<Elizacat> our government couldn't stop a baby from choking on a plastic bag if it was on the congressional floor
<Elizacat> half of the house would say the baby should be allowed to die
<Elizacat> from its own stupidity
<Elizacat> and the other half would be too busy attaching riders to the bill to take the bag off the baby's head
<Elizacat> so in the end, the bill to remove the bag from its head, would contain funding packages for at least 10 gov't agencies
<Elizacat> then the senate would bicker that it's GOP legislation to remove the bag and that there should be a total ban on all bags everywhere
<Elizacat> in the end a supreme court ruling would rule it's unconstitutional to remove the bag from the baby's head, rendering it moot
<Elizacat> during all this
<Elizacat> obama just stays silent
<Elizacat> and prefers to focus on the fiscal cliff
<Andy> DISTRACTION
<Odd> So someone from customer service at work forwarded me this e-mail: "Thank you for the confirmation of my book order, but you can save yourself and me a lot of time by not blowing up your schemes to 'help the environment.' What you call 'help the environment,' I call a Jewish communist plot to destroy nations and topple freedom. So spare me the smug rhetoric."
<arieldanielle> There's an apartment complex in which a dead girl was found recently
<arieldanielle> Now they have a sign outside advertising "killer leasing specials"
<@Kain_Dragoon> lol..... just ran google translate on a page full of names of hentai doujinshi
<@Kain_Dragoon> its funny shit
<@Kain_Dragoon> its so literal
<@Kain_Dragoon> Relocation of the capital hundred raw vagina
<@Kain_Dragoon> ROFL
<@Zinic> And this is why I don't do this
<@TheGiz> I think one day I'm going to invent a peripheral for games to drive home just how violent they are
<@TheGiz> Like a boxing glove on a spring and when you lose a fight in the game an on-screen prompt will instruct you to take your lumps like a man
<@TheGiz> And if you DON'T do it, then it'll wait until you're asleep and R2-D2 roll into your bedroom and sock you then
<@TheGiz> Gonna admit
<@TheGiz> I really just want to spend the rest of my life designing robots that punch people in the face
<@TheGiz> Either as video game peripherals
<@TheGiz> Enhanced interrogation machines
<@TheGiz> Gladiator Bloodsports
<@TheGiz> whatever
<Ender> Every day when I get up I intend to get all kinds of work done.
<Ender> Then everything goes horribly wrong. :)
<devnull> every day when i get up i intend to get as little work done as possible.
<devnull> Then everything goes horribly wrong.
< radiofree> around the time the UK was planning to introduce id cards, i was walking down the high street and some hippy handed me a flyer "NO2ID", a campaign group opposed to government id cards, stating things like privacy etc...
< radiofree> at the bottom it said "Join our facebook group"
<lucky> i got into it with an asphalt contractor at work and then had his truck towed for being in a handicapped space.
<SatNiGHTS> did you shout at him "MENTAL HANDICAPS DON'T COUNT!"?
<lucky> the best part? the lines are barely visible because HE didn't paint them as he was hired to do last summer. so he didn't see them.
<lucky> he came storming in, scared my paraschiz resident (poor guy), and demanded he be "payed what he was owed for his time in August". i told him that according to our records, he was paid exactly what he was owed - in that, he was paid for what he did, not what the original contract said. He never re-striped the lot or sealed the south end of the cul de sac.
<lucky> he wouldn't shut up. i asked him to leave. he didn't. i told him to leave. he didn't. i made his truck leave without him while he was making an irate phone call.
<myself> did he see it in mid-tow, or only after it was gone?
<lucky> mid tow. told him they regularly monitor the handicapped spaces, it is after all a senior community. his reply : "YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FUCKING SYMBOL!!!!" my reply: "my point exactly."
<SmallR2002> I was just thinking back to a previous job where a team lead when escalating to me told me to 'just open the DLL in word and use the comparison thingie to see what changed in an update (of the DLL)'
<aji> suppose that X is the most annoying thing
<Brando753> ok
<aji> let Y be "nerds arguing about X"
<aji> by the Brando753 principle, Y is more annoying than X
<aji> therefore, no such X can exist
<snacky> oh. FUCK you krut
<snacky> you are the worst person in the world
<snacky> I look forward to viciously murdering you to death a whole lot.
<snacky> hmm, that sentence is kind of unclear. I will clarify.
<snacky> I will viciously murder you to death a lot, and I also look forward to it.
<snacky> it's not that I "look forward a lot" to viciously murdering you to death
<krut> you look forward to murdering alot
<snacky> the death certificate will list the proximate cause of death as "vicious murder, a lot"
<snacky> although if the coroner isn't careful, he might not notice the signs of murder. in this case, he will identify the cause as "severe acute death"
<ShyJoe> which becomes chronic death after about a week
<bob> how does Pandora not have an xbox app.
<jmather> bob: because it's not pandora's box
TheEnd. : I hate my job, too boring.
JimmyKillsAlot : I hated my last job
JimmyKillsAlot : I worked for this call center for the board of education
JimmyKillsAlot : we managed servers and helped teachers all over the state
JimmyKillsAlot : like teaching approved sites and keeping them certified
TheEnd. : Sounds boring.
