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#307608 (210/274) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Lawrence yawns. "Napping then poker tonight."
<runrunner> fap poker
<Fritz> Fapoker
<&Ashilstraza|Raveness> how does one play fap poker?
<runrunner> kind of like strip poker
<Fritz> If you have a good hand, you win |
#307592 (155/193) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<flotwig> non-computer people ask what you like to do
<flotwig> just say "oh, i'm in the php scene"
<flotwig> they'll think you're doing drugs or some shit
<arpad> "poor guy, he can't even spell pcp" |
#307591 (101/147) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sloofus> I like to sit on campus and repeatedly boot up irssi when people walk by so it looks like im doing some wicked hax n shit |
#307586 (157/241) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<doctor_pork> D'
<hollyfax> you began to cry
<hollyfax> but both your eyes disappeared
<hollyfax> or
<hollyfax> asian pirate
<doctor_pork> was that a haiku |
#307584 (127/179) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SightUnseen> last time i had a dream was the beginning of last year. i dreamed about waking up, eating breakfast, and going to school. then my alarm went off and i woke up, ate breakfast, and went to school. i must have the creativity of a tree stump. :P |
#307576 (124/186) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< CoJaBo> E.g., just because you ask for a JPEG, doesn't mean the user won't find a way submit a ZIP containing the complete and unabridged works of Beatoven in MP3 format :P (and yes, that really happened)
< s3a> lol
< Visage> CoJaBo, Beatoven? Good god, man.
< Visage> Beethoven.
< Visage> Unless there's an artist named Beatoven out there that I don't know about. :)
< CoJaBo> No, Beat-Oven. Its the local band I now intend to form just to spite you.
< CoJaBo> :P
< Visage> You spite me every day with your horrible typing. |
#307568 (147/209) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< emilevictor> .... why? I don't understand. If i create the pointer x, initialize it to 0, wouldn't *x be 0?
< ciaranm> emilevictor: the pointer points to the address 0. "*x" is the value stored at address 0, which is probably "segmentation fault" |
#307555 (178/214) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Sarig: problem with satelites is ping
Sarig: You don't know what lightspeed is until you try to game over a geostationary satelite |
#307553 (213/267) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@hackess> I keep losing my tea
<@Novice> hackess: That sounds like the English version of losing one's shit |
#307161 (164/204) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jwgoerlich> As an aside, I get concerned when my wife says "let me set the mood with music" ...
<jwgoerlich> And then proceeds to play the Impossible Mission theme song. |
#306336 (88/142) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* evelyn has joined #8bitpeoples
<evelyn> sometimes i can only communicate in terms of the pushing and popping of stacks
<evelyn> very tragic for my family and friends
* evelyn has quit IRC (Quit: )
<ook> hey
<ook> dammit
<ook> i wanted to like
<ook> get her number or something |
#305511 (121/205) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<thelilnevshow> DAAMMN RIGHT PROUD TO BE CANADIAN! im so canadian even my blood cells are red and white ! |
#303354 (120/194) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jilt> what language do gnomes speak o_O
<Jilt> gnomish?
<Captain_Zeros> it gave me common and elvis
<Jilt> you speak in elvis?
<sney> uh-huh, thankyouverymuch |
#302359 (128/204) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<st0rmb0x> I had an ass cannon moment
<Ka1enov> LOL
<st0rmb0x> You know when you're on the shitter and you just fart but you don't realise you shat 12 feet of shit in half a second
<Ka1enov> yeah man
<Ka1enov> and then when you wipe
<Ka1enov> theres nothing
<Ka1enov> youre are like what the fuck
<st0rmb0x> lol, yeah man, these things are deadly, what if you were to shit down a balcony, i bet you'd be able to break car windshields
<st0rmb0x> Or snipe someone with a turd
<Ka1enov> and walk away with no evidence
<st0rmb0x> The police are like, what the fuck, there's shit everywhere and that guy has a hole in the head
<Ka1enov> and your ass is clean! |
#307481 (519/637) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sebas> butts
<Erasmus> butts
<Sebas> butts
<Erasmus> butts
<Erasmus> Sometimes I feel like we're not using the Internet to its full potential. |
#305789 (286/376) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+replicated> talking to a friend in japan now
<+replicated> she thought she was gonna die lol
<!Suriko> tsunamis can do that
<!Suriko> is her house/relatives okay?
