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#301243 (36/108) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[nickeax] If you could be any monarch, which would you choose?
[Hex] batman
[robzy] batman
#46368 (289/427) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Malygris> Hey, interesting. I just got an email offering 20% off rabbits.
<Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and I have lots of other animals anyway,
so a rabbit or two might be cool.
<Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of slang for neon-coloured dildos with
anal stimulators.
<Malygris> Good prices, though.
#305147 (300/424) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MurderMachine> So.
<MurderMachine> My rectal went something like this:
<MurderMachine> "Tell me when it feels uncomfortable"
<MurderMachine> "Dr Donaldson I'm lying on a bed pointing my ass at a relative stranger. It's already less comfortable than I'd like."
#2880 (44/196) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Avi> is this divx ??????????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ???????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!! <-- thats how people are now'a'days
<Lord-Data> Avi: its always been that way
<Lord-Data> just faster cpu's means they type more bullshit
#5324 (13/287) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<highdrow> when you finally get to the end of all the spam
<highdrow> it's kind of dissapointing that there isn't more to delete
<highdrow> ;\
#11389 (54/260) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Cu-Ius> 'in an interview recently Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards, said that kids should not do drugs. Keith, we can't do any more drugs, because you already fucking did them all. We have to wait until YOU die, then smoke your ashes"
#16269 (267/435) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jasn> dad woke me up like 'your brother cut himself with a knife he's bleeding everywhere i gotta take him to the hospital'
<jasn> im like  'can you get me some mcdonalds breakfast'
#44 (14/508) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<iMike> i remember in 8th grade health class we had some guy from a std clinic come in
<iMike> and he was talking about porn mags
<iMike> and some kid was like 'what about playboy?'
<iMike> and the guy was like 'well some consider that to be more of a softcore magazine'
#7958 (211/370) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sine> "You couldn't get a stroke of genius if you were giving a handjob to Einstein."
#301702 (265/435) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
pookyrocks: but maybe some places people just don't care about the super bowl?
pookyrocks: and ignore the fact that exists?
Shivers: yeah
Shivers: those places are called "the rest of the world" :P
#25114 (295/455) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@[TeMpEsT]> ok, let me get this straight. you called me a power bitch, tried to ping me off line, went around asking for the chanserv password, and then tried to evade a ban. and now you want me to op you and your damn bot so you can try to take over the channel?
<|TheRaR|> no, you only need to op the bot
<mazrim> oh, you stupid stupid fuck.
#28938 (227/381) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DreamStiller> whats the advantage of php compared to servers like geocities?
<DrDoug> Well, php is a server side scripting language and geocities is just a steaming pile of shit.
#8544 (136/280) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<timovgod> why is it that not 10 minutes after they put the straight-jacket on my nuts start to itch?
#2998 (113/274) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dboo> shit...i can hear the cat masturbating again
#8508 (9/319) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dr_rotcod> hm thats a toughie
<dr_rotcod> everything ive learned about relationships i learned from 'friends'
<dr_rotcod> "just do what ross did"
#296104 (377/507) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Forggy: my kitten is almost cat sized now
CorbinFox: uh oh, better put it in the freezer then. the cold makes things contract
CorbinFox: that way you can keep it as a kitten forever!
Forggy: you can't play with my kitten anymore ok?
CorbinFox aw :(
#294213 (258/504) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Plasma-Fox> Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her opinion of quantum chromodynamics as a non-abelian gauge theory, she thought the only group of massless quarks was SUL(Nf) x SUR(Nf) x UB(1) x UA(1).
#761 (305/460) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Martes> I gotta stop sleeping nude with my window open
<Martes> no one exciting comes in anyway
#8707 (138/281) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fraggle> get in trouble?
<Afterglow> fraggle: getting in trouble because you look like elton john, of course
<fraggle> yeah they're always disappointed when they find i cant play candle in the wind
<fraggle> "so.. we measure the voltage across.... wait is that elton john back there? can you play us a song?"
#12089 (122/324) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<_luther_> Canada.. great place. They started a country and no one showed up.
#25556 (224/408) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<%pan-chan^^> i need about 8+ hours of sleep
<+gabu> yes
<+gabu> but you're from australia
<+gabu> you sleep during the day
<+gabu> don't you ?
#50431 (49/181) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rw-rw-rw-> Just found out that the reason they didn't upgrade this ISDN line here to voice+data is because "we're out of trunks".
<scromp> Uh oh.  Nothing worse than half-naked telco employees
#23609 (134/307) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Iori> Caerbannog, You might be a RedNeck if, Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
<Khamul> Iori, you might be a Retard if, You have a really Retarded Script that has no idea about, punctuation and Capitalisation
#269623 (331/641) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jed> god DAMNIT what did i DO WITH IT
<jed> i packed a bowl, right here
<metallic> jed: how high are you?
<jed> i'm not
<jed> that's why i'm LOOKING FOR THE GOD DAMNED WEED
#56967 (231/537) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Psyfive> I call my penis Dick Cheney
<Psyfive> yesterday it shot someone in the face
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