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#305565 (168/232) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@meeb> HAHAHAHAH i've just accidentally shipped a commercial software build to a utility for use with 8 million customers with a 3.2mb JPG of my gf holding some flowers embedded in it by accident |
#304546 (159/233) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+wubbson> When I was 7 I wanted to be a paraplegic but then I realized professor X didn't get his powers from being in a wheelchair |
#308130 (68/210) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Adorable> On a scale of Helen Keller to Osama Bin Laden, how good is my hiding spot? |
#307356 (132/174) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Shifteny> Ok, I just did something really stupid and I was glad nobody was over in this office today to see it
<@Shifteny> I have this really nice, very warm fleece pullover I keep in this office because it gets cold over here sometimes
<@Shifteny> it has a drawstring in the waist
<@Shifteny> well, I've been wearing it since lunch because I was cold
<@Shifteny> I started getting hot, so I decided to take it off
<@Shifteny> I didn't notice that I was sitting on the drawstring
<@Shifteny> so as I was trying to pull the garment over my head, the drawstring kept tightening around my waist
<@Shifteny> so I was stuck there for a minute trying to figure out why I couldn't get it off
<@Shifteny> flailing around, trying to pull my arms out so I could get un-stuck
<@Shifteny> it was like the fleece pullover equivalent of a Chinese finger trap |
#305903 (147/215) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bucketmouse> you heard about her birthday right
<stef> no
<bucketmouse> he didn't mention it at all so she asked a mutual friend of theirs
<bucketmouse> the dude tipped her of that he was talking about throwing her a portal themed birthday party
<bucketmouse> so she gets overly excited/hopeful thinking it's going to be romantic or something
<stef> portal isn't romantic though
<bucketmouse> so on the day of she wakes up, he's at work, she walks into the kitchen
<stef> this is going to be terrible isnt it
<bucketmouse> on the counter there's a cheap dollar-store helium balloon, a joint, and a box of debbie crocker cake mix
<bucketmouse> and a scrap of paper reading: 'u will be baked then there will be cake'Comment: she dumped him over this
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#305714 (123/179) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RAMPKORV> During the days of Yahoo IM, I added a guy randomly, then started spamming him with PENIS
<RAMPKORV> Appearantly, I did it exactly when he was doing a presentation for work
<fusion2004> gahaha
<RAMPKORV> and he replied 15 minutes later and was pretty angry |
#303306 (30/108) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ratty> It's really sad cycling past people who are drunk at 9:20 am. I mean, I can't have a beer for 8 more hours. |
#303201 (59/117) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
GrawSith> I need a bunch of mannequin feet to store my socks on, so when i get them they're already stretchy and nice |
#295110 (106/156) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lync> oooooooookaaaaaaaay that was weird
<Lync> I just got called by someone at random who just went "what...a...dick...you...are" then hung up
<Lync> someone I don't even know amusingly either o.o
<TR> Sounds like they know you though. |
#226181 (106/160) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@jer> TheBeast, lemme guess, female?
<@jer> if so, it sounds like you're caught in a pussy trap, get out of it... don't call her again, let her call you
<@jer> if you have some mutal friends, slip to them that you're really busy with something exciting in your life (and make sure it's real, don't lie)
<@jer> she'll call you, when she does, tell her you can't talk for long, then abruptly tell her you have to go
<@jer> and hang up
<@jer> work that way for a little while
<@jer> she'll then be in your little trap =]
<indigoflux> This is why I hate relationships.
<indigoflux> If I want to play mind games, I might as well sign up for a course in assembly programming. |
#307532 (107/151) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hegemonicon> Is there a rule34 equivalent to science fiction: "If an idea exist someone has written a sci-fi story about it"?
<dontmindme> wouldn't rule 34 contain such rule?
<hegemonicon> Ah so sort of like "What if a spaceship found a planet made of solid gold? Oh, someone wrote a story about that, also there's fucking".
<dontmindme> exactly |
#304398 (110/218) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
seand: _^_ what are your computer specs
_^_: kinda good
_^_: i guess
seand: i wanted numbers, but okayComment: #projects@irc.strictfp.com
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#308323 (99/199) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< ShaRose> not sure if talking about religion or my little pony |
#306898 (116/178) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<KP9000> wheelchairs are awesome when you're not crippled |
#306225 (100/226) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TParadox> January 20th, 2008: President Bush approaches the helicopter waiting to carry him away from the White House for the last time, turns to the crowd and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen... The Aristocrats!" |
#305435 (176/236) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<chuzz> whats the thing you put in /etc/make.conf to make make make concurrently? |
#304793 (35/193) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Phil: C++ is java's uncle that never comes to visit, and had half his face blown off when he stepped on a landmine, also he's a pedophile.
Phil: But he's the industry standard. |
#301628 (61/137) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pnbeast> How do you feel about neural networks, HappyHobo?
<HappyHobo> Is that like Amway?
<pnbeast> It's almost exactly not like Amway, HappyHobo. |
#301056 (129/189) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<froggey> gta4 is fantastic. just got run over by the stationary car i was trying to steal :D |
#296934 (115/155) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Indogutsu> Is that that Basshunter song?
<Slime_Master> Yeah
<Indogutsu> ...only in Sweden can a dance rap song about IRC hit #1 on the charts. |
#307789 (77/133) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Navi> I googled 5 a day and it suggested "5.79 x 10^-5 Hz" |
#306057 (196/270) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Cynic: I watched the movie The Prestige today
Cynic: that was really good
FotG: trying to remember what that one is
Cynic: Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale
Cynic: are magicians
FotG: yeah actors names.... don't really mean much to me
Cynic: Wolverine and Batman
Cynic: are magicians
FotG: Don't think I've seen any movie like that... |
#307141 (101/163) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+ajackmeh20> You know I just thought of a Mad Men drinking game. Except it's rather simple. You just drink every time they do. You'll get drunk pretty quickly. |
#304159 (125/173) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
elocin says: find someone on the internet. YAHOO ANSWER THAT SHIT
bryan says: theres a fucking hamster in a kimono on the homepage of yahoo answers and you expect me to trust this as a viable source of information |
#302855 (41/107) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< wombatguy> i'm actually writing a decompiler that turns anything sent to it into a hello world example
< wombatguy> i figure after that I can just reverse the process and voilaComment: #nesdev
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