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AllBestWeekMonthRandom123456..9Next> |
#303607* (?/18) πOld
<dat_dam> Aren't you supposed to be at work?
<braddock> someone called in a bomb threat today. everyone in the office had to be cleared out so we got the day off.
<dat_dam> wtf
<braddock> we think we all know who did it, but we're not saying anything because now we all get a long weekend. |
#303469* (?/48) πOld
< ME-tan> had a fun day the other day
* tjon dances with inline4chan
< ME-tan> I was working in central London again, in a building that is shared with several companies
< inline4chan> ME-Tan that sounds like a clusterfuck
< ME-tan> The fire alarm went off
< ME-tan> We all leave and crowd around outside. The fire marshals are supposed to hold up a sign with the company logo on it so we all go there, however ours forgot to bring it
< inline4chan> did he run back in to get it?
< ME-tan> I grabbed my netbook on the way out so I plug it into my G1 and google image search for the company logo, and hold the netbook above my head
< inline4chan> lol
< ME-tan> Our people had a good laugh but it worked a treat
< ME-tan> The thing was, There was another bunch that was eyeing me funny
< ME-tan> On the way back in i realised
< ME-tan> We share our building with Microsoft, and I'm sitting there holding an Ubuntu netbook above my head, plugged into a linux phone...
< inline4chan> lol |
#303443* (?/72) πOld
<dmcaloon> I made a militant vegan cry once, after she called me a murderer for ordering meat
<dmcaloon> She calls me a horrible person, so I say "Listen lady, human beings are omnivores, specially adapted to hunting. I have binocular vision and sharp teeth, any biologist will tell you that means I'm a predator, so cool it."
<dmcaloon> She says "You mean you're a murderer" and gives me this "oh I got you now" look.
<dmcaloon> "Do you grow your own food? No, I didn't think you did. How many rabbits, field mice, voles, and other small woodland creatures do you think die every year in grain harvests, huh? How many super-soft clutches of baby rabbits starved to death because their mother was chewed up in an alfalfa combine? These animals aren't humanely killed with a spike through the brain stem like my burgers were, they were torn limb from limb in a harvesting machine,
<dmcaloon> then left bleeding to death in a field. If they were lucky, they bled to death before the crows came down and began eating their organs. I least we eat the animals we kill, murderer!"
<dmcaloon> Exit: Hippie woman, crying. |
#303316* (?/21) πOld
<@Miko> Gah, Wednesday? How the fuck is it Wednesday already?
< Shad0w> how the fuck is it quarter past one in the afternoon?
< KittyNoy> I heard it on the news recently, time moves forwards now.
< KittyNoy> At about a rate of 60 seconds a minute.
<@Stray> shit that's fast
< KittyNoy> I think there's a Facebook group that tries to change that.
< KittyNoy> I mean, statistically, there's got to be one... |
#303601* (?/35) πOld
<HanSorbo> Oh shit, you will not believe this story.
<HanSorbo> My lesbian cat just saved my life, and got me laid.
<Rexx> hopefully those acts were mutually exclusive
<@Amigod> Have you been trolling the lolcats channels again?
<HanSorbo> Oh for fucks sake, no. I was having a bowl in my living room when I get a knock. I stash my stuff and I've got the fan on so I figure no biggie.
<HanSorbo> I answer the door and say "Good evening officer."
<HanSorbo> Lady cop takes one look at me and one look at my living room and invites herself inside. Well I figured I was pretty much screwed. But I've barely got anything, it'll probably be just a ticket, so I try to play it cool.
<HanSorbo> Lady cop asks me what I've been doing tonight. I reply "Just hanging out..Me and the cat..." whom had just gotten a healthy dose of catnip.
<HanSorbo> Lady cop goes, "Daw! Kitty!" as my kitten comes bounding into the room, straight for her.
<HanSorbo> Side note: My cat loves women. She is all over every girl that has ever been in my place. Doesnt much care for guys. So I say to lady cop, as my kitten is demolishing her hand with kitten love...
<HanSorbo> "Wow, thats really unusually. She uh...Doesnt care for women much. You must be something special." *cough*
<HanSorbo> She stands up and pulls out her notepad thing and takes something out. Says "Dont be stupid. Your neighbors called you in. Consider this your one get out of jail free card."
<HanSorbo> She hands me her card. "And if you ever want to spend an evening not breaking the law, my cell is on the bottom." Jaw. Floored.
