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Formatting help

#70385 (453/623)

oompaloompaboy89: i got into a fight wit a 5 year old
Kuro Desir: o_O
Kuro Desir: OVER WHAT!?
oompaloompaboy89: who is better batman or superman
oompaloompaboy89: i was wearing a batman shirt and this kid wad wearing a superman shirt
oompaloompaboy89: and he points at mine and says "superman is better"
oompaloompaboy89: so i said fuck off and of course since hes 5 he dousnt know what fuck off means
oompaloompaboy89: so we start argueing and it ends with both of us making faces at each other

#47135 (453/581)

< zeon> typing drunk is hard
< feenyx> it's just five letters

#301596 (452/594)

< Larscis> How long do most printers last?
< Larscis> Because my HP Photosmart 3310 from 2006 finally died today. Quite spectacularly.
< Tamber> oh?
< Larscis> Yes. The seal on the ink resevoir broke through
< Larscis> And the pressure the pump built up caused the ink to spray all over the inside of the printer.
< Larscis> Never before have I had a printer attempt to demonstrate to me what happens with a burst aorta.

#300636 (452/604)

<@mikesch> Google Wave was built to show younger people how older people feel when they try to use the internet.

#295036 (452/594)

<ExZippo> what the FUCK
<ExZippo> i found my "secret santa" end of radio school gift, still wrapped
<ExZippo> i think I missed a chance with kendall o_O
<ExZippo> "Purple Ronnie's Little Kama Sutra" book
<ExZippo> with "text me sometime if you need a hand with any of them" written on the inside cover
<ExZippo> o___________O
<ExZippo> fuck
<ExZippo> 4 years too late on that one

#295009 (452/666)

<airstrike> what do you reply to 'your kiss was still the best kiss i ever had'?
<airstrike> or most amazing, w/e
<MattTS> "Leave me alone dad..."

#64004 (452/578)

<DanAtHome> WELLINGTON (Reuters) - New Zealand's indigenous Maori population reacted angrily on Wednesday to a researcher's findings that Maori have a high representation of a gene linked to aggression, as the nation faces a domestic violence crisis.
<DanAtHome> Is there a Maori word for "irony"?

#51035 (452/584)

<Rjx> so guys
<Rjx> i gotta get my computer to the USA somehow
<Rjx> as cheap as possible
<GerbilWrk> wrap it up in a condom and swallow it
<Jimmothy> put it in a condom and swallow it
<Rjx> you two aren't allowed to talk anymore

#302129 (451/603)

<sje46> I avoid sex the same way I avoid bullets
<sje46> i haven't had the chance to

#48515 (451/651)

<dimethyl> ya u guys are sooo much cooler than that other chan/server i chat in
<dimethyl> oops wrong chan

#34219 (451/607)

<domenow> I'm gripping your cock hard
<ThAtGuy> i'm feeling your breasts
<ThAtGuy> my dick is getting really hard now
<domenow> yeah, mine too
<domenow> I mean... err.

#304344 (450/530)

<Foone> my oatmeal is impressive
<Foone> it has separate instructions for making oatmeal with 1 packet or with 2 packets
<Foone> if you want to make it with 1 packet, you pour into a bowl and add 1/2 cup of hot water and stir
<mathrick> hahah, what?
<Foone> if you want to make it with 2 packets, you pour into a bowl and add 1 cup of hot water and stir
<Foone> I THINK I COULD HAVE FIGURED OUT THE SECOND ONE ON MY OWN
<mathrick> no twist ending?
<Foone> NOPE
<Foone> they don't provide instructions for making it with 3 packets, though
<Foone> but they provide a number to call with questions
<mathrick> DO IT

#302837 (450/552)

* +skism np: Lady Gaga - Pokerface [03:46m/128kbps/44kHz]
<+Polynomial> skism you're a freak
<+skism> why?
<+skism> nothing wrong with lady gaga
<+Polynomial> 128kbps
<+Polynomial> you disgust me

#88600 (450/622)

<tmonk> i always got confused when i was younger and saw magazines
<tmonk> where canadians have different prices
<tmonk> i questioned my father. "if we give equal rights to black people why not canadians too?"

#27597 (450/584)

<Nafoi> In our high school library, at the librarians desk there was a pair of scissors for students to use, to stop people from stealing them the genius had tied them to the leg of the desk with a piece of string, I wish I had taken a picture of this.

#305744 (449/557)

<Palantyre> in the Finnish wikipedia article on Amputation: "This article is a stub."
<Palantyre> Fantastic.

#138941 (449/633)

<Siege> oh dear lord
<Siege> i might have fucked up bad
<Siege> i was taking this test in my anthropology class and the question asked about the last common ancestor between chimpanzees and humans
<Siege> im pretty sure i accidentally wrote something like "although they share many similarities, the humans and chinese branched off into different species ages ago"
<Siege> instead of chimpanzees

#69593 (449/589)

<@SyRuS> err
<@SyRuS> question guys
<@SyRuS> really important question
<@Cold0ne> yes, you are gay
<@SyRuS> how to i change the "author" of a word document
<@SyRuS> i need to change it from "fuck microsoft"
<@SyRuS> when i select file in explorer it says fuck microsoft in status bar
<@Cold0ne> lollll
<@SyRuS> i applied for like 5 jobs allready
<@SyRuS> no chance ;x
<@Cold0ne> AAAAAHAHAHHA
<@Cold0ne> SELF PWNED
<Funky_> hahaha SyRuS
<@SyRuS> ;l

#297426 (448/554)

<Errdoth> Guess what I have that you don't.
<ichai> virginity?
<Errdoth> :(

#265316 (448/662)

xskycrasherx: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: BLACK PRESIDENT

#86021 (448/602)

<Coff> We should bring rain ponchoes back. Problem Solved.
<Cyg> New Problem: I don't want to look like a homeless wizard.

#42327 (448/584)

<Lanmut> what is a haiku?
<Lanmut> i have heard of them before...
<Lanmut> but never seen one

#25625 (448/602)

* Xian just heard a loud bang out side
<Xian> OMG
<Xian> THe pizza boy hit our car!
<Valv|tuba> WHAT?
<Boko> Is the pizza okay!?!?

#63382 (447/639)

<PenguinMan> That is wrong on so many levels, I think I had to fight a boss or two

#54412 (447/611)

<Tommy> and if you're wondering why I was silent, it's because I just tried to open a 14mb file in firefox by hosting it on the same machine
<Tommy> it hasn't finished loading yet
<Mz> so... on one end your pc was working on loading it, and on the other end it's sending it?
<Tommy> yeah
<Tommy> <Firefox> this is a message to 127.0.0.1 on port 80, I want a 14mb file please
<Tommy> <Apache> Someone's calling on port 80! I better send this 14mb file to 127.0.0.1
<Tommy> <Firefox> I'm having difficulty running all of a sudden, someone's using all the memory
<Tommy> <Apache> I can't send this thing fast, someone's lagging the CPU
<Tommy> <Windows> Fuck this shit, I'm going to bed.