JimmyKillsAlot : it was
JimmyKillsAlot : and always buggy, people couldn't register and had to call us
JimmyKillsAlot : and when we made the account the username was based off of first name, last name, and a random number
JimmyKillsAlot : one day this woman calls and we go through the motions to make her an account
JimmyKillsAlot : when the info pops up
JimmyKillsAlot : I had to keep a straight face as I told Irene that her username was IMaho247
JimmyKillsAlot : my boss had to put the lines on hold for 5 min until the laughing stopped
<myself> Heh. I'm reminded now, of fetching the entire sysinternals suite, and then wanting to run them ALL so I could click through the infernal EULA on each one and not be bothered with it again
<myself> for %a in (*.exe) do %a
<myself> ^^^^ comedy
<c0nsumer> myself: there's another way
<myself> nah that worked, it just brought the machine to its knees for about 20 seconds :)
<c0nsumer> myself: HKCU\Software\Sysinternals\Process Monitor|EulaAccepted REG_DWORD 0x1
<c0nsumer> lather, rinse, repeat
<c0nsumer> export ...\Sysinternals.\...,, strip out eveyrthing but those EULA lines
<myself> Oh man, so I could just save a .reg and import it again on each machine I bring the tools to
<c0nsumer> import the .reg file elsewhere
<c0nsumer> exactly
<myself> yesss
<@LAMMJohnson> I suspect Star Trek Into Darkness will be good but not great.
<@LAMMJohnson> My reasoning for this is thus
<@LAMMJohnson> Perfect score because all of its words have a length that is a power of 2.
<@LAMMJohnson> Minus one point because total letters is not a power of two.
<@LAMMJohnson> Not even including spaces.
<@LAMMJohnson> However, the letters in all of the words plus the number of words is 24.
<@LAMMJohnson> Overall score for the movie: 8.5
<~chown> LAMMJohnson - Vice Executive of the Autism Department
<@LAMMJohnson> The score, correctly, is a power of two marred with an ugly fraction.
<@LAMMJohnson> Although the fraction is 1/2
<@LAMMJohnson> Actually, the overall fraction is 17/20 which I pretty much hate.
<@LAMMJohnson> Which means I will initially think the movie is OK but then later change my mind and hate it.
<~chown> LAMMJohnson - Honourable Chairman of the Autism Empire
<KsM> Estrellas you're more attractive than a cat
<KsM> I mean that in the best way possible
<Estrellas> that's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me
<+Erik> oh yeah, isp seems to be having routing problems recently as they're adding peers
<+Cronus> peer pressure
<chernobyl> Last night, Chewbacca and I were having a conversation in my billion dollar mansion about how much we hate people who lie on the Internet...
<mabus> well there's lying, and then there's exaggerating about your wife and apartment
<Pryoidain> ....
<Pryoidain> I just fucking got OWNED by a plastic bag
<Pryoidain> So I finished my twizzlers right and I had this 1 gallon plastic bag with a double seal thing
<Pryoidain> so i closed it up real tight and used a straw to inflate it to bursting, then sealed it
<Pryoidain> and i sat it on my desk chair and plopped down on it HARD to try and pop it
<Pryoidain> fucker shot out behind me, I flew forward face to desk, chair went backward, I fell off the desk and slammed my fucking head on the wall, and then the bag fell, still inflated, onto my lap
<~derpcat> iirc some reports from chernobyl said people tasted metal when there was radiation
<@Alias> Chernobyl was a graphite cooled reactor.
<@Alias> So that's easy to explain away
<~derpcat> well, it does go with the idea of communism
<~derpcat> this radiation belongs to all of us in equal measure
<@Oliphaunt> I've been put off the Kindle by richard stallman and other horror stories about amazon fuckery
<@Lorkki> I like the expression "richard stallman and other horror stories"
<Zirak> So, I began to install Arch Linux. Had some problem with the booting device, but it happened before, no biggie.
<Zirak> Fixing that problem made a bigger problem. Which made a bigger problem.
<Zirak> Eventually, arch told me "Bailing out, you are on your own. Good luck."
<Zirak> Followed by a kernel panic
<Killswitch> nananananNANANANAN I CAN'T HEAR YOU
<powersurge> Killswitch: is that how batman ignores people?
<nicks> you are going to invent a new microblogging platform
<nicks> where you can only send 20 characters per message
<Haz> twitter lets you get too complete of thoughts through you've got to really condense it to get the core of the message
<||bass> 20 bytes
<||bass> and it's all 32bit unicode
<||bass> and null terminated
<||bass> which gives us 4 characters
<||bass> so pretty much limits you to short sentences in chinese
<nicks> I can communicate a lot with four characters
<nicks> damn
<nicks> crap
<nicks> fuck
<nicks> shit
<nicks> piss
<||bass> dude
<||bass> stop
<+Dixie> i hate how minesweeper can get into indeterminable situations really late in a game
<%Vaccer> dixie get better at maths
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> vaccer it's not a case of maths. there are plenty of situations where it can end up impossible to know where the bomb is
<@Loskene> just like a real minefield
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> the only way to win is not to play