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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random |
#45903 (73/181) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<thinman> we should start a compy porn site, with pictures of computers with their covers off
<@joseph> haha
<@joseph> like furniture porn
<thinman> Choose your fetish: x86 + x86 : x86 + PowerPC : x86 with RAIDs : RAIDs on RAIDs : Macs with two mouse buttons : Barely legal Laptops : Dirty Printer Stories : x86's with DUAL 22" Monitors! : HUGE Floppy insertions : Role PlayComment: #filter on SlashNET
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#114281 (220/310) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<mario> wtf
<mario> you know your office is portal crazy when:
<mario> the cake in the kitchen has a sign saying "The cake lies" and sings "Still Alive" when you open the box
<mario> someone talked the contractor into making a few of the doors oval-shaped "portals" instead
<mario> complete with painted orange/blue patterns on each corresponding side
<mario> your file server is swinging from the ceiling aptly named "GLaDOS"
<mario> the new company motto is "There's a hole in the sky through which things may fly"
<mario> and there's a bunch of weighted ikea boxes with hearts on them scattered about
<mario> guess the VP doesn't expect we'll have any clients anytime soon :| |
#8576 (239/366) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<baguette> hey, anyone know how to find a hamster?
<is> set a cat loose
<is> the location of the hamster and the location of the cat will converge quickly
<is> though it may be difficult to separate them again... |
#37046 (36/160) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
(Deranged): Having my right hand as a girlfriend is the best relationship I've ever had.
(Deranged): It's always up for threesomes, it'll never cheat on me.
(Deranged): And best of all, I don't have to talk to it after sex, because I don't know sign language. |
#19210 (238/388) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<kow> I went to laser quest today
<kow> and some kid goes
<kow> how do you turn the auto aim on? |
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Open call for science fiction prose/art
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#140513 (52/142) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<+INOSHU> Hey, did you know they discovered the exact reason you can't suck your own cock?
<~TheDarkestDay> something about flexibility, no doubt
<+INOSHU> Nah, it's cause you don't have one. |
#51075 (266/408) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Affinity> You're friends with james, therefore you must have a double-digit IQ.
<[i2]dErF> i dont have icq |
#15699 (172/343) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<outcaste> Mr Gates donated $38 million to aids research?>
<brian2> yeah, outcaste, he wants windows to be the only deadly disease
affecting millions |
#295092 (52/250) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<havent changed name since 21st jan 007> daniel u know how i said my router was overheating?
<havent changed name since 21st jan 007> i got home yesterday and max had opened it and mounted a heatsink to the hot chip and cut open the side and stuck a cpu fan on the exterior of the case
<havent changed name since 21st jan 007> so now i have super power router
<havent changed name since 21st jan 007> that i think may technically still belong to vodafone |
#22279 (178/356) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<skie`> the guy who sits next to me in french class had a friend that was going through CS in college, so we were talking about that... probably 4 or 5 people turn around and say "What the hell, colleges have a CounterStrike department now?" |
#146969 (1881/2287) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Trinexx> a GM was playing hide and seek with us, right?
<Trinexx> offering a massive prize to whoever found her first
<Trinexx> so I reported a bug
<Trinexx> she summoned me to her so I could explain
<Trinexx> I just grinned and said "Found ya."
<Armada> Did you win?
<Trinexx> No, she sapped me and kicked me off the server. |
#52782 (33/177) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Twyce_Dailey> ok, i now officially have the coolest cellphone ever
<Twyce_Dailey> i have, for a background, a stopsign with "hammertime" spraypainted across the bottom, for a ringtone, Can't Touch This, and for an SMS alert, M.C. Hammer saying "Stop, Hammertime" |
#299580 (244/438) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Pryoidain> Alright, my QDB script is complete!
<asaph> QDB Script?
<Pryoidain> Yeah, see I got tired of the weird thing they use where 1 positive vote and 1 negative vote cancel out to give 0 votes in the numerator of your quote rating...
