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#304009* (?/5) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
***DoucheEnrique rolls 2 6-sided dice: 1 3
Mathii: 6 sided dice?
Mathii: o.o
DoucheEnrique: yes
Mathii: didn't know those existed
DoucheEnrique: err
Yellowchopsticks: um
DoucheEnrique: lol
Vulpes: ...
Yellowchopsticks: are you serious?
Mathii: seen'em in those dungeons and dragons flash and what not
Vulpes: Sometimes I just want to cry. |
#304008* (?/9) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
(@Sneakthief) This is your flight crew speaking, we'll be experiencing some mild turbulence, as the captain feels the need to practice barrel rolls. Please fasten your seatbelts, store your children in the overhead locker, and have a nice day. |
#304007* (?/14) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Sabriel> 20-25 guys in a room
<Sabriel> with me
<Sabriel> just totally spikes my hormones man
<Sabriel> and that is NOT meant to sound wrong
<Mindlessmaniac> and suddenly makes you talk like a dude
<Sabriel> no, I actually do sorta talk like this sometimes
<Sabriel> with the guys
<Mindlessmaniac> yeah
<Mindlessmaniac> You're becoming a guy
<Sabriel> dammit man!
<Mindlessmaniac> an extremely feminine, gay guy
<Sabriel> haha
<Sabriel> omg look at those flowers dude!
<Mindlessmaniac> ...
<Knight> ...
<Knight> I don't think a gay guy would say dude
<Sabriel> man?
<Mindlessmaniac> So she's more masculine than some gay guysComment: #wolf on irc.esper.net
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#304006* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
Danny: Have you heard Microsoft's new Windows line?
Danny: "Windows. life without walls."
Danny: Damn right. All kinds of shit can just walk into your house whenever it damn well pleases. |
#304004* (?/9) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
* +Emperor_Nick shudders
<+Emperor_Nick> During the inquisition, a lot of my tentacle monster brothers lost perfectly good tentacles that way
<+Emperor_Nick> Mostly the gay ones. The church didn't mind so much the heterosexual tentacle raep
<+Emperor_Nick> But no use of the poop shute? How were we supposed to abide by that
<+Emperor_Nick> I've got like, fifty tentacles on a bad day. They can't ALL go into just two orifices
<+Emperor_Nick> Try as I might.
<+Emperor_Nick> That's why you don't hear about a lot of gay tentacle monsters
<+Emperor_Nick> Not enough orifices to work with |
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#304003* (?/14) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
< EvilWalrus> penis isn't a bad word.
< EvilWalrus> cock is.
< Evil_Otto> it's all about context
< EvilWalrus> I mean, if i say "My cock is huge"... In my personal context, I could be referring to the rooster that lives 2 doors down.
< NoiseEee> or still asleep and dreaming, EvilWalrusComment: #phpc @ freenode
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#304002* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<&Nitrogen> I want to take a glass of milk into church when they are having communion
<&Nitrogen> "GUESS WHAT PART OF JESUS THIS WAS!!!???" |
#304001* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
Liam: Are you familiar with Cleverbot?
Scaramouche: Yes.
Scaramouche: She's fun.
Liam: I have two instances of cleverbot talking to each other.
Liam: Although a lot of what they're saying is quite dadaistic
Liam: -Why are all your family and friends working?
-We are not.
-Yes you are.
-Why do you think so?
-Because your math skills are horrible. 198 minus 7 is 191.
-My marbles are right where I need them. Under the feet of my enemies...
Liam: -I have no marshmallows. |
#304000* (?/31) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
< dotequals> Oh my god guys.
< dotequals> I forgot to tell y'all.
< dotequals> This new guy at work says that his friend's mom was new to the Internet, and somehow got the impression that "lol" meant "lots of love".
< dotequals> So one of the first IM conversations she had went:
< dotequals> friend's mom: I was so sorry to hear that your dad died, lol. |
#303999* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Pryoidain> I want a PDP-11 with 10 acoustic couplers
<Pryoidain> 10 stolen phone lines
<Pryoidain> and 2-3 gallons of coffee
<asaph> a scarier cluster of words has yet to be uttered at 2AM. |
#303998* (?/21) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Arlight> Last night was occupied, for me and a couple friends, with playing Diablo II over LAN - every time one of us used a town portal, we all had to drink (had a couple tallboys each of Steel Reserve). Was a good time.
<Jeff|Laptop> dude, you turned diablo 2 into a drinking game!
<Jeff|Laptop> i gotta dig out my discs and install again
<Arlight> Fuck yeah we did.
<Arlight> Halfway through, we added in an 'everyone drinks when someone levels' clause, too.
<Arlight> We had a barbarian named "HUR_DUR", a sorceress named "Tipper", and a warwilf by the name of "Doggles_Micgee".
<Jeff|Laptop> lmao @ HUR_DUR
<Arq> HURF DURF
<Arlight> It was great - we'd use his TP and read off the name - "TOWN PORTAL TO CLAW VIPER TEMPLE, HURRRR DURRRRR" |
#303997* (?/22) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
(@Intergage) My boss comes in.
(@Intergage) And goes "I was just talking to a client and they don't even know what the diff between creditor and debtor is."
(@Intergage) I'm like, "How the fuck are they functioning?"
(@Intergage) Her reply, "Fucks me, stupid niggers"
(@Intergage) Quoted.
(@GENLOL) ROFLMAO!
(@GENLOL) Shit, I just spat noodles onto a motherboard.... |
#303996* (?/14) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<AnnoyedHatter> I have an old, analog Chinese propaganda watch with a picture of Mao Zedong for its background.
