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#33098 (216/368) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bubbaprog> somebody told me simon cowel reminds them so much of me
<Bubbaprog> and i said why, because i am sophisticated and attractive
<Bubbaprog> and they said no
<Bubbaprog> because you're an asshole |
#21658 (4077/5304) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava? |
#7005 (39/210) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rikhei> I am *not* a pricktease
<K`shandra> oh - you follow through. Okay. ;-) |
#32695 (87/265) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> we're talkign about sex (no big deal at my work) and he pops in and he says this "mmm i like to give them girls golden showers...", after that we were both like "........", and he knew he said something wrong and left .
<ZestyO> ...
<White_Anomaly> strange people on this planet
<White_Anomaly> :(
<ZestyO> indeed
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> yes very
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> i didn't know half of the sick things i do now until i got on the internet :(
<Crazy_Lekker_Ding> my poor soul will never be pure again :( |
#3421 (141/275) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DrWoody> One time I was at the store with my friend and there were these underage kids in the porn section they kicked out while we were in there.
<DrWoody> so they gave us their money and we bought porn for them
<L33TKnight> your good deed for the day?
<DrWoody> I like to give back to society. |
#27844 (197/345) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<INFINITE> heh, i just figured out Neo backwards is One
<z3ro> er.. Oen
<INFINITE> oh wait .. Shit |
#2065 (229/409) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<matts> hal check your privates
<matts> err
<matts> messages |
#146569 (271/471) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<JSPX9> Whats the unit of measurement for energy in general?
<Totaliz> watt
<JSPX9> If you don't know then just don't fucking say anything, don't say fucking "wat" you douche
<Totaliz> no fuckbag its a "watt"
<JSPX9> Oh...sorry |
#114245 (418/524) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Prrrrostata> in the back of national lampoon they had little round stickers that had a picture of a screw on them
* JacklynHyde hoists an eyebrow
<Prrrrostata> you could stick them over the heart on bumperstickers
<Prrrrostata> "I <screw> my german shepard" |
#3600 (124/275) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
<BombScare> damn im lazy |
#304684 (47/83) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BrokenHaiku> No but my former neighbours had a lot of sex, which was evident from her yelling. We have pretty thick walls though so often I only hear hear vagely when it's quiet at night...
<BrokenHaiku> And so one night I heard her and it sounded pretty hot so I thought I'd get in on some parallel action so to speak.
<BrokenHaiku> And just when I'm hot and going her screaming gets louder
<BrokenHaiku> And I suddenly realise...it's not her.
<BrokenHaiku> It's her baby crying. |
#301998 (115/205) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sohcahtoa> Why are you so obsessed with the size of my penis?
<Sohcahtoa> Do you really want to know how big it is? Fine I'll tell you.
* Quits: Sohcahtoa (Excess Flood) |
#8501 (84/200) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cactoid> you love the Colonel
<cactoid> I like KFC chippies
<cactoid> and zinger burgers
<cactoid> the rest tastes ok while you're eating it but it's just fucking gross greasy fried vermin
<Bayls> Yeah, the chips are ace.
<Bayls> The actual chicken pieces are shit.
<Bayls> You may as well sculpt some lard into a shape the looks like a drumstick, then coat it with butter. Then roll it in lard, then melt fat onto it, then fry it in animal fat, dip it in lard then eat it.
<Bayls> I think 10 out of the 11 secrec "herbs and spices" are "lard".
<Bayls> Mmmm, making me hungry. Might go get a 21 piece bucket. :)
*** Signoff: Bayls |
#8375 (93/259) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<AsylumXKP> Yeah no advertising. (This message was brought to by ANALSEX.COM! ALL ANAL ALL THE TIME!) |
#53212 (129/297) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Glass_Joe> god I'm such a nerd
<Glass_Joe> I was reading online about this ring from lord of the rings called "the dwarven ring of power", and how it supposedly augmented their fighting abilities
<Glass_Joe> and I said to myself "Haha, it's got +5 to strength", then I laughed like a donkey. |
#17960 (113/275) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kirke> I had interests too
<Kirke> But they all ended in court |
#463 (110/312) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
"The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly,
flat, and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to
intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States."
The Chicago Times review of After Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. |
#37282 (95/207) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dest> tate: If useless facts got you women, I'd be beating them off with shotguns
<Fenris> instead of beating himself off with a mitten |
#226 (117/361) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DigDug> and i *don't* need an absolute nerd like me. THAT's when i will shrivel up and die, because i will never leave the house then.
<Guilty> Yeah pen and his wife would just compete for first post on slashdot
<Guilty> It would never end |
#52660 (164/282) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Log> Ugh...
<@Log> Don't ever jump into a car like they do in the Dukes Of Hazzard.
<@Log> Unless of course you WANT to get sodomised by the gear shift. :( |
#311375 (19/31) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DrMcCoy> $ mv clone2728 droid2727
<-- clone2728 has quit (Ping timeout: 255 seconds)
<DrMcCoy> Well, that's not quite what I wanted :P
--> droid2727 has joined #xoreos
<Farmboy0> DrMcCoy: you certainly have a way with people ^^ |
#16886 (5/272) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jon_R> OH NO
<Jon_R> my page crashes netscape!
<Jon_R> whatever shall I do |
#111114 (641/875) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> So, we were all sitting around, trying to decide who would cook tonight.
<Trinexx> Someone got the wonderful idea of making ME cook, despite the fact that I once caught ramen noodles on fire. I, of course, told them it was a bad idea. They didn't believe me. Gave me a recipe and very precise directions. I finally agreed to do it, but only if they understood that they eat at their own risk.
<Trinexx> So yeah, we've all got food poisoning now. |
#8447 (37/203) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Ryk> one of my favourite pastimes spotting boobjob scars.
<Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush. |
#54903 (353/493) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<taste.it> mh... if one of us had to die right now and you could decide if it was you or me, who would you choose?
<wiesel> that's hard... well, i'd say i'd let you die... people are egoistic, that's the way it is
<taste.it> and you think you could live with that decision?
<wiesel> better than with the other one. |
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