< kn0where> a fox is like a cat and a dog rolled into one
< auxchar> And when you light it on fire, you get a web browser, too.
<~Trixar_za> We should make a drink right
<~Trixar_za> And name it "Responsibly"
<Roxsie> hey sebas, what do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?
<@Sebas> A shit magician.
<&Zera> Oh jesus.. I need to turn off the network share monitor on zerver/glasnftp. *ring ring* "Hey, me (mom's bf) and your mom's gonna watch a movie on the big screen up here. What's the logon password for the server again?". *20 minutes later and checking share activity* "Amateur.Anal.Attempts.15.xxx.dvdrip"
<&Zera> :(
<&Zera> I did not need to know this
<@Shifteny> Ok, I just did something really stupid and I was glad nobody was over in this office today to see it
<@Shifteny> I have this really nice, very warm fleece pullover I keep in this office because it gets cold over here sometimes
<@Shifteny> it has a drawstring in the waist
<@Shifteny> well, I've been wearing it since lunch because I was cold
<@Shifteny> I started getting hot, so I decided to take it off
<@Shifteny> I didn't notice that I was sitting on the drawstring
<@Shifteny> so as I was trying to pull the garment over my head, the drawstring kept tightening around my waist
<@Shifteny> so I was stuck there for a minute trying to figure out why I couldn't get it off
<@Shifteny> flailing around, trying to pull my arms out so I could get un-stuck
<@Shifteny> it was like the fleece pullover equivalent of a Chinese finger trap
rejoec > africans complain theres no water for 20 miles
rejoec > why dont they walk the 20 miles and live there instead
rejoec > like any fucking sane person
<Xynth> Seriously, who starts their name with an X? How do you even pronounce that?
<@Rabbi> don't ever forget to live life
<@Rabbi> it could be over any moment
< Gobina> and hopefully it will be, soon
<@Rabbi> for instance right now I'm writing code for an emulated 16 year old game and drinking a bourbon, alone in my apartment
<@Rabbi> gotta remember to live
<cansado> decode this while i poop: dWggb2gsIG15IGFudXMgaXMgZGlsYXRpbmch
<jph> jph@hellcat:[ttys005]:~/Downloads$ echo dWggb2gsIG15IGFudXMgaXMgZGlsYXRpbmch | base64 -d ; echo
<jph> uh oh, my anus is dilating!
<jph> cans: fuck you
<amarainein> sudo -u bitch make sammich 2>/dev/null
<amarainein> that's how it's done
<robin> amarainein: Why do you want to become the bitch to make a sammich?
<amarainein> i was ordering her- oh, never mind
<amarainein> it's never funny if you have to explain it
<robin> sudo -u bitch is more like possessing her to make a demonic sammich as the walls drip with blood.
<robin> Lights flicker, and bitch suddenly finds herself making a sammich against her very will!
<robin> Yet charged to her filesystem and CPU quota!
<amarainein> exactly. and in /dev/null, noone can hear your screams
* Pryoidain is now known as MSWord
<MSWord> Oh Hi! I'm Microsoft word!
<MSWord> Hmm...I'm not really sure what you're doing here..you're using my equation editor an awful lot.
<MSWord> Oh! I see alot of numbers in parenthesis before these equations!
<MSWord> Huh...They don't quite match up though. See you have (1),(2),(3),(1),(3),(4),(1),(2),(5)
<MSWord> I can help! Let me just automatically reformat those into a list!
* MSWord DESTROYS ALL FORMATTING TO THIS POINT
<MSWord> What? You want me to stop automatically generating lists and go back to previous?
<MSWord> But..I was just trying to help!
<MSWord> Here, I'll fix it.
* MSWord RESETS ALL NUMBERS, FORMATTING, TAB INDENTATIONS, AND FORMULA LAYOUTS
<MSWord> There, Back to a blank slate!
<MSWord> What?
<MSWord> Hey why are you undoing?
<MSWord> Hey, don't go in there, those are my settings!
<MSWord> But, that's the autocorrect setting! That's me! What are you plan-
* MSWord is now known as Pryoidain
<Pryoidain> This is exactly how I am going to explain to my idiot math teacher why Microsoft word is a fucking HORRIBLE choice for a math homework submission.
Thurmond: I only know one Russian word
Thurmond: and it's the word for hedgehog
JBIC: I KNOW THREE WORDS
JBIC: Nyet
JBIC: Da
JBIC: Vodka
M4arin: brb
Rwa: again?
Rwa: you need to start telling me what you're ditching me for, i'm bored.
Rwa: or maybe, you're not afk at all. you're probably sitting there, in front of your computer, getting annoyed by the new-message-on-steam sound as you try to focus on whatever porn you're watching and jacking off to?
M4arin: fuck you
M4arin is now Offline.
[22:25:04] <horrorfax> I want to make a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
[22:25:39] <oughts> Still, that was a noble attempt.
[22:33:04] <horrorfax> I'm not even going to try to top that.
[22:33:07] <horrorfax> Well done.
[22:33:20] <horrorfax> That's a lie. I tried to top it for seven minutes.
<&Tiggerz> i wish i could go trick-or-treating again
<&Bakamoichigei> Grab some kid off the street and tell them you'll give them a halloween costume and take them trick or treating if they split the candy with you.
<&Bakamoichigei> There's an alternate, more legal, version of this plan...but it takes like 6 years.
HelgeSverre: ....
Lemmiwinks: You make some very good points
Lemmiwinks: .,.,, mine are all wonky
<Eevee1> Suppose in management terms, you'd call it the Seagull.
<Eevee1> Fly in, squawk loudly, shit everywhere, and leave.
<Lastair> japanese cosmo
<Lastair> 10 hot sex tips!
<Lastair> tips 1-10: whimper like you're being raped
<Parsee> I don't know... Yuyuko, you were suggesting giving missiles as messages, right?
<Yuyuko> Yeah, you don't need an interpreter.
<Yuyuko> Everyone speaks missile.
<Haschel> Hmm. Wolfram Alpha can't calculate the dietary fiber in half the mass of the moon in Triscuits.
<pawz> the other day.. when i turned up in town to service this client? i actually turned up in the middle of hte night and i couldnt check into my hotel until morning. so before i left i dropped 5 tabs of lsd, and by the time i arrived i was absolutely tripping balls
<pawz> i went into the park and stacked all my bags up and put a stuffed pikachu on the top and sat there chatting on irc for a few hours
<pawz> then i walked to my old university, and wandered around seeing if my old keycard would give me access to anything
<pawz> and gave people really bizarre answers when people asked me who i was and what i was doing there
<pawz> "why are you sitting outisde the refectory with a laptop and tablet and a pickahu plushie ?" "pikachu and i are auditing your network"
<Superfoxy> I hate everyone
<Lexy> Me too! Wanna be friends?
<Lexy> Oh wait.
<+Becky_> when I was like 10 or something I went on the internet to like a HTML chatroom on yahoo
<+Becky_> some guy had the nickname "blink182fan"
<+Becky_> I said to him that the blink tag sucks because it's not supported by all browsers
<jwgoerlich> As an aside, I get concerned when my wife says "let me set the mood with music" ...
<jwgoerlich> And then proceeds to play the Impossible Mission theme song.
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'