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#307397* (?/40) πOld
<Mune> .......Valentines day is the 14th of February.....
<Mune> ...EXACTLY 9 months before my birthday...
<Mune> o.o
<Mune> ...Oh god no...
* @HumanNoMore hands Mune a bottle of brain bleach
#307550* (?/51) πOld
<Orochi> hmm, found more odd coins
<Orochi> I'm beginning to wonder if I have another personality that travels the world though
<Orochi> I found the following cleaning up: Various Canadian coins, british pence, yen, czech fiat, mexican dollars, various bahrain coins, etc
<Turaiel> ..how do you even have those? xD
<Orochi> ...if I really knew how to answer this I would. I am honest in saying "I have no fucking clue"
<Orochi> sweet dude
<Orochi> I have a fragmented personality, and clearly the other one is James Bond
<Orochi> :D
<Orochi> thats my story and I'm sticking too it o.o
<Orochi> the czech fiat is particularly vexing. The only time I've left the continent was to go to hawaii O_o
<Orochi> the yen too actually, and the pence
<Orochi> if I start finding rupels and other shit, I'm going to start duct taping my werewolf ass to the bed at night
#307731* (?/15) πOld
<Amadiro> RumpledElf, according to that definition, my markov-chain based chatbot spouting random phrases combined from previous messages it recollects from its database is probably more sentient than most actual human IRC users.
<Amadiro> aib, it usually ended up pretty much just spouting out sentences it heard previously to other people at a later point. Additionally I ran some simple regexpes over the output.
<Amadiro> That caused some hilarious conversations like the bot arguing with some guy whether it's "slipknot" or "slipgnot" (replaced all k's with g's)
<Amadiro> aib, we also fed it the bible, all 7 harry potter books, various pornographic novels and Karl Marx' "Das Kapital" later on, with brilliant results.
<aib> add a Hitler biography and you've got an Internet discussion generator
Comment: ##programming@irc.freenode.net
#307521* (?/60) πOld
<UmlautBanana> do we have a y/n bot in here
<SeriousBot> n
<UmlautBanana> okay
<UmlautBanana> ...wait what
#307581* (?/44) πOld
<Stormgren> righto
<Stormgren> On another note, I just pranked the CIO
<Stormgren> I have the schematics for a hallicrafters s-86 here on my desk
<Stormgren> it's a vacuum tube radio from the early 60s
<Stormgren> Going over it at lunch to refresh my brain on it.
<Stormgren> CIO walks by..."Are those vacuum tube symbols????"  "Yeah, it's part of a new router we're buying."
<Stormgren> For a second, I think he thought I was serious, the expression on his face as he sorted it out in his brain was priceless.
<myself248> nice!
<myself248> A series of...
<myself248> ...tubes?
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#307145* (?/42) πOld
<starsrift> This won't end well.
<starsrift> Laying in bed with a laptop, a sharp knife, a cat, and a juicy orange.
<postlogic> Sounds like quite the evening.
<Svetlana> jesus, man
<Svetlana> most people just use their hand
#307348* (?/40) πOld
<mr_daemon> I can hear my roomba trashing the living room
<mr_daemon> The sensors are a bit clogged
<mr_daemon> So it's not as accurate as before at detecting obstacles
<mr_daemon> normally it slows down and gently bumps into things to confirm
<mr_daemon> but somehow that "slow down" sensor is clogged by dust or whatever, and it just violently rams itself into everything
<mr_daemon> it is hilarious to hear
Comment: sequel to #300807
#306842* (?/39) πOld
<rakaur> i had a guy follow me home from eastgate once
<rakaur> and it was really my bad
<rakaur> i pulled out like, right into him
<rakaur> and i didn't seem him at all
<rakaur> i don't think he had his lights on
<rakaur> and it was dark
<rakaur> i heard the tires squeel
<rakaur> i looked up
<rakaur> and then saw his lights
<rakaur> and i was like "oh jesus"
<rakaur> and i slowed down
<rakaur> and waited to see if he was going to get out or something
<rakaur> and i tried to gesture "i'm sorry" to him
<rakaur> but he followed me all the way home
<rakaur> and pulled up behind me and ran up to my door
<rakaur> and i got out
<rakaur> and as i stood up i was like... a foot and a half taller than this guy
<rakaur> he turned around without saying a word, got back in his car, and drove off
#306720* (?/24) πOld
<Stormgren> Aha!
<Stormgren> I have found a use for nyan cat!
<Stormgren> Someone talking on the phone right outside my cube who wouldn't take the call somewhere else just got an earful of that.
#307516* (?/50) πOld
<+Polynomial> there's a weight loss clinic on my way to work called Beacon
<+Polynomial> someone spray painted over the 'e' so it reads "B acon" instead
<slc> haha awesome
<+Polynomial> not only that, but they did it on the slogan too...