<@Amigod> You absolute asshole
<Rexx> how in gods name do you know how to spend a night without breaking the law
<Taro> Are you sure you dont have to pay for that night? Cause I'm pretty sure thats still breaking the law |
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Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
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#303304* (?/51) πOld
<+Vlarghox> Twilight's like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand. |
#303421* (?/65) πOld
<boikpark> The guy was found dead in his apartment with his penis in a jar of peanut butter, apparently.
<Sohcahtoa> Well it sounds like that guy...
* Sohcahtoa puts on his sunglasses
<Sohcahtoa> ...was fucking nuts.
<Sohcahtoa> YYYYEEEAAAAAHHHHH |
#303402* (?/47) πOld
LG: My bro left his phone at my house last night
LG: so... I just tried to call him to tell him
LG: I tried to call his cell with mine. when his was in MY OTHER HAND
BadSpoon: did you answer?
LG: no.
LG: I'm pretty retarded.
LG: But I have a little dignity. |
#303436* (?/32) πOld
* aqualis does science to Deltantor
=-= Deltantor is now known as rotnatleD
<ronatleD> !tuo edinsi em denrut uoy
* aqualis gazes upon his creation with disgust and horrorComment: irc.foonetic.net #xkcd
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#303389* (?/30) πOld
<adronscyther> Also, why is Phoenix Wright so darn cool? It's a game about a friggin defense attorney in a mockery of the court system. It doesn't make sense.
<BlackSaber08> With games about law, it's all in the execution
<DiegoZeyon> YEEEEEAAAH!
<adronscyther> -__- |
#303444* (?/30) πOld
Tomsik: JordiGH: when were facing difficult problems for too long we lose a sight for simple things :p
Tomsik: Like there was this seminar about some difficult subject and it was all phds there
Tomsik: and in one moment it all stopped
Tomsik: "how the hell did you multiply a matrix"
Tomsik: and they had to look it up on wikipediaComment: #not-math on FreeNode
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#303432* (?/42) πOld
<Theorevery> Here comes the world cup final D:
<%jdstroy|rizonbnc> 2teams1cup |
#303465* (?/36) πOld
Sarah: I swear
Sarah: I'm like... a walking linux reference
Sarah: or something
Kristian: so you only can get used by a small number of extremely geeky guys the world-over
Kristian: consider yourself lucky
Kristian: most girls can get used by just about anyone
Sarah: ..... |
#303426* (?/23) πOld
<btg101> i spend half my day fixing the shit i wrote at night without thinking
<btgt101> and the other half writing the shit im gonna fix tomorrow |
#303425* (?/34) πOld
<ais523> meh, I've been so busy in RL recently I've hardly been sleeping at all
<Quashie> I heard the monthly fees on RL are atrocious
<Quashie> like, they charge you $25 a month just to activate the chat feature
<Quashie> otherwise you can only chat with people in your immediate vicinity
<ais523> Quashie: I just tunnel over IRC or email
<Quashie> yeah, they charge you for this "internet" sub-game
<Quashie> it's ridiculous
<Quashie> it's claimed to be free
<Quashie> but then to access any of the content besides the basic game of walking around you need to pay fees
<AstralStorm> Quashie, actually, it's not free
<AstralStorm> if you don't pay, you die of hunger, or thirst, or both
<AstralStorm> unless you play as a rogue
<kerio> ais523: it's nice that you can actually run one of those services
<kerio> and the game world is permanent
<AstralStorm> oh, and it's immense too
<Quashie> magic is totally nerfed though
<AstralStorm> probably magic is planned for some future expansion pack |
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#303468* (?/39) πOld
<Mike> Man. That's awesome.
<Mike> Am over at that new 'za place and they have this cute chick at cash wearing a vintage tmnt tee shirt
<Mike> Complemented her on it and got into a convo about 90s cartoons and how all the new stuff sucks
<Mike> And she looks hawt in short shorts
<Edmond> me gusta.
