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#305324 (493/653) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Pomax> 20 years from now, someone is going to have the radical idea to give users access to the underlying OS, rather than to the browser API, and he will be heralded a revolutionary.
<Pomax> All manner of programming languages will pop up that work outside "the browser", giving access to "offline" applications, storing files in "user space", even perhaps running in something called "kernel mode".
<Pomax> It'll be a brave new world.
<Mirell> It's scary that's believable.
#29171 (160/324) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Mike468> theres nothing funnier than watching your 13 year old little brother type 'ilikebigtits.com' into the browser in the pc downstairs
#299795 (2004/2274) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<popemichael> I was in line to buy a new DVD player. The woman in front of me was having something delivered.
<popemichael> The clerk asked for her 'street name' she replied "I don't have one I go by Shanice."
#7718 (294/418) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<[-tOrn-]> And then today at work I almost cracked up
<[-tOrn-]> "Hey what are the system requirements on this?"
<[-tOrn-]> "Uh, sir..that's a book."
#57608 (324/536) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
<Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#31711 (159/391) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<OldManPeterson> once, i was fucking this girly doggy style and she farted right. really loud too, well the bitch looks at me and goes 'its talking to you". so i was like, 'well, tell it to stfu"
#53147 (145/267) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Fool|NO-HTTP> so...do you think i can get in trouble for this scheme:
<Fool|NO-HTTP> i can cancel pick 3 and pick 4 tickets
<Fool|NO-HTTP> and if i sell a $2 ticket there is a chance to instantly win $10
<Fool|NO-HTTP> so i can buy a bunch, and cancel all the non instant winners
<Fool|NO-HTTP> and make $8 per
<s4f3_m0d3> say hello to federal prison for me
<Fool|NO-HTTP> not federal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> it is a state lottery
<s4f3_m0d3> so state prison then
<Fool|NO-HTTP> if i messed with multistate lottery i may get federal issues
<Fool|NO-HTTP> but i fail to see what is illegal about it
<Fool|NO-HTTP> they just left a HUGE loophole
<Fool|NO-HTTP> buying tickets: legal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> canceling tickets: legal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> afk, cops are here
<s4f3_m0d3> afk for the next five to ten?
#5533 (80/238) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<gobi> djcrom: most guys would prolly jump on it and put a bag over her head if nothing else
<djcrom> if anything you'd need like 15 condoms tho
<gobi> djcrom: or a full body condom
<djcrom> don't get herpes, get glad (tm)
#33101 (238/412) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Trigun_> I hate Anger mangement class
<Recon> heh
<Recon> i can tell its really working :|
#25330 (74/218) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kethry> Leida, you're more than a trend now
<Leida> what am i now? what can there possibly be above a trend?
<Sensai-Sakiya> god? immortal? person worshiped by all?
<Leida> you are all worshipping me?
<Ibaimendi> I never realized the line between abuse and worship was so thin.
#28994 (4/284) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Aokromes> what HOTTT
<Aokromes> 102 �F / 39 �C
<[Piratez]> no idea what temp it is outside here
<[Piratez]> but it aint hot
<[Piratez]> no chicks are out
#30409 (209/373) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<twohitcombo> i finally replaced my gay wireless keyboard that had a laptop style key layout with no keypad
<twohitcombo> and i bought one of those logitech ones with a hojillion buttons that dont work without the drivers
<twohitcombo> but evidently it has a 'fuck everything up' button that works fine with out them
#11214 (29/217) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Meat_PoPs> what a guy, jumps all over you then falls asleep
* Meat_PoPs shakes his head
<Mog> thats what most men would do
<Meat_PoPs> hehe
<Mog> pretend to fall asleep, plus women have a naturaly built in pillow for us
<Coan_Arcanius> hehe
<Meat_PoPs> mmm they are cushy
#20073 (257/437) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Calculus> Ah...a dark room, approximately 25 computers, Debian ISOs for six platforms, and two hundred and four CD-Rs.  It's going to be a wiiiild night.
<DamienRoc> Only you would consider that a wild night, Calc.
<Mechalink> Not only Calc.
<Calculus> DR: You'd be *amazed* at what happens if you grind up TDK CD-Rs and sniff them.
<DamienRoc> You get fiberglass in your lungs and lose 10 years to your life?
<Calculus> Well, that too...
#27889 (328/470) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ParadoX> lol my friend just said he stole a bong from this guys house, but from how he described it, it's a penis pump
<ParadoX> he said he put his mouth to it, and it smelled funny
<ParadoX> HAHAHA
<Phucker> Owned.
#30518 (548/684) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kristy> i remember new years eve, 2000, everyone had their computers off because they were afraid they would blow up cause of y2k, and my boyfriend was begging me to have sex with him. and i was like "look at my ping! i am not going to get a 70 ping any other night! go watch tv and stop interrupting my tribes!!"
#307553 (211/265) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@hackess> I keep losing my tea
<@Novice> hackess: That sounds like the English version of losing one's shit
#7883 (192/352) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<djrm> Q what is the penalty for exceeding your space quota?
<Alaric> death by pineapple
<djrm> ooo err
#8590 (28/262) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<mrempire> humm
<mrempire> -7% burning an iso here
<mathew2> now we know why you work for PC World.
#7962 (6/235) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ICIST> I get that warm and fuzzy feeling
<@Deth> like when you pee your pants?
<ICIST> kinda
<ICIST> more like when i shit myself
#33242 (7/249) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<wild-> Rosie weds longtime girlfriend, slams Bush
<repp0r> ...
<repp0r> :x
<splice> yeah you and rosie make great allies
<repp0r> I had to read that twice to get the joke.
<repp0r> I was actually going to make the joke, but then I realized it had already been done.
<repp0r> wild, in all his CTRL+V greatness, is quite crafty.
Comment: #ramen on EFNet
#658 (152/349) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MrSpey> Everyone needs pr0n. In fact, I think the amount of pr0n people have is limited by their free time, connection speed, and storage space. Not desire.
#28353 (272/426) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pL1> atomic clocks are for wussies... i use the sun to tell the time...
<Blaxthos> sun doesn't sync well
<Blaxthos> with the 8 minute lag and all
#42637 (124/314) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Hay> OMG today in biology
<Hay> i was looking through my biology book
<Hay> and it had a BIG picture of 2 Blue Footed Boobies (birds)
<Hay> and i showed the teacher and said "Aren't those a nice pair of boobies?"
#821 (8/294) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<LordTalon> My circumsicion scar seems to be bleeding, what should I do?
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