<Pryoidain> So I devised a formula. Positive Votes = Numerator + [(Denominator - Numerator)/2]
<Pryoidain> I then made a script that searches for my nick on QDB, gathers the various quote levels, runs the above formula, and then tells me how much people love me!
<cjk> Interesting. I may want a copy.
<Pryoidain> Execute Nao!
*five minutes pass*
<Pryoidain> Hm. It must have failed.
<Pryoidain> Either that or -pi people enjoy my quotes.
<asaph> The latter option seems more plausible.
<Pryoidain> Fuck off. |
#2424 (76/276) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<c-rOCK> so I wonder if its possible to become SO good at masturbating, sex becomes obsolete. Like you could be fucking a girl, and just go "man this is weak, wheres my right hand at" because pussy simply isnt up to par with your masturbation skills. |
#25114 (267/399) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<@[TeMpEsT]> ok, let me get this straight. you called me a power bitch, tried to ping me off line, went around asking for the chanserv password, and then tried to evade a ban. and now you want me to op you and your damn bot so you can try to take over the channel?
<|TheRaR|> no, you only need to op the bot
<mazrim> oh, you stupid stupid fuck. |
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Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
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#46368 (262/386) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Malygris> Hey, interesting. I just got an email offering 20% off rabbits.
<Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and I have lots of other animals anyway,
so a rabbit or two might be cool.
<Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of slang for neon-coloured dildos with
anal stimulators.
<Malygris> Good prices, though. |
#11725 (63/231) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
* mode [+im] by Lucy
* mode [-im] by Lucy
* Lucy [Lucy@cr854151-a.baol1.on.wave.home.com] has left #gr []
<Temujin> ..
<Lurker> Lucy sneezed on her touchscreen |
#6552 (76/202) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
* dagbrown *FINALLY* got licenses for his fucking Sun development environments.
<dagbrown> Sun's licensing department must have the slogan "WE HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE" |
#1062 (38/234) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
uiu BitchX: Join to #discotheque was synched in 2.229 secs!!
<digdug> why so few people? :/
<bocz> i wuz hungry |
#34012 (225/411) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
Serrated Sp00n: Holy crap. My dad just told me has a server he's gonna give me.
Serrated Sp00n: And I just saw it.
a restless child: Did you shiver with unadulterated lustful anticipatory glory?
Serrated Sp00n: Yes. |
#1773 (2/225) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Jingoro`> teen pregnency is funny
<rouge> yeah, cos those bitches are stupid.
<Jingoro`> yeah
<Jingoro`> they're like "boohoob boohoo my stupid boyfriend split after I had the baby"
<rouge> hjaw
<rouge> i wouldn't bareskin most chicks anyway.
<rouge> god knows where they've been.
<scar|home> you mean, "I woulnd't bareskin chicks even if I could, anyway"
<scar|home> hjaw @ rogue
<rouge> i said what i meant and i meant what i said. |
#296005 (156/294) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Elista> still..being pissy.
<kaiser> your website has PMS?
<Elista> just the gallery
<Emperor_Nick> The server leaks packets once a month, kaiser
<kaiser> that will take some time till we get to see anything then, nick
<Emperor_Nick> Hehehe
<Chi-Yu> Ah. Coppermine.
<Emperor_Nick> "You don't ping me as much as you used to! You've been eyeing that new blade server! What's wrong, is my core sagging? You want one of those perky young quad core clusters? Asshole!"
<Emperor_Nick> "Please calm down!"
<Emperor_Nick> "SO NOW I'M BEING ILLOGICAL?" |
#7627 (181/333) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
* ToRMeNTeD comes on brazil
<Ratty`> ergh
<Ratty`> it's all sticky
<ToRMeNTeD> you told me to |
#35133 (170/436) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Kaltren> Puppies are cute, especially as steering wheel covers. |
#17813 (144/310) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Raikenku> "Recent study shows Mac users are often more educated than Pc users"
<Magus> that's because any idiot can use a PC
<Magus> but it takes an art degree to use a mac :D |
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