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#7885 (275/478)

<Halcr0> If I had a knife, I'd shoot you

#7132 (275/452)

<Darkz> Can't get drunk, work soon
<Delusion> Your priorities disgust me.

#304051 (274/356)

<@Recnilgiarc> In about 5% of patients, it can instead cause inadvertent orgasms when yawning.
<@Recnilgiarc> this shit is going to be awesome

#299916 (274/590)

< Stormscape> If you watch the movie Jaws in reverse it's about a shark who throws people up until they have to open a beach

#230434 (274/584)

<MajorWood> fack
<MajorWood> i just clogged the toilet
<MajorWood> had to put on a latex glove to manually unplug
<LiquidManZero> You fisted your toilet...?

#107067 (274/414)

<Razmann> isn't that a sign of the apocalypse or something?
* FurryHelix looks out of the window... "Nope. I don't see the five horsemen"
<Razmann> aren't there only 4?
<FurryHelix> no there were five, but one left before they got famous.
<Razmann> so since the fifth left, that would mean there's only 4
<FurryHelix> reunion tour.

#104063 (274/360)

<T_ConX> It sucks being a spelling Nazi on Facebook.
<Phoz> Why?
<T_ConX> Well, normally when you see someone pound out garbage like 'ya well thaz jyst ur opinun so yo momma!', I simply assume it's being produced by some 12 year old simian on a sugar high.
<T_ConX> However, on Facebook, every poorly writen comment is attached to a persons real name, and the School Network they belong to.
<Phoz> Oh...
<T_ConX> So as a result, I see 'Kate Smith (Harvard)' attached to the comment 'y cant u just acept jeesus in2 ur hert?'.
<Phoz> Ha!
<T_ConX> I'm not lying!
<T_ConX> I have actually seen Ivy League students with the English skills of a second grader.
<T_ConX> There is some hope however.
<Phoz> How?
<T_ConX> You know how companies are using Facebook and mySpace to do cheap background checks on job candidates.
<Phoz> Yes
<Phoz> Oh... I see...
<T_ConX> Kate Smith - Recruitment Status: Rejected
<T_ConX> Reason for rejection: Poor English skills displayed on Facebook.

#49453 (274/446)

<Kei> oh, anyone know how the hell to amke a sonic costume?
<Kei> my brother wants to be sonic for halloween, and hes been bugging me about it all fucking day
<Kei> i dont get it either
<Zem> paint yourself blue, roll around like an idiot and stay less popular than Mario.

#35193 (274/482)

<JB> Friends come and go, but Nintendo is forever.

#34712 (274/440)

<@Joe> OMG - forgot the wife
<@Joe> my clock never changed
<@Joe> brb

#28488 (274/402)

<Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's cube using only the muscles of his colon?
<StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with the camera.

#14258 (274/412)

<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards

#12299 (274/388)

<Chern> IM SO FUCKIN BORED!
* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!!

#8881 (274/408)

<fo0bar> man, do you know HOW FUCKING LONG a 15ft kvm cable is?
<synec> 15ft?

#8209 (274/418)

<Kyuss> how big should disk 1 of neverwinter be?
<JtHM> |<----------------------------->|
<JtHM> (not to scale)

#5426 (274/434)

<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
<Longi> err?
<Longi> THING
<Longi> someTHING!

#3065 (274/487)

<putnam> i got a speech from my latin teacher about how in europe its commonplace for men to cry
<putnam> and crying is so special
<putnam> i asked her if she wanted me to cry for her and she said no, stop being a pussy this is america

#1029 (274/440)

<timmo> you know maybe we need a real woman in here to help us, give us a womans point of view cause i mean if i asked amanda what makes a man a badass
<timmo> how much you want to bet she would say something like
<timmo> great grammar and 100% kill rate in quake

#952 (274/443)

(Mutiny) Atarax: you ate a americum disk from a smoke detector?
(Atarax) Mutiny: yeah
(Mutiny) Atarax: why?
(Atarax) Mutiny: I thought it would give me special powers.
(Mutiny) Atarax: what did it do to you?
(Atarax) Mutiny: well, it didn't give me any special powers, but it didn't kill me either
(Atarax) Darwin must be spinning in his grave
(Atarax) "why is that fuck still alive"

#292 (274/603)

<skunko> dammit
<skunko> how do you get past the metallica ban on napster
<AlmtyBob> not liking crap music is a start

#227 (274/506)

<Amanda`> We're going to have matching motherboards and processors
<timmo> AMANDA: NOW THAT IS THE TYPE OF WEIRD SHIT IM TALKING ABOUT
<timmo> MOST WOMEN WANT MATCHING SHEETS AND SHIT
<timmo> weirdo

#58 (274/598)

<disconect> Tekken and sex both give my hand a cramp if I do it for too long, though...

#308726 (273/319)

<steveio>this dude at work is an insufferable asshole
<steveio>and he asked me to look at his code because it wasn't working right. But he had that air of "I couldn't find it, so I don't think you will either, but I know my boss will ask if anyone else looked at it, so here." Such an asshole
<steveio>anyhow, found the problem right away, simple fix. But I then added this lovely gem:
<steveio>#define sizeof( rand(
<steveio>he uses sizeof in for loops everywhere >:)

#307813 (273/331)

<+Emmy> It's a good thing I've got a nokia.
<+Emmy> I kinda accidentally threw it against a wall >.<
<+Akuma> Emmy: oh shit! is your wall okay?!

#307376 (273/325)

<Drakar> I am just so confused
<Drakar> What do I feel
<Drakar> but maybe that's what I want
<Drakar> I want to be confused with her.
<Rahid> I'd advise to wait untill you stabilize.
<Rahid> Cause
<Rahid> Do you know what happens to pokemon when they try to attack while they are in confusion?
<Rahid> They hurt themselves, bro. They hurt themselves