<AnnoyedHatter> Whenever I wind it up I like to say, "Your time has come again, comrade!" |
#303995* (?/10) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<@just_bean> MIHB Wahaha starblinky Misacorp Aslai cyclone Super_Luigi
<+cyclone> just_bean: ?
<@just_bean> what?
<+Aslai> ?
<+cyclone> What did you want?
<&MIHB> he wants to wake us from our hibernation
<&MIHB> now we rise, filled with vengeance and wrathful anger |
#303994* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
< MyPetGoat> oed is the One True Dictionary.
< MyPetGoat> I am a somewhat biased source, perhaps, having once been an
American usage Consultant for the Oxford University Press.
< Lint> fo shizzle? |
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#303993* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Octopussy> i need to do something about this irc font
<&Shark> make it comic sans
<Octopussy> it looks all weirdy without fixed width
<Octopussy> yes, i should try comic sans first
<Octopussy> now everyone looks like an idiot
<Octopussy> i'll keep comic sans for a while |
#303992* (?/8) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<+tylerknowsthis> feach as someone who's been smoking hard for more than a decade I have to say I am very impressed with JWH-018
<+mabus> smoking hard what?
<+kinetic> poles |
#303990* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<TheTJ> Have you ever been in a creepy place, like a school at night or an abondoned house, when the lights go out?
<TheTJ> Sometimes you might think you're in a horror movie and about to die/be killed.
<TheTJ> That occasionally happens to me
<TheTJ> My response?
<TheTJ> I sing heavily copyrighted songs so that whatever movie I may or may not be in couldn't afford my death scene |
#303989* (?/5) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<MurderMachine> Okay so,
<MurderMachine> My resits so far
<MurderMachine> Have been interesting.
<Magnus> orly
<MurderMachine> Yes.
<MurderMachine> I had a question about yeast and part of it was to list why it can be bad for humans.
<MurderMachine> To start with, I rambled on about yeast infections, thrush, etc., but then I really wanted more.
<MurderMachine> So I wracked my brains and wrote, I shit you not:
<MurderMachine> "Well, if you think about it, yeast indirectly contributes to alcohol abuse. Alcoholism, and therefore yeast, destroys lives."
<MurderMachine> Even if they don't see the funny side, it's a valid point. |
#303988* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<g0m> I think they made one for PSX
<Tappipappa> what was it called again?
<g0m> Harmony of dark shadows: Dracula?
<@DragonFogel> Symphony of the Night.
<g0m> I was close. |
#303987* (?/17) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<FatherTime> Would it be a really bad idea if I mixed 4 5900 RPM drives and 2 5400 RPM drives?
<Sabriel> yes
<Sabriel> the world would explode
<Sabriel> we would all die
<FatherTime> brb. Buying the drives then. |
#303986* (?/20) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Sebas> Speaking of terrible and complaining, I celebrated my first time on the wii in about a year and a half by heavily and painfully crushing my thumb between the wiimote and the couch.
<Digga> how does that even happen
<Sebas> Stupidly.
<Logopolis> You silly dutch.
<Sebas> I went "This bowling is too easy, I shall do it with my back towards the TV and my eyes closed and at a distance."
<Sebas> The rest, as they say, is history.
<Sebas> I did throw a strike though, further proving my initial point. |
#303985* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<Xer> Heavy Rain is an annoying game to play
<Xer> It's very unnatural to do anything.
<@RyoW> hard to read the prompts when they float around like dicks
<@Nak> 'float around like dicks'? That is a terrible simile, Ryo.
<@RyoW> wasn't a simile
<@RyoW> I was insulting the icons
<@RyoW> not comparing them to the floating technique of the majestic dick |
#303984* (?/24) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<RuneCaster> Wait what
<RuneCaster> Hardee’s Loaded Biscuit and Gravy with Large Hash Rounds
<RuneCaster> 1,530 calories
<RuneCaster> 110 g fat (26 g saturated)
<RuneCaster> Isn't that bordering on lethal somehow
<RuneCaster> and that's breakfast?
<RuneCaster> Holy shit
<Clipsy> hey, doctors have been telling us to eat 8 cups of lard per day for YEARS
<RuneCaster> COnsidering your health system thats unsurprising. Anything they can do to prolong your suffering that doesn't have a one time cure is $
<Clipsy> yeah they really need to legalize assisted suicide
<Clipsy> for fat people
<RuneCaster> You just need a small island, full of small to medium sized game. Where they are deposited with nothing except a sharp stick, a lighter and a bag of charcoal. They'll lose it fast enough.
<Clipsy> man
<Clipsy> add in some rum and I'll be on the first flight
<RuneCaster> haha
<RuneCaster> Alone on an island full of desperate fat chicks with low self esteem and alcohol. They'll be thin enough after a few weeks. Clever.
<Clipsy> I was thinking "alone on an island with alcohol", but yeah, that's a good point too |
#303980* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It πOld
<+Fallingwater> here's a question for you: the ubuntu people release a new version every six months, right? so, what happens when in six years they run out of letters?
<+Fallingwater> next is Maverick Meerkat, or something
<@lucidfox> Fallingwater> I presume they'll restart with A
<+Eggie> They start picking up kanji and Greek characters.
<+Fallingwater> or hex...
<+Fallingwater> AAppetizing AArdvark
<+Fallingwater> ABstract ABsinthe (ok now I'm just putting random words together)
<+Hazuki> is the 11.04 going to be Nerdy Negro and have Urkel on the front?Comment: #tropers on irc.esper.net
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