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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..36373839404142..596Next> |
#233459 (57/129) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(phncs) what is the midwest good for
(phncs) other than giving stupid people political clout
(Iridium) lots of cows and no questions asked |
#308296 (88/140) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+lulzfish_4> What language are you using?
<@Nanobot> PHP
<+lulzfish_4> sorry I asked |
#307755 (211/241) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Black_Prince> I haven't left house for 7 days now!
<Black_Prince> :D
<AdmiralA> oh great, people are bragging about not going outside like it's uptime now
<AdmiralA> $ indoors
<AdmiralA> 21:40 not seen light in 2 days, 6:39, 3 meals, kcal averages: 0.23 0.13 0.09 |
#307478 (135/167) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<evelyn> hmm
<evelyn> having two computers playing two instances of the same MMO at once has its social advantages
<evelyn> one being female, i can manipulate men while the other watches to see what they say after i leave
<evelyn> the other being male, i can get the rebound on the female in question who had suffered from my advances upon her object of affection
<evelyn> perhaps unfortunately, this appears to be my sole joy in continuing to play this game |
#307156 (61/147) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'Comment: #EquestriaAfterDark on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
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#306013 (79/139) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bushmills> next first of april i should try to think of sending a fledgling computer user to the computer shop to buy me a new null deviceComment: #debian on irc.freenode.net
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#307714 (117/185) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rose> A friend told me about how Papa John's has a Christian slant like Chick Fil A and I had never heard of them having such a thing.
<Rose> So I order Papa John's tonight.
<Rose> THE PIZZA GUY INVITES ME TO CHURCH. |
#302661 (341/393) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mango> Duck.
<Mango> s/D/F/
<chanbot> Mango meant: (Censored).
* chanbot was kicked from #depot by chanbot: No swearing.
<Mango> :D |
#308230 (18/94) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&o11c> now if only we could quantify social skills |
#308160 (122/178) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sebas> Someone I deliver post to is called P. Margarita
<Sebas> I hope her first name is Pizza |
#307795 (194/230) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< craige> We officially stopped supporting ie6 at work this year
< craige> I think I almost cried
< craige> Not because I was happy, but because I now had a timeframe for how long I'd be supporting ie7 |
#306366 (108/156) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mabb> my project has been research into "is this possible" for the first 3 weeks. Now it's moved onto "Hey, this might be possible"
<yicui> is it proven rigourously?
<mabb> more like proven religiously: I'm praying that this works |
#306959 (97/179) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mew: "what do you do with a dead chemist?" "BARIUM!"
Mew: k im done failing
bryan: lol thats a tin on my scale
Mew: I do not know how to react to this |
#304535 (80/160) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MiSFiT> wouldn't it be great if terrorists were on facebook?
<MiSFiT> Mohammed has become a fan of Abu Hamza
<@NoX> Facebook: Mohammed Abiim is now about to high jack an aeroplane
<@NoX> Al'Queda likes this
<@Polynomial> The Taliban posted on your wall: THIS REALLY WORKS! Put a bomb in 6 local schools and attach a strip of paper with the name of your true love on it to each. Make them go off at 9am and your true love will kiss you before midnight! |
#304406 (115/185) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<atari2600a> anyone else ever stare at that last supper painting
<atari2600a> & think to themselves what jesus was thinking
* atari2600a are now known as jesus
* jesus looks to the left, right
<jesus> you know there's FOUR SIDES to this table right?
<nwongfeiying> What?
<nwongfeiying> Lies.
<jesus> we all don't have to be scrunched together like this
<jesus> Judas what the fuck are you doing
<jesus> pass the rolls you asshole
<jesus> GOD DAMNIT the sun's burning the back of my fucking head!
<Armandtanzarian> i think the dinner is the least of your concerns
<Armandtanzarian> there are idiots in texas burning abortion clinics
<jesus> brb, Romans |
#295284 (51/103) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Tenacious: ...yahoo mail is too easy to get into...
Tenacious: all you need is someone's birthday and a general knowledge of them
Ghostman: lol
Ghostman: whose account did you break into?
Tenacious: someone broke into my brothers...so I broke in again, and went in, changed his security question
Tenacious: someone got into his email first...then used that to get into his facebook and change his status to 'I am masturbating' |
#307590 (163/221) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&Asestorian> you can only romance companions of the opposite gender
<&Entity> that's gay :( |
#307546 (20/86) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Oz> I am way too tired to be doing this shit. Also, the more I copy from the book, the more I remember why I dislike coding from scratch...
<Oz> It's all just random shit that people built to simplify complex functions, with all of them essentially being arbitrary. :/
<Oz> It's like going "Stick your fingers in the hole!" "What's in it?" "You'll find out later! :D" |
#307358 (96/176) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Roxsie> hey sebas, what do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?
<@Sebas> A shit magician. |
#306002 (135/185) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
thoriumchameleon: !seen goldfinch
Sploosh: goldfinch was last seen in #LFS-support at Fri Dec 24, 2010 [04:45] GMT saying 'guys i heard a scream from down the road but im shitting bricks what do i do' |
#305605 (99/143) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crispy> Rational behavior: Behavior that can be expressed as a fraction. |
#305249 (75/177) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
xxx: Is it just me or is Windos a misnomer?
Jef: ?
xxx: WinDOS
xxx: Win Disk Operating System
xxx: Whilst it isn't Win at all.
Jef: I thought it was windows.
xxx: What should we name your new operating system? Hmm, well, there is a window....
xxx: wait
xxx: Oh wow
xxx: There is a W there
xxx: That invalidates 3 years worth of thought |
#304489 (111/159) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+teratos> I am sick and dying
<+teratos> It was nice knowing you friends
<+}> teratos: what are you suffering from?
<+teratos> Pizza Hut Lunch Buffet |
#300196 (25/85) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TrumpetSamurai> I live in OC.
<TrumpetSamurai> Kids start popping their collars here in, like, the 6th grade.
<TrumpetSamurai> It's a right of passage.
<TrumpetSamurai> You eat a Cinnabon while walking across the mall to Nordstrom's, then buy a pink polo shirt and pop the collar when you get it. |
#295273 (155/187) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%Friedrich_Engels> i'm fairly convinced a ghost did not steal your weed |
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