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#300196 (25/85) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TrumpetSamurai> I live in OC.
<TrumpetSamurai> Kids start popping their collars here in, like, the 6th grade.
<TrumpetSamurai> It's a right of passage.
<TrumpetSamurai> You eat a Cinnabon while walking across the mall to Nordstrom's, then buy a pink polo shirt and pop the collar when you get it.
#295273 (155/187) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%Friedrich_Engels> i'm fairly convinced a ghost did not steal your weed
#308006 (245/321) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dr2chase> As I said to someone else, back when the Lite-Brite Mooninites panicked the Boston Police, the first rule of making a bomb, is to not make it look like a bomb.
<dr2chase> That's why IEDs get buried, stuffed into dead dogs, what have you. Around here, if you wanted to hide a bomb in plain sight, you'd stick it in a crumpled Dunkin Donuts bag.
<anony> Isn't a Dunkin Donuts bag the first place a cop would look?
#305947 (248/320) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+wklyver> man, you ever get something to work, but you aren't quite sure how
<+Cuntism> i made my gf cum once
<+Cuntism> does that count
#303762 (247/293) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< man_in_shack> anyone here good with configuring hal?
<+blast007> just don't give him two contradicting objectives and you'll be fine
#303216 (164/300) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jasperdett> :D
<resuni> :D
<Novell_Nazi> anyone ever tell you, you two look exactly alike?
Comment: irc.ecnet.org
#303211 (192/288) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Programix> drugs are like cheat codes in real life
<Programix> they are awesome but it ruins the rest of the game
#303057 (214/280) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<feem> what are all these letters and numbers on my screen
<MFZ> feem: That is called "text". Some have the ability to "read".
#301752 (194/290) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Flickerdart> See, Russian doesn't have an X. It uses ks instead.
<Flickerdart> It saves room in the alphabet for more useful letters.
<Flickerdart> Like 3.
#306718 (245/325) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
#178881 (131/225) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<defunkt> anyone know a good web-based survey system?
<defunkt> we need to find out why you guys are actually paying us money
Comment: From #github
#308003 (265/357) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kuyler> This voice recognition kind of socks
#307998 (-32/204) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<~HumanNoMore> service hicupd stop
<~HumanNoMore> chkconfig hicupd off
<AlexR> aahhaha... STOP... you're making me laugh more :-(
#307990 (135/187) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<glxblt> i really wish life had an undo button
<GargajCNS> i'd be content with a walkthrough
<GargajCNS> or a plot synopsis on wikipedia
#307979 (311/387) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ymbirtt> !remind 10m pizza
<Ymbirtt> !remind 12m seriously pizza
<Ymbirtt> !remind 20m small black disk
<Ymbirtt> !remind 1h extinguish fire in kitchen
#307960 (14/118) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Alberd> I have repurposed an old beta tank into a woodlice farm. I now have a plastic jar full of pill bugs on my desk which delight me to no end and I'm not sure why.
<+Night> You are an interesting person, Alberd
<@Alberd> I proffer that Armadillidium woodlice are by far one of the more adorable crustaceans. I have many fond memories of catching them as a child.
<@Alberd> Handfuls of them.
<@Alberd> Also of drowning them because I thought if you put them in water they would turn into worms eventually.
#307947 (74/126) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> So I had this brilliant Idea to patch portage to support Regex....
<Pryoidain> Like..massive regex standard strings
<LtBrenton> @_@
<Pryoidain> and then just for curiosity I ran emerge --search --desc ***
<Pryoidain> This system sounds like a turbine and I've lost a shell >.>
#302242 (-24/330) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tgies> http://qdb.us/101461
<tgies> if you did this irl a multitude of sunglasses would fucking appear on your face and fall all over the place in just a big heap
<tgies> and you would get a fucking special driver's license that entitles you to free chicken wings at any DMV office and the secret menu at arby's
<flamingspinach2> PlaceAtPC common_glasses_01 500
<G-Flex> no
<tgies> no
<G-Flex> don't
<G-Flex> spawnmass hkhangingpig 150
<flamingspinach2> what's that, deus ex?
<G-Flex> yeah
<G-Flex> yours was morrowind, right?
<flamingspinach2> yeah
<tgies> you guys are fucking nerds
Comment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org
#301713 (-149/501) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
slain        nicole show us your vagina
suspiria     not tonight
slain        is it all sloppy tonight
slain        did you man beat it up
suspiria     it's fairly clean
suspiria     as clean as such a filthy thing can ever become
slain        do vaginas make cheese
suspiria     no
timmy        i know an asshole that makes computers
#301318 (154/284) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Warrigal> I just realized that compilers reproduce asexually. This is possibly the most awesome moment of my life.
#300943 (-90/444) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Party> I have a furry magazine, one I keep just for them
<Party> .223
#300804 (-80/334) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<superlou> What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
<Kage_Jittai> superlou: what?
<superlou> Viola burns longer
<generic> Moon_Doggy: Wow
-*- Moon_Doggy prepares sniper rifle
-*- Moon_Doggy takes careful aim at the stage superlou stands on
-*- generic gives the signal
-*- superlou bends over to pick up glass of water.
-*- Moon_Doggy aims at superlou
-*- superlou stands up
-*- generic readies the signal
-*- superlou uses teleport
<Moon_Doggy> damn
<generic> D:
#300551 (-170/340) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rena> man recently qdb.us has been improving their layout quite a bit... just getting better and better... and today I go and I see big fucking ads interspersed with the content D:Comment: fun while it lasted
Ed. note: The "ads" are mostly links to friends' sites and interesting stuff we find around the web, but if you still hate them, you can turn them off in the preferences.
#300000 (-367/613) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gary>  This is going to be the 300000th quote i'm gona use on qdb. its gona be sick
<gary>  Then i'm going to do the the 300001th one, HELL YEAH
#307982 (217/247) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* krikkert heads for that large downy object in the other room which is rumoured to remove fatigue and restore vitality.
* UmbralRaptor spent far too long wondering why a coffee-maker would be covered in down.
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