<+replicated> yeah all good
<+replicated> she's in yokohama
<+replicated> so no tsunami
<+replicated> but still scary as shit
<Doomfest> ask her if her figurines are fine
<+replicated> this is why you never get laid doom |
#305635 (257/357) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< JDigital> my sister found out that I know the names of the my little ponies
< JDigital> I don't know how long I can keep up the facade that I don't watch it |
#301489 (332/420) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Anoria> but the replacement parts are coming out of a $3 camera from ebay, so maybe something weird happened to this particular screen. there were no polarizers in either of the parts cameras.
<Bunsen> Man, this is why we need mantis shrimp vision.
<Anoria> I'm simply dying to know what you mean by that.
<Bunsen> Mantis shrimp have freakishly detailed perception of light.
<Bunsen> Like several more pigments than us, plus sensitivity to horizontal, vertical, and circular polarization.
<Anoria> yikes.
<peer> what does a shrimp need with that kind of vision?
<Bunsen> Hell if I know. Ask one.
<Anoria> I know there are beetles whose carapaces circularly polarize light, but I somehow doubt they share habitat
* Anoria reassembles the camera with both polarizers in place so they don't get lost in case someone eventually figures out what to do with them
<Anoria> or not polarizers. gratings. whatever.
<Bunsen> Oh my, I had forgotten that mantis shrimp are also capable of snapping their claws hard enough to cause cavitation and sonoluminescence.
<Anoria> wtf they're physics shrimp
<Bunsen> Exactly.
<Bunsen> Put 'em in heavy water, and I'm pretty sure they'll discover fusion.
<c0nsumer> why have you not done this yet?
<Bunsen> Because I, for one, do *not* welcome our new fusion-powered optics-researching crustacean overlords.Comment: I'm going to start a band called Physics Shrimp.
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#307310 (333/383) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Pryoidain is now known as MSWord
<MSWord> Oh Hi! I'm Microsoft word!
<MSWord> Hmm...I'm not really sure what you're doing here..you're using my equation editor an awful lot.
<MSWord> Oh! I see alot of numbers in parenthesis before these equations!
<MSWord> Huh...They don't quite match up though. See you have (1),(2),(3),(1),(3),(4),(1),(2),(5)
<MSWord> I can help! Let me just automatically reformat those into a list!
* MSWord DESTROYS ALL FORMATTING TO THIS POINT
<MSWord> What? You want me to stop automatically generating lists and go back to previous?
<MSWord> But..I was just trying to help!
<MSWord> Here, I'll fix it.
* MSWord RESETS ALL NUMBERS, FORMATTING, TAB INDENTATIONS, AND FORMULA LAYOUTS
<MSWord> There, Back to a blank slate!
<MSWord> What?
<MSWord> Hey why are you undoing?
<MSWord> Hey, don't go in there, those are my settings!
<MSWord> But, that's the autocorrect setting! That's me! What are you plan-
* MSWord is now known as Pryoidain
<Pryoidain> This is exactly how I am going to explain to my idiot math teacher why Microsoft word is a fucking HORRIBLE choice for a math homework submission. |
#307010 (152/234) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rooshoes> what uhh
<rooshoes> what kind of sex do you imagine us having
<a_boy> 1 sec phone call
<rooshoes> yeah nice and quick
<rooshoes> "im cumming!" *click* |
#306996 (207/281) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<scoff> I owe Toronto a visit at some point
<Mr_Shfty> outstanding warrants?
<scoff> Well, they're okay but I wouldn't say they're outstanding |
#306409 (248/306) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< iFarmer> I've come to the conclusion that the employees of my local library are idiots
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!"
< iFarmer> I scan the QR code. It says:
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!" |
#303993 (256/298) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Octopussy> i need to do something about this irc font
<&Shark> make it comic sans
<Octopussy> it looks all weirdy without fixed width
<Octopussy> yes, i should try comic sans first
<Octopussy> now everyone looks like an idiot
<Octopussy> i'll keep comic sans for a while |
#303849 (231/295) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Iridium> Alcohol is starting to fail me as a coping mechanism.
<PlanetDollar> drink more
<Iridium> Obviously that was my first step
<Iridium> but I can only drink so much before it becomes tomorrow, at which point I'm back to square one.
<PlanetDollar> smoke weed
<Iridium> I don't have the experience of smoking copious amounts of weed but I imagine there'd be a similar difficulty.
<PlanetDollar> you do build up a tolerance yes
<SentSix> I too fear that I'm going to have to start facing my problems.
<Iridium> WHOA WHOA whoa now
<Iridium> nobody said shit about facing problems |
#303759 (146/222) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< ADINSX> where are you from thereyougo?
< thereyougo> finland
< thereyougo> when in 3rd grade we started english teacher asked what we can say in english
< thereyougo> it was all like "autobots, roll"Comment: #cobol
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