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#52660 (163/283) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Log> Ugh...
<@Log> Don't ever jump into a car like they do in the Dukes Of Hazzard.
<@Log> Unless of course you WANT to get sodomised by the gear shift. :(

#49902 (366/552) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<cg> anyone here able to explain a banking question to me in small words?
<devnull> bank? simple?
<GeminiDomino> cg: "All your money are belong to us"

#23541 (103/245) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* jimmiejaz is watching Name of the Rose.
[avicenna] i was watching it too
[avicenna] that and kama sutra
[jimmiejaz] pervert.
[avicenna] hey, it's a story about love.
[jimmiejaz] so that's what it's called now.
[avicenna] man, i wish i were living in 16th century india.
[avicenna] it seems like all they did was have sex.
[avicenna] and if they weren't having sex, they were learning about it.

#25619 (176/322) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<clay> if i take an open wire from my motherboard and stick it in a cup of water will it do anything
<jonathans> yes
<jonathans> it will heat the water

#21446 (140/324) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Number1> what do you do when you have a file that refuses to delete?
<Deech> first, you demand, then you threaten, finally you launch an offensive.
<Deech> Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
<Number1> lol
<Number1> I put a gun to its icon, but it still wouldn't budge.
<Deech> some of those files grew up on the wrong sector on the wrong side of the tracks.. they're hard core, yo.
<Number1> "On the next Jerry Springer: Files gone bad."
<Deech> See it now! Hot file on file action!

#32220 (160/370) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<notlodar> i sent them cash in the mail, is that bad?
<mrpeabody> notlodar: that's good, sending credit card info over the internet isn't safe
<mrpeabody> because of hackers
<mrpeabody> and also viruses
<mrpeabody> and possibly linux

#11573 (149/341) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Amit> I was going to commit seppuku but I accidentally commited bukakke

#29442 (224/408) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<obso> christ
<obso> you get drunk and make out with a guy
<obso> and all of a sudden all of irc is on yer ass
<obso> my girlfriend thought it was cute.

#308438 (218/248) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Migs> what does it mean when critics say a movie is "smart?"
<gildean> they didn't understand it

#11690 (9/403) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Temujin> What class are phoenixes?
<Lewk> Water pokemon
<Temujin> We made up a pokémon today at school.
<Temujin> It's called the "Mexican".
<Temujin> It shoots dirty food and water at you.
<Temujin> And it's special skill is making 15,000 babies and stealing jobs away from people
<Nighters> Temujin you racist bugger.
<Temujin> "Mexican, I choose you! CROSS THE BORDER ATTACK!"

#7270 (224/369) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
( Lev ) i got to taste pre-mixed coca-cola concentrate from McDOnalds!
( Lev ) BEFORE THE WATER!
( Lev ) WEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#7866 (126/283) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Danzo> damn big txt file
<Danzo> B I G <peaches>
* peaches watches notepad crash
<peaches> should've zipped it up
<Danzo> heh..story of my life =]

#41688 (7/209) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<rdancer> frog_: *printf means ``those many functions whose name ends with "printf"'' at least in C, there are *many*
<||cw> my favorite is pprintf, it prints the first letter of any words where the starting sounds is a hard consant sound 2 times

#34527 (89/301) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<scyth> you guys are bash.org mods?
<kisama> nah dude i just play one on IRCComment: #geekissues

#4325 (204/328) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<nitrifik_> damn, I have to leave in 10. I haven't even eaten. :|
<mightyflo> irc is a cruel mistress
<nitrifik_> not as cruel as real mistresses.
<mightyflo> you get what you pay for

#35813 (33/201) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(Biggs`) LOL omg
(Biggs`) my server just started beeping
(Biggs`) like really fast
(Biggs`) I was like "WTF?!"
(Biggs`) then I realised my laptop was resting on the keyboard
(@ddew|bofh) hehehe
(Biggs`) I thought the fucker had caught fire for a minute :/

#6217 (5/278) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<b[a]rt> hey guest1!
<Guest1> hi
<b[a]rt> what's up?
<Guest1> male

#42849 (72/208) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<aeon> As much as I love sitting at my computer for weeks at a time designing brochures, websites, logos, and maintaining a webserver..
<aeon> I might go clean my car.
<aeon> my fiance wrote " I LOVE YOU " with a grape jelly doughnut on my driver-side window and it just hasn't quite completely come off yet...

#30241 (823/1083) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<jimx> Two families move from Lebanon to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's time whichever family has become more American will win.
<jimx> A year later they meet again:
<jimx> The first man says, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
<jimx> The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."
<Fiery_isles> haha
<Tarrasque> hahaah

#20052 (153/324) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Pozzi> My comments will be well structured, mature and on topic at all times.
<Pozzi> Now fuck you all!

#310258 (37/61) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< cyberdog> so there are a few holes in watchdogs
< cyberdog> you can 'prevent crimes' by pre-empting them using some bullshit minority report hacking anonymous #wearelegion thing, but when you prevent it, it counts as a victory condition no matter what happens
< cyberdog> so the half hour police chase beforehand, the hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of damage caused, the fact that i arrived on the scene by crashing through the outside area of a restaurant and killed 75% of its customers, and then the fact that i blew both the perp AND the victim away by accident doesn't matter
< cyberdog> perps down, you're a hero
< cyberdog> and then you can stealth in cars to avoid detection, yet it doesn't seem to matter whether the car has doors or not
< cyberdog> hes just sort of slumped in the seat in plain fucking view
< cyberdog> its still entertaining though
< cyberdog> it's a bit like hackers in that it's silly but still enjoyable
< nukes> ahem
< nukes> hackers was not silly
< cyberdog> no that's true. every time i send an email 1s and 0s fly around the room and i surf down a 90s tidal wave wearing an augmented reality headset :P
< nukes> that's not augmented reality, that's lsd

#65016 (276/454) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DogTheBootyHunter> dammitdammitdammitdammitdammitsonofabitch
<DogTheBootyHunter> I just missed the season finales of two of my shows...
<DogTheBootyHunter> lost track of time
<muttonduck> i watched northern exposure religiously, never missed an episode, even when joel left the series. i was watching the FINAL episode with five mins to go when my 3 yr old daughter fellover in the hallway and banged her head. By the time I got back to the TV the show was finished.
<muttonduck> Now my son is my favourite child.

#751 (285/498) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[reidman ) why is there an ad for Windows Media Player on the Apple Quicktime site??
[|Dan| ) god only knows why
[|Dan| ) and he's laughing

#10223 (2/228) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<luminosity> No wait... I can do better than that. they should develop a
neural connection so I can sit here and not even have to move.
<martinb> sure. Can it write this requirements spec I'm working on, too?
<luminosity> Why the hell not?
<luminosity> While it's at it it can do my homework so I can concentrate on
fun stuff.
<martinb> so get working on it!
<martinb> no, wait, recusion
<martinb> damn

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