[DominoEffect] so, I saw quite possibly the best thing ever today
[DominoEffect] had to go to the hospital because my mother had to have surgery done
[DominoEffect] and in the lobby there was a little bakery type thing, with coffee and bagels and such
[DominoEffect] the guy behind the counter was short, big nose, bald on top, short curly hair on the sides and back of his head
[DominoEffect] when I came in there was a big guy standing around outside, he came in after me and ordered a bagel or something with a thick german accent
[DominoEffect] took a bite and said "you know, we can't get decent baked goods in germany anymore"
[DominoEffect] the guy behind the counter just said "oh, and whose fault is that?"
[DominoEffect] I was fuckin dying, I had to step outside for a minute
<laffy> i wanna get stoned
<assembler> go to iran then
[@TheWickerMan] I remember this one earthquake waaaay back in the third grade.
[@TheWickerMan] It happened RIGHT after this fatass kid tripped and fell on the floor.
[@TheWickerMan] We'll never let him forget that..
[@TheWickerMan] Everytime he falls, somebody rushes under a desk.
<rach> so you can like chop blocks of wood in half with your hand?
<incesticide> yeah
*** Joins: cj
<rach> does it hurt?
<incesticide> not really, if you do it right
<cj> ...
<incesticide> if you don't know what you're doing you'll end up breaking your hand
*** Quits: cj (I don't even want to know)
<mikedep333> while I appreciate the attempt of ubuntu to be user friendly, automatically connecting to my neighbor's unencrypted wireless network is technically illegal for me
<ihate_tuz> and where did you get this ridiculus idea that i hate you?
<_tuz> geee, i wonder.
<labala> i like teh leet pie
<looksofat> stfu, nobody likes you here
<@nobody> wtf, no i dont
<+PeterFA> I'm naked.
<+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication
<+zinx> ruled
<Darren> These anti-drug commericals are getting out of hand.
<Darren> It's this cartoon, and this guy is smoking a joint.
<Darren> And then this alien lands on Earth.
<Darren> And then the guys girlfriend hooks up with the alien when he denies weed.
<Kenji> i want what hes smoking
<Amt> me too
< Syntacs> It's a shame Nintendo isn't releasing today, because they could have an advertising campaign that said "Happy Hallowiin! Don't forget to trick or twiit!", and we'd all be like "Hah! What a delightful pun from the loveable and eccentric Japanese.", and Sony would say "Uh, Happy Thanksps3ing. Err. Shit."
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
<rosonowski> Hah! I love slashdot sometimes.
<rosonowski> You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity?"
<rosonowski> Someone replied to it "If you know of a better way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it."
< Vertelemming> Either your keyboard is broken, you're drunk, or you're drunk and your keyboard is broken.
< loft306> nuether
(thyriad) $bla = mail($Replyemail, $Theme, $Moreheaders, $Firstmessage);
(thyriad) thats how i have it right now
(thyriad) and it dont work
(+Opium) that's because it's wrong
(thyriad) lol
(thyriad) well what order should it be in
(+Opium) rtfm
(thyriad) excellent it works now, thanks
(+Opium) ...
<Lewko> Do you want to have lunch?
<BenK> Sure. What did you feel like eating?
<Lewko> Anything, as long as it used to frolic in a meadow!
<BenK> Hippies?
<Bad_CRC> I went to the hospital today, and it's called "olmstead medical group" so the whole place had "OMG OMG OMG" all over it.
<liquex> w00t
* liquex is the happiest man alive
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> w00t
<Gnimsh> hey liqqy
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> liqqy scored
<liquex> dude
<liquex> how did you know
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> lol
<liquex> were you watching my webcam?
<Zeke[h0m3w3rk]> lmao
<Gnimsh> lmao
<liquex> seriously i wanna know how you knew
<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado
< kakistos> lol. i liked the java compiler.
< kakistos> does the c compiler not tell you what you did wrong?
< deviant> C is great
< ewan> the Java compiler is all like "you have an uninitialised variable there, would you like a hug?"
< ewan> gcc is like "raaagh! I do no bounds-checking! Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"
<Shav|DDR> Gonna meet a friend I haven't seen in months
<Mayseth> The sun?
<HoodrowTrillson> You say -I- have internet badass syndrome? At least I can insult someone without involving genitals or homosexuality you cock-sucking faggot.
<raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention I heard the best owned story
<raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do genetic crosses with it
<raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her and her parents blood types from her mom
<raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad was related to her
<raela> or at least, not the father
<raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D
Davester: Woo I just won at Freecell
Davester: Now all I need to do is get laid
Davester: And it'll be the best year ever
<DayNine> Fractal alligators.
<DayNine> Like a normal alligator, but instead of arms, there are more alligators.
<&qqhax> guys guys
<&qqhax> this is fucking epic right now
<&qqhax> so, my comcast cable box wasn't working
<&qqhax> so i went into the diagnostic menu to play with the frequencies
<&qqhax> and found the menu that lets you enable the dvr even thought i'm not paying for it
<&qqhax> so anyway
<&qqhax> i enable the dvr and reboot the box
<&qqhax> then go to the dvr menu
<&qqhax> comcast gave me a used box
<&qqhax> that has 120gb
<&qqhax> 64% of it is ppv porn.