<Mike> Heh
<Mike> She keeps looking at me too
<Edmond> point towards your dick and ask if she wants to ride R2 all the way to dagobah
<Mike> I almost made a mess with my 7up in the restaurant
<Mike> Thanks Ed
<Edmond> no problem
<Edmond> I'm here all day |
#303341* (?/27) πOld
<jasmyn> so i was eating peanuts today
<jasmyn> from like a shell
<jasmyn> and i open up one of the shells
<jasmyn> and a pistachio came out
<AristocraticRose> o.o
<AristocraticRose> wow
<jasmyn> i was just as suprised |
#303466* (?/26) πOld
<Sabriel> wow... a disney night with girls seems... like a nightmare
<Sabriel> my idea of prince charming is, a good looking geek
<KamikaziNinja> Sabriel: you are more of a fat 20 year old man than some fat 20 year old men in this channel. I dont know why you think your opinion on girl matters counts. :P
<KamikaziNinja> you run lan parties, you program
<KamikaziNinja> you arent a girly girl woman
<Sabriel> I got a frilly shirt the other day...
<KamikaziNinja> that is almost a proof in point, the fact you bought a single shirt and you think thats enough to regain your status
<KamikaziNinja> come back to me when you spend $300 on a shopping spree
<Sabriel> I did
<Sabriel> well
<Sabriel> maybe like $200
<KamikaziNinja> a $300 on CLOTHES AND SHOES ONLY
<KamikaziNinja> you cant get like
<KamikaziNinja> a frilly shirt
<KamikaziNinja> and mass effect
<Sabriel> no, they were all clothes
<Sabriel> I think I got like... 6 nice blouses
<Sabriel> and a pair of pants
<Sabriel> and a hat
<Sabriel> maybe I got 7 shirts..
<Sabriel> I can't remember
<KamikaziNinja> you cant remember
<KamikaziNinja> so not girly girl
<KamikaziNinja> if a girly girl would be able to tell me the number of shirts
<Sabriel> I went to several department stores!
<KamikaziNinja> the designer of each shirt
<KamikaziNinja> the colors
<KamikaziNinja> the makers
<KamikaziNinja> the exact price
<KamikaziNinja> down to the cents
<KamikaziNinja> how big of a sale they were on
<KamikaziNinja> what stores they came from
<IUJ|Lappy> Sabriel
<IUJ|Lappy> I'm sorry but I think you can't really defend this
<IUJ|Lappy> your BEING ON 80h
<IUJ|Lappy> disqualifies you
<IUJ|Lappy> in ITSELFComment: #80h on irc.80h.org
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#303606* (?/17) πOld
Xen: <tear rolls down cheek> It's truly Blizzard's Starcraft II... After install it already needs a patch.Comment: SC2 release date
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#303600* (?/20) πOld
<@otako> M07w: no one's ever here
<+M07w> of course, this is IRC not some sort of chat network |
#303354* (?/46) πOld
<Jilt> what language do gnomes speak o_O
<Jilt> gnomish?
<Captain_Zeros> it gave me common and elvis
<Jilt> you speak in elvis?
<sney> uh-huh, thankyouverymuch |
#303327* (?/23) πOld
Jason Arias: I hate using Armor All wipes on my car's emergency brake.
Jason Arias: It feels like I'm giving my car a handjob. |
#303362* (?/27) πOld
CamGuyAloneHot: who wants a three some
Sraah: your left hand
Sraah: and
Sraah: your right hand |
#303461* (?/22) πOld
<LichTheMan> I want to make this program for the windows OS, that would allow to you download files and watch videos.
<nanotube> LichTheMan: that's a browser.Comment: #sourceforge on Freenode
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#303621* (?/5) πOld
TheBeaul: AUUUUUUUGH
TheBeaul: WHAT
TheBeaul: WHY
Scaramouche: ?!
TheBeaul: I was roleplaying with a guy who was playing a blind character
TheBeaul: My character is completely tactless
TheBeaul: Blind jokes were made.
TheBeaul: YOU WOULD THINK THIS WOULD BE OKAY BECAUSE BLIND PEOPLE DON'T PLAY ONLINE TEXT-BASED GAMES, WOULDN'T YOU?!
Scaramouche: TEXT-TO-SPEECH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT
TheBeaul: I HAVE NEVER MET A BLIND PERSON ON THE INTERNET BEFORE
TheBeaul: AUUUUUGH
Scaramouche: oh god this is hilarious.
TheBeaul: auuuuugh
TheBeaul: 'I was okay until you went on about smelling pixels'
TheBeaul: He was hinting at it but I thought it was a JOKE!
Scaramouche: FAILZ.
TheBeaul: DDDDD: |
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