<+Polynomial> "Lose weight fast with B acon!"
<slc> rofl
<slc> whoever did that needs an invitation to the league of internet superheroes
#307357* (?/47) πOld
<&Zera> Oh jesus.. I need to turn off the network share monitor on zerver/glasnftp. *ring ring* "Hey, me (mom's bf) and your mom's gonna watch a movie on the big screen up here. What's the logon password for the server again?". *20 minutes later and checking share activity* "Amateur.Anal.Attempts.15.xxx.dvdrip"
<&Zera> :(
<&Zera> I did not need to know this
#307372* (?/34) πOld
<namad8> theres some shelves at FLOOR level, who puts a shelf half an inch off the ground? i could just place things on the ground and stop stubbing my toe/be easier to move the desk
<namad8> i guess since i assembled it myself from ikea parts i could always take it apart and remove some shelves, but i worry some of them are load bearing and effect the strength of the rest of the normal desk parts
<G-Flex> namad8: it's ikea, that stuff is totally modular. You can literally take off the bottom parts and it'll continue floating in midair
#306826* (?/32) πOld
<Joh> So I was down the hospital the other day getting some routine tests done.
<George> Right?
<Joh> And this smoking hot nurse comes in, so I say "You must be why there are sexy nurse outfits".
<George> Ha! I can see this not turning out well. What happened?
<Joh> Well to say the least, don't piss off whoever decides how your temperature is taken.
#307519* (?/43) πOld
<Fax> have to say that's the first time I've had a guy get pissed that I'm *not* banging his daughter
#307190* (?/31) πOld
<vz> I just got a conference ticket!
<shanem_> vz: What for?
<vz> conference, not sure precisely what
<vz> going there on Thursday
<vz> about IT infrastructure basically
<andreasr_> so you dont know what conference you're going to and you have tickets?
<vz> andreasr_: 250 euro worth ticket!
<shanem_> vz: So what are you going there for?
<vz> shanem_: free food and alcohol
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#306891* (?/40) πOld
<Antimatter> scientists have managed to induce a "rejuvenation effect" in old mice by injecting them with blood from young mice.
<Antimatter> you know what this means!
<gumby_jd> Yes. The rich will turn into vampires as they get older and feed on the masses.
#306719* (?/39) πOld
<zenmower> man i pulled a muscle in my fucking leg
<Lefty> is that the one between your regular legs?
#306964* (?/38) πOld
<+taras> my take on the world has improved since Firefox started giving me The Onion instead of BBC News when i type 'news' in the address barComment: #bitfolk
#306853* (?/38) πOld
<PinkiePie> "There is a slight possibility that we may experience wind and rain on par with what Florida gets pretty much every summer. Evacuate immediately."
<gloomp> just like florida freaks the fuck out if there's 3 inches of snow
<PinkiePie> Dude, I don't think we've /ever/ gotten 3 inches of snow.
<PinkiePie> You do have a point, though:
<PinkiePie> one time we got a small layer of frost one morning, and school was cancelled.
#307376* (?/38) πOld
<Drakar> I am just so confused
<Drakar> What do I feel
<Drakar> but maybe that's what I want
<Drakar> I want to be confused with her.
<Rahid> I'd advise to wait untill you stabilize.
<Rahid> Cause
<Rahid> Do you know what happens to pokemon when they try to attack while they are in confusion?
<Rahid> They hurt themselves, bro. They hurt themselves
#307714* (?/28) πOld
<Rose> A friend told me about how Papa John's has a Christian slant like Chick Fil A and I had never heard of them having such a thing.
<Rose> So I order Papa John's tonight.
<Rose> THE PIZZA GUY INVITES ME TO CHURCH.
#302477* (?/5) πOld
< Glayde|w> i remember telling a friend 'you have to register your nickname'
< Glayde|w> the next day he tells me how he registered mirc
#306961* (?/47) πOld
<@Malice> My boss cut my hours because I killed him in RuneScape.
#307409* (?/47) πOld
<NightMare> hey, how do I define a label in visual C ?
<FreaKWell> use this
<NightMare> this what?
<FreaKWell> this ->
<NightMare> THIS WHAT?!
<FreaKWell> this->label1;
<NightMare> I am already using label1; but it keeps telling me it's not defined!!!
<FreaKWell> Quit programming.
#306759* (?/37) πOld
< kuzew> god damn it, the side of my head keeps pulsing
< tonyb486> It's not supposed to do that
< kuzew> last I checked, no
< tonyb486> You should probably do something about that
< kuzew> but what?
< tonyb486> I dunno, you're the one with the huge, pulsating brain
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