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#308567 (290/334) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Cypher: So I just let a cat in
Cypher: fed it a bit
Cypher: had it sit on my lap for the better part of an hour
Cypher: and I've only just realised it isn't actually my cat |
#308549 (71/143) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Twinge> Saw the word 'spaghetti' and assumed people were talking about code. Was not disappointed. |
#307315 (111/215) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cansado> decode this while i poop: dWggb2gsIG15IGFudXMgaXMgZGlsYXRpbmch
<jph> jph@hellcat:[ttys005]:~/Downloads$ echo dWggb2gsIG15IGFudXMgaXMgZGlsYXRpbmch | base64 -d ; echo
<jph> uh oh, my anus is dilating!
<jph> cans: fuck you |
#302144 (31/213) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dangerousgeom> wow, your forehead has a language?
<dangerousgeom> that's impressive
<sos> every forehead has a language, just try using it for tying stuff
<sos> typing*
<dangerousgeom> v njm v
<dangerousgeom> mine seems to have a speech impediment |
#297656 (-90/226) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Carly: Hmm... I was wondering what that sound was... and why my leg was getting wet |
#295369 (66/204) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Illing> can anyone recommend a good cult? |
#237243 (47/135) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Poromenos> Getting a bill passed is like getting a story on the reddit frontpage, only in the Senate you're trying to get as many people to game the system as possible
<knight666> So Digg is a more accurate representation of the U.S. Senate? |
#308534 (214/272) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< CoJaBo> Update: The object seen landing near Gale Crater on MSD 49,269 at around 05:50:16 AMT local time has been conclusively identified by the Martian Space Agency to be a weather balloon. Due to possible radioactive contamination, Mars citizens are forbidden to approach Gale Crater until further notice. |
#308523 (128/164) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Treeki> "Final Fantasy 13-2" reminds me of European TV channel names
<@Treeki> Spain has a channel named laSexta (theSixth)
<@Treeki> and laSexta2, and laSexta3
<@Treeki> Britain has the Channel 4 network, which has Channel 4, More4, E4 and Film4
<@Treeki> and timeshifted versions: Channel 4+1, More4+1, E4+1 and Film4+1
<@Treeki> they recently launched a new channel, 4seven
<@Treeki> I'm just waiting for 4seven+1 for maximum confusion |
#308242 (148/182) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+stereo__> if i spend like, $100-$200 on a phone case, fuck if i'm letting it get damaged. i'd put it in another case |
#308166 (178/228) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<macduff> I bought Jake and his wife a fuck swing for their wedding present.
<h00k> How thoughtful.
<macduff> He claims they don't use it, but I've been to their house and in the corner of the bedroom there's a fern hanging from a suspiciously large eye bolt. |
#308135 (259/285) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
sammy: Okay..being a mod is like playing Sims because you have all this power...you create a world for your people...you try to make it safe...happy...you monitor it to stop problems...you check their needs and try to meet them...but no matter what you do, sooner or later people are going to stand around waving their arms and yelling illegibly about something you've done wrong.
<TheBeeSingsWithMalice> And then you start herding them into the pool and taking out the ladders... |
#308081 (213/263) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<beeba> is this where i report issues?
<acous> you're nearly there beeba... in 26 minutes a short nordic man will enter, order a hamburger and leave without paying, follow him, but don't get too close. by the time he reaches the park he will have removed a pocket watch from his breast pocket.
<acous> then and only then, say to him, "dear lord, is that the time"
<acous> he will hand you a small red envelope with further instructions |
#308521 (107/185) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> I saw the new (old) arp-ing joke post on qdb, and just for a split second of amusement, set every device on my network to have the same IP as my laptop.
<Pryoidain> Now in my head, the intended result was for my lil ultrabook to ask the router "Hey who am I? Here's my IP." and think it had suddenly become a sun box
<Pryoidain> "THE COMPUTER IS THE NETWORK, I AM ALL OF YOU"
<Pryoidain> In reality, I turned the next 57 minutes of my monday morning into a frantic scrabbling to get the network back functional before I had to leave for work, and ended up giving myself a migraine. |
#308510 (159/197) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JCDenton> Am I the only one who seems to spend more time fixing stupid trivial errors when programming than real issues?
<nathan28> JCDenton: lolwut
<nathan28> that is programming |
#308490 (132/168) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PyroPyro> a guy just fax'd me a paper with text "i dont know how this works i will just email the doc to you" |
#308477 (59/117) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<grawity> hm, ranger is a cool file manager.
<chrise> What if I have uncool files that I want to manage?
<grawity> you cool them |
#304048 (-234/466) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cumthinker> ( . __ . ) . o O ( cum ) |
#300408 (156/236) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TJNII> Man, this grandstream phone sure ARPs a lot. It is like a confused old man on my network. "Who am I? Who are you? Who are all these people?" Every 15 minutes. |
#308280 (420/486) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(rickest) reinventing the wheel is exactly what allows us to travel 80mph without even feeling it. the original wheel fell apart at about 5mph after 100 yards. now they're rubber, self-healing, last 4000 times longer. whoever intended the phrase "you're reinventing the wheel" to be an insult was an idiot. |
#307551 (243/279) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
chelseamc: when i go through and close my tabs from last night in the morning
chelseamc: its like an internet hangover
chelseamc: WHAT WAS I DOING LAST NIGHT |
#305703 (200/270) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%SxS> heh, this is why I tell my students to never use Wikipedia as a source
<%SxS> I have in front of me a paper that starts with "The internet was invented in 1976 by Al Gore". |
#304577 (161/225) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+mrman> "the wolverine, the largest and least popular member of the weasel family"
<+mrman> who knew someone was keeping track of the relative popularity of various weasels? |
#301482 (157/207) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Emerald> During the hurricane of 1955 that hit Connecticut, my grandfather's neighbors were on vacation. Afterward, he sent them the following telegram, in its entirety: "What do you want me to do with your roof?" |
#301633 (87/155) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<HalfNote5> Have you ever noticed that everyone loves a comedy site right up until it's something important to them that's being satirized or made fun of? "I LOVED it when you made fun of Nazis, the KKK, and the Spanish Inquisition, but I'll have you know, as a Rural American Militia member, I'm insulted that you refer to our 'Justice Dorms' as 'Compounds'. I'll never read your crappy site again!" |
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