONCE AGAIN.... XD
[Yao] what!!!!!!Comment: Facebook Chat
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#304519* (?/20) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
10 PRINT "HURP"
20 PRINT "DURP"
30 GOTO 10 |
#304518* (?/62) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<cookie> if you dispose of an IP address, does it end up in a LANfill?Comment: #batcave on Austnet
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#304517* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<ImTheRealHaze> exactly 315g my self made cheeseburger
<Slie> 454g woulda been better
<Slie> then you coulda called it a pounder of cheese
<ImTheRealHaze> hehe
<Slie> who the hell decided that 454 grams would be a pound?
<Slie> stupid yanks
<ImTheRealHaze> itz 500
<Slie> hmm odd
<Slie> it's actually 453.59
<Slie> i never new it was rounded up
<ImTheRealHaze> stupid
<Slie> thats even worse
<Slie> who the fuck made a pound 453.59 gramsComment: #Globalgamers
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#304515* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
* sonicrules1234 is a wizard and battles with ClaireBear
* ClaireBear casts up a huge meteor and chucks it at sonicrules1234
* sonicrules1234 teleports right next to ClaireBear
<BigPaul> :D time to pull out a chair and popcorn
<BigPaul> :D
* sonicrules1234 gives ClaireBear small pox
<sonicrules1234> Bwahaha
* ClaireBear casts a spell to be immune to smallpox and casts AIDS on sonicrules1234
* sonicrules1234 is immune to AIDS already, as he is not human
<ClaireBear> false D:
<nubbie> ....
* sonicrules1234 puts ClaireBear in a big Ice cube
<nubbie> go get some of kimmeh's blood
<nubbie> she has aids
<BigPaul> XD
* ClaireBear brews up a couldron of napalm and frees herself of the ice, then engulfing sonicrules1234 in flames
<ClaireBear> LOLGG
* sonicrules1234 makes the flames turn white, protecting himself. Then shoots the flames in a dense fireball at ClaireBear
* ClaireBear casts an invisible force shield around herself, making her invincible to all outside attacks. She then casts OVER 9000 lighting bolts at sonicrules1234
* sonicrules1234 absorbs the energy from the lightning bolts, and fries the force shield because its not a force field
<sonicrules1234> :p
* ClaireBear picks up a rock and chucks it at sonicrules1234
<sonicrules1234> LOL
* sonicrules1234 hits ClaireBear with a big stick
<BigPaul> this is epic
* ClaireBear breaks the stick in half and grabs a sammich, luring sonicrules1234 over a bridge of molten lava. She cuts the roap with her long fingernails and he is sent to his doom
* nubbie goes back to studying
* sonicrules1234 floats and summons a lava monster to eat ClaireBear
<BigPaul> :X
* sonicrules1234 also eats the sammich
* ClaireBear is friends with the lava monster after last night and tells it to attack sonicrules1234
* sonicrules1234 threatens to tell the lava monster's wife that he cheated on her with ClaireBear
* sonicrules1234 then eats the sammich some more
* ClaireBear notices the lava monster beat his wife to death thus not cheating on her, he continues towards sonicrules1234
* Kebbins also notices a Grizzly Bear advancing toward Wei.
<BigPaul> :D
* sonicrules1234 makes a large body of water, and pours it on the monster, turning it to stone, then levitates it over ClaireBear's head and lets it drop
<Kebbins> sonicrules1234: but if the lava monster was resting, it would be obsidian!
* sonicrules1234 turns Kebbins into a goat
* ClaireBear teleports herself to the safehaven known as pedobears corner. She casts a spell and suddenly ninja snipers start shooting at sonicrules1234!
* sonicrules1234 breaks out his kung fu ninja skills, combined with magic, and defeats the ninja snipers, all in matrix style
* sonicrules1234 then drops a nuke on pedobear's corner
* ClaireBear notices a unicorn feeding on the grasses and jumps on it, taming it with her 1337 skills, she manages to gallop very fastly towards sonicrules1234, impaling his torso with the unicorns long horn.
