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#302100* (?/29) πOld
<JelloPudding> .g fermented smegma
<godzilla> [0/7] "Is the new McDonald's sweet chili sauce good? - Yahoo! Answers"
<JelloPudding> oh GOD
<JelloPudding> NOT GOING TO MCDONALDS |
#301618 (12/140) πOld
<Jesus> there were about a half-million chowns done
<Jesus> and security blanket has only a "roll back all" option
<rm-rf> as in, rollback all changes to the system?
<Jesus> yeah.
<Jesus> "we made 900000 changes. rollback all or none?"
<Jesus> fuckers
<Dopey> .pu uoy evig annug reven
<Dopey> rick rollback
* pjustice beats Dopey |
#301922 (100/138) πOld
<kelvin> I wrote an app in C# for the first time today
<kelvin> it was only about 6 lines, took about 5 minutes
<kelvin> then I felt dirty and spent the next 3 hours writing the same code in C
<kelvin> :( |
#52748 (3730/4082) πOld
<jesterlo1> So back in the day of the modem, when porn was limited to pictures only, I used to go to lots of thumbnail galleries and save the pictures to a folder that I would use a slideshow on afterwards.
<jesterlo1> The great thing about a slideshow is that pressing any key makes it disappear, good for the uninvited guest, know what I mean?
<jesterlo1> Well it turned out that uninvited guest was my father and I was in the middle of a "session" so I quickly press escape and ask him whats up.
<jesterlo1> He looks at me, looks at the screen, I look at the screen, say, "uhhhhhhhhhh", then he mutters something about if there was any email for him and leaves quickly.
<jesterlo1> FUCKING INTERNET EXPLORER HAS "SET AS BACKGROUND" NEXT TO "SAVE IMAGE"
<jesterlo1> And said pic was a huge cock spraying all over this girls face.
<jesterlo1> But because of the dimensions of the pic, all you could see was a huge cock spraying as my background.
<jesterlo1> And that my friends, is why I use Firefox. |
#300071 (197/299) πOld
[elita] neone care to spare 400 dlls?
[carbine] Lemme check my system32 folder |
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sadhat: low-noise, high-signal news
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#300724 (1403/1773) πOld
<Shey>Hey John,some confused lady called the helpdesk that they've closed the nursery two hours ago or so,and if you are gonna pick up your daughter...
<John>Holy shit!
-!- John has quit
-!- Michael has quit
-!- Nobody has quit
-!- MoneyMaschine has quit
-!- Server has quit
-!- fightbot has quit
-!- Nobody has joined #techsupper
<Nobody>Shey,send us some network guys, John tripped over the switch cable and pulled the socket from the wall. |
#301694 (321/393) πOld
Stranger: girl looking for boy to talk dirty
Stranger: interested?
You: o ok
Stranger: you start baby
You: mud
You: dust
You: mold
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
#203271 (2297/2945) πOld
<Croc> Okay well I got this new girl home
<Croc> One thing led to another and you know
<Croc> well in the awkward moment after sex
<Croc> but before anything else happened yet
<Croc> I had the strangest impulse
<Croc> I took some left over cum and smothered it on her forehead and said "Simba..." |
#302118* (?/17) πOld
<Tristan> what is the count / for the syllables in a / damn mother fucking haiku?Comment: He got the second line right.
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#302089* (?/50) πOld
(5:50:21 PM) tehloki: today i went to the convenience store to buy some ramen
(5:50:35 PM) tehloki: and i asked the clerk where it was because i couldn't find it
(5:50:52 PM) tehloki: and he wandered around going "lamen... lamen..."
(5:51:04 PM) tehloki: and eventually he gets to the fruit fridge
(5:51:07 PM) tehloki: holds up a lemon
(5:51:11 PM) tehloki: and goes "lamen!"Comment: #dorkd
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#296105 (116/178) πOld
Forggy: my kitten is almost cat sized now
CorbinFox: uh oh, better put it in the freezer then. the cold makes things contract
CorbinFox: that way you can keep it as a kitten forever!
Forggy: you can't play with my kitten anymore ok?
