<ETP> heh
* Tocool is very confused
<ETP> tocool: so am I, but the key is to just say 'heh' so people think you understand
<Tocool> yea but
<Tocool> ...
<Tocool> heh
<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system
<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?
<Dragonshadow> Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
<Yuyu> Im pretty handy at FAPS games though
<Yuyu> ...........
<Yuyu> FPS
<IndianaJones> name one thing that would not be improved by an infusion of Patrick Stewart voice
<IndianaJones> you can't, can you
<Lofn> I was going to say sex
<Lofn> but that would be a lie
<IndianaJones> MAKE IT SO
<IndianaJones> ENGAGE
<+Kirjava> it's not incest
<+Kirjava> our parents are divorced
AstralFire> I am horrified and amused. On the other side of the highway by my house, there is a horse farm. Waiting on the light to change, I realized I was behind a small sedan with a horse-themed license plate that reads "PWNIES."
<Trinexx> I broke my microphone yesterday
<Trinexx> and my first thought was "FUCK, microphowned"
<Trinexx> -_-
Contrast: Can someone point me in the direction where I can find out how to set up a home network, aside from just using NFS?
Khrajin: This way ------------>
<zashi> I could get a few pounds of unrefined uranium
<Red_Herring> your ass would be in guantanimo before i could figure out how to spell 'guantanimo'
<Red_Herring> which in your defense, ill never figure out how to spell
<Retro> ok so this morning my friend brings in a huge tub of peanut butter
<Retro> crunchy style
<Retro> and says he'll give me 20$ to eat it all
<Retro> two hours later, I had twenty bucks and diarrhea
<smiley1635> Anybody want a 9.1gb scsi HD?
<Strings> What colour is it?
<Sanguini> My friend was over, he asked me to get "a good pron movie"
<Sanguini> I got him a prawn, swimming contentedly along
<Sanguini> He didn't like it :(
<Sarah> lol, i was at a speech and debate tournament in 9th grade at a public high school in albuquerque. the counselor's office was right next to the culinary arts office. on the counselor's office window, there was a poster that said "Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem" and on the culinary arts window there was a poster that read: "Use the right knife"
mfmagbal: Feeling down? Lift yourself up in a few easy steps!
mfmagbal: First, get a mirror and look at yourself.
mfmagbal: Then say "I'm so pretty/handsome!" with a big smile and everything.
mfmagbal: You'll feel better
mfmagbal: Don't use it too much though
mfmagbal: Because liars go to hell.
<J-Dawg> I was cruising through this one-sheep town here in Montana
<J-Dawg> and I had "Get Naked" by tommy lee playing at 3/4 power
<J-Dawg> which means my tires were slipping on dry pavement from the vibrations.
<J-Dawg> and this cop pulls me over
<J-Dawg> "Do you know why I pulled you over, son?"
<J-Dawg> "...because I had Tommy Lee blasting on my stereo?"
<J-Dawg> "Oh, that was Methods of Mayhem?"
<J-Dawg> "Yessir."
<J-Dawg> "Sweet! Have a nice day."
<l0y4l153r> i got some questions about developing plugins for your software...
<Segosa> ah, ok, what language?
<l0y4l153r> english
<Limitless> The CX Registry has shut off the goatse.cx domain suddenly and without warning.
<Limitless> They have cowardly cited a section of their AUP with allows them to remove sites at their discretion.
<Limitless> :(
<Limitless> RIP goatse
<adam> soon, friends, goatse will just be a thing of legend
<adam> we have all participated in something magical
<Zee> adam
<Zee> NO
<adam> Zee: :(!
<Zee> goatse will live on
<Zee> FOREVAR!
<adam> in our hearts and reams
<adam> and vomit
<Zee> REAMS?
<Zee> Reams of paper?
<adam> dreams too
<adam> reams of dreams
<Zee> oh man that's deep
<Zee> that's like, five hundred dreams
<zybl0re> dongs
<Zaphod> cox
<zybl0re> lol
<graham|KEKE> That, ladies and gentlemen, is the summation of the wit on the internet.
<Dabz|Work> it IS friday today isn't it?
<pL1> yeh, it is
<pL1> cut down on the vodka
<Dabz|Work> thought so
<Dabz|Work> it's not that...
<Dabz|Work> noone else has turned up to work
<Dabz|Work> i'm sat all alone in a dark office
<pL1> creepy
<Dabz|Work> i was beginning to wonder if it was the weekend and I'd come in by mistake
<aggiepm> OMG Kill me. I just tried to move my curser off my screen onto my desk to look at a paper document on my desk
<prick> I hate parents who add letters to their kids' otherwise normal names
<prick> Or change them
<prick> "JESSICKA" "TIPHANIE"
<prick> Do you really think that your child will be unique or sparkling because of the confusion associatedwith their name?
<prick> All you're doing is setting her up for a lifetime of spelling out her name to strangers
<_aa_> ebay just bought paypal
<tezzO> they did?!
<tardmac> what was their winning bid?
<mertine> at least he didn't get KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL for STABBING A TEACHER WITH A POCKETKNIFE BOOZ
<melvin> booz stabbed a teacher???
<Gabooz> HE STARTED IT
<[prefix]> hahahah
<[prefix]> I just read the funniest shit
<[prefix]> this guy's sister got her laptop stolen, so her brother broke into it and replaced the dialup phone number for the ISP to his phone #
<[prefix]> when the person dialed it up he had their name on the caller ID went over to their house, took it back, and kicked their ass