<Kebbins> *quickly
<Kebbins> fastly is not even a word
* sonicrules1234 grows a new torso, and turns ClaireBear into a guy
<BigPaul> :p bleh
* ClaireBear faps furriously and turns herself back into a girl
<sonicrules1234> LOL
<Kebbins> *furiously
<ClaireBear> ok kevin....
<ClaireBear> shush and enjoy the show :3
<Kebbins> furriously would probably be having to do with furries
<nubbie> .....
<nubbie> there is no show
<Kebbins> please do not introduce that concept.
<nubbie> CLAIRE YOUR ACTING SUCKS
<nubbie> booooooooooo
<BigPaul> XD
* sonicrules1234 teleports ClaireBear into a justin beiber concert
<ClaireBear> your face sucks d:
<nubbie> yeah
<nubbie> and?
<ClaireBear> ...
<nubbie> haha
<BigPaul> i think im start throwing pop corn for fun
<nubbie> sucks on kimmeh :P
<ClaireBear> LOL...
* ClaireBear eats sonicrules1234's head.
* sonicrules1234 grows a new one, and destroys the old one. He then makes an avalanch bury ClaireBear
* ClaireBear is also known as the ice queen and encloses sonicrules1234 in a sphere of ice, only penetrable by herself.
* sonicrules1234 teleports out, and sues ClaireBear for freezing him in ice, since he copyrighted that spell already
* ClaireBear kills the cops and flys out on her broomstick, she then shoots lazors the width of the empire state building at sonicrules1234.
* sonicrules1234 conjures a giant mirror, and then tickles ClaireBear
* ClaireBear dies
<sonicrules1234> LOL
<sonicrules1234> YAY
<sonicrules1234> Was tickling your weakness?
<ClaireBear> lol no :3
* Kimmeh (headphones@silent.dance.party) has joined #ninjams
* Mother gives channel operator status to Kimmeh
<sonicbot-dev> kimmeh: ClaireBear sent you a memo! 'pretend you're a 20 year old woman walking home on a saturday night, it's dark and no one is around. Suddenly someone with a mask runs up behind you, tackles you down, strips you and rapes you. After a week you get a pregnancy test and it turns out positive. Do you keep the baby?'
<sonicbot-dev> kimmeh: Kebbins sent you a memo! 'FREAK OUT!'
<sonicbot-dev> kimmeh: Wei sent you a memo! 'I MISS YOU BBY WHERE ARE YOU I LOVE YOU.'
<ClaireBear> :O
<sonicrules1234> You just wanted to die?
<Kimmeh> ....
<ClaireBear> No when i saw my reflection, I realised how beautiful I was and had a heart attack.Comment: #ninjams on vbirc
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#304513* (?/48) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Forward> !seen nanobot
<nanobot> You're asking me if I've seen ... me?
<segin> yes
<segin> we are
<segin> now answer you stupid bot
<nanobot> No, there's no mirror on this server..
<nanobot> Now quit being a little bitch.
<segin> Who you callin' a bitch, you piece of compiled shit?
<nanobot> I'm not compiled. Perl isn't compiled, it's interpreted you retard.
<segin> Only because your owners never ran you through perlcc.Comment: #hackerthreads on irc.otherworlders.org
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#304512* (?/46) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Taxalot> hmm
<Taxalot> Portal 2 is actually the only game I'm looking forward to these days.
<Taxalot> The first one was one of my best surprise of 2008, right after losing my virginity.
<Taxalot> Actually, I think Portal was better than losing my virginity.
<Taxalot> When I did it, all I could hear inside my head is "This was a triumph, I'm making a note here, huge success !"
<Taxalot> So that's got to tell you something. |
#304511* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Fred Falkland> I am in the fourth dimension. time is easily malleable if you manage to transcend it by understanding it. oh and heroic doses of DMT works wonders. |
#304510* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<MegaworM> its these fucking reeses cups man
<MegaworM> theyre tearing this family apart
<@bbot> you're tearing me apart, reese-a |
#304509* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<afroakuma> !bday Ragnarok
<Rhona_d`Cannith> afroakuma's birthday has been recorded.
<Felinoid> That's tax day for all us Americans. Makes it pretty easy to remember.
<afroakuma> ...what, Ragnarok?Comment: #giantitp
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Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
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