CorbinFox: aw :( |
#300287 (241/251) πOld
<@Toba> Note to self: check new boxers before wearing. I just found a 'quality control passed' sticker on my wang. |
#56901 (14892/16748) πOld
<glowsun> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
<glowsun> and got mauled
<glowsun> and people were talking about how there should have been better defenses put up to prevent people getting into the cage
<glowsun> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
<glowsun> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in |
#51570 (10183/11789) πOld
<fabz> I think we need to work on our communication.. one guy is talking crap, one just goes "lol" and the other one doesn't understand what's going on
<atsleek> lol
<Nefemus> what? |
#54088 (9479/10797) πOld
<Dogan> GUYS, STORY TIME
<Dogan> SO my teacher's friend's friend or something
<Dogan> She was dogsitting one day
<Dogan> Shows up the first time, finds the dog dead on the floor, right?
<Nightryde> how embarrassing
<Dogan> SO she's gotta pack the dog corpse up and take it to the vet so they can dispose of it or whatever
<Dogan> She can't find anything to fit it in, so she stuffs it in a freaking SUITCASE
<Dogan> She didn't have a car so she has to take the train through Chicago
<Zeelot> oh mannnn
<Dogan> This guy helps her carry the case on and is like
<Dogan> "this is pretty heavy, what's in it?"
<Dogan> lady replies "just some computer things"
<Dogan> the guy SOCKS HER IN THE FACE AND RUNS OFF WITH THE CASE
<joebot> ROFLMAO ROFLROFLROFL!!!
<Zeelot> OMG ROOOOOOOOOFL
<Nightryde> AHAHAHAHAHAHA HOW would you pawn that sort of thing???Comment: True story.
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#31256 (8763/11433) πOld
<pronstar``afk> my kazaa preformed an illegal opperation
<cCCPehlet`> isn't that what kazaa is designed to do? |
#60854 (8621/10629) πOld
<dev-hda0> Damn... while coming home from the store, this drunk came up to me, and was like,
<dev-hda0> "Hey, you big black nigger! Loose-lips McGee, why don't you go back to your monkey relatives? Bet you couldn't even add 1 + 1."
<dev-hda0> And I calmly respond, "What's the derivative of cosecant(x)?"
<dev-hda0> he just replied, "fuck you" and left...
*** Join: Elexon
<Elexon> shit, I just got owned so badly by a black guy on the street... |
#4281 (7865/11975) πOld
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D\-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet |
#302112* (?/19) πOld
<TopRamen> I am a Noodle American.
<NinjaViking> wet, limp and salty? |
#81446 (2242/2630) πOld
ATH0: I don't know why the Korean guys at school love Steve so much.
ATH0: He doesn't look too Korean.
Batman: He told me.
Batman: Basically, he beat them at StarCraft and became their king. |
#85719 (424/490) πOld
< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail |
#85329 (2249/2585) πOld
<upparoom>So this chick I know is suing her Birth Control maker
<upparoom>She started taking it and gained a bunch of weight.
<upparoom>She went from a size 5 to a size 22 and lost most of her hair.
<upparoom>I'm thinking...
<upparoom>thats some pretty damn effective birth control.. |
#78919 (2987/3211) πOld
<SpannerGO0> HEY BICTHES
*** SpannerGO0 was kicked by sam88 (don't be a douche)
<BicThes> he was talking to me i think
<sam88> whoops |
#302098* (?/19) πOld
<Starsinger> don't ogremages have atwill Cone of Cold?
<Fax> 1/day
<Starsinger> ... that's not atwill
<Starsinger> nevermind
<Starsinger> I was basing the theory off the idea that they had infinite CoCs
<Fax> you sound like a person who likes infinite cocs
<Starsinger> I just want infinite access to one |
#301119 (294/328) πOld
xoebus: *sigh* One of my flatmates just asked "Where is Admiral Ackbar from?", I replied "Mon Calamari". He then said "No which series, Star Trek or Star Wars or something else; you fucking geek."
xoebus: I feel loved.Comment: #inf2, irc.imaginarynet.org.uk
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