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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..3456789..552Next> |
#81446 (2306/2694) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
ATH0: I don't know why the Korean guys at school love Steve so much.
ATH0: He doesn't look too Korean.
Batman: He told me.
Batman: Basically, he beat them at StarCraft and became their king. |
#173329 (2302/3160) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<Trinexx> There. I have allocated two weeks' worth of vacation time, starting on September 7th.
<Apollo> September 7th? You're going on vacation the DAY that Spore comes out? wtf dude
<Trinexx> Exactly.
<Apollo> oh
<Apollo> OH!
<Apollo> Fuck, I gotta do the same D: |
#3935 (2298/4874) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax
<Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable |
#273721 (2296/2628) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
chewypow: so when i worked at Starbucks in little rock, there was this super hot 18 year old, miss teen usa right
chewypow: she came in one day and was talking to me and told me when she was brushing her hair that morning, a lot of it came out.. she then continues to explain that she thought she had 'chemo'
chewypow: a week later she comes in and uses some mouthwash, and then swallows it. I point out to her that it says on the back if accidently swallowed to call poison control immediately
chewypow: she reads the label and looks at me and says "Oh.. it's ok. I didn't do it on accident"
muku: ...
chewypow: exactly. brain synapses stop firing when you hear this story right?Comment: Sadly a true story
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#76413 (2290/2622) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
< Swuave> Scopophobia is a fear of being looked at.
< Swuave> LOL, i'de like to see someone with that fear.
<@SantaBJ> they wouldn't. |
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T-Shirt Hell: Talk Nerdy to Me
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#93971 (2287/2819) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
JonTG> wait, shit |
#81636 (2284/2728) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<wasabi> 0_0
<wasabi> gonna be one fucker of a day
<jeeb> howso?
<wasabi> walked past the server room...
<wasabi> The boss was sitting in there with a box of sphagetti noodles...
<wasabi> slowly pushing one in at a time into the server fan on an old P3 system
<wasabi> giggling like a school girl while the fan made this horrendously loud, high-pitched sawing sound
<wasabi> noodle shrapnel flying back at his black suite (covered in it)
<wasabi> That's why...
<jeeb> 0_0 |
#101481 (2276/2772) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<SaxxonPike> mmm, steak
<SLASHSPIT> you guys don't respect the environment, do you?
<SaxxonPike> I respect a good dinner
<SLASHSPIT> how can you eat that? cows are like one of the largest contributors of methane gas
<SLASHSPIT> which contributes to global warming and stuff
<SLASHSPIT> so what are you all doing for the environment?
<SaxxonPike> I eat the fucking cowsComment: #das-cove
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#22621 (2270/2732) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
(mike): HEH, THIs Is AMuSINg
(mike): I Got a WiNAMP pLUgiN THAt BLInKS THE KEYboARD ledS tO THE MUSIc
(mike): BUT IT acTUALLY turNs THe CAPsLOcK On AND oFF iNSTEad OF JuST the LIGHt |
#117518 (2264/2766) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<Rijnzael> correcting wrongs on the internet is like subtracting 1 from infinity |
#101889 (2263/2659) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<Rjx> i think the internet makes smart people smarter and stupid people louder
<rm-fr> SHUT UP!!! |
#93970 (2252/2668) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
Tire Aramaki > how tough is a 3/10?
Na'Axin > on a scale from 1 to 10?
Na'Axin > I'd say 3 |
#61277 (2242/2610) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
Hekili_Manu Ok. So I called my bank's fraud dept about that hotels.com letter I got since I apparently used them twice with two different cards. I forgot completely that when I signed up you can assign your own security question online.
Hekili_Manu So when I called and spoke to the guy they use the same security question and he asked me "Ok, I just need to verify one thing. How big is your c**k?"
Hekili_Manu It took me a moment to remember that and I was like "Uh....." |
#140289 (2240/2730) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
iGenius52: i have a ladybug in my keyboard...
GogetaFour: LOL
GogetaFour: nice
iGenius52: i tried to take a pic but my phones acting weird
iGenius52: so i took a video instead
iGenius52: but i was listening to rocky music
iGenius52: so now i have a vid of a ladybug running across my keyboard with rocky training music in the background |
#141584 (2235/2713) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<Crucius> I had the best race home from work today
<Crucius> I pull out from work on my motorbike, and theres a guy on another bike right next to me, who sees me and like takes off
<Crucius> so I take off after him, and we're like dodging in and out of traffic hard out
<moxie> lol
<Crucius> and we stop at a set of lights, next to this guy on a scooter
<Crucius> lights go green and we're off again
<Crucius> doing like 120ish in a 50 zone
<moxie> lawd
<Crucius> get to the next set of lights
<Crucius> and like a minute later, the guy on the scooter arrives agaibn
<Crucius> lights change, and we're off again, but we get hed up by a big assed queue of traffic we cant get past
<moxie> D:
<Crucius> so we're sitting there waiting
<Crucius> and the guy on the scooter goes by in the cycle lane
<Crucius> and we just hung our heads |
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#117559 (2228/2564) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<BORK> wow
<BORK> my boss just told me to "Open ze portz" in his heavy accent
<45.50> what ports
<BORK> All of them, apparently. He wants everyone to fire up the torrents/P2P and start enjoying work.
<45.50> shit man can i come work for you? where do i send my resume
<BORK> The reason being, is so that in a month
<BORK> he'll be able to boost productivity by like 1000%
<45.50> how?
<BORK> by telling employee's that he'll close their ports again if they don't do some fucking work
<45.50> ...
<45.50> i want my resume back
<BORK> >:) |
#14967 (2225/2734) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<[Ht]Fro> Here in canada we have a special program to deal with the homeless...it's called winter |
#143423 (2224/2724) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
*** dawg88 has joined #medical
(dawg88) hi, are all people in this channel doctors?
(+Reggae) yup.
(dawg88) i just wanna know how the possibility of a father to inherit a sickle cell anaemia gene to his son???
(+Reggae) humm, does his son has a sister?
(dawg88) yeah
(+Reggae) is she hot?!
(dawg88) fuck you |
#95266 (2217/2699) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<Skevin> At a former workplace, I tried to google for "python scripting trim whitespace". The page was blocked. I asked the owner of the company (who set up the blocking software out of the box) and he responded with "Animals have nothing to do with your job. Writing screenplays have nothing to do with your job. And I definitely will not tolerate my employees looking at websites of racist organizations." |
#57047 (2207/2947) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<Mel>People make misstakes daniel, ive made plenty misstakes but i try not to make the smae misstake three times
<Mel> same* |
#242915 (2202/2738) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
AzuiSleet: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ortzinator: is that a "penis caught in zipper" scream or a "omg i just lost 3 hours worth of code" scream? |
#121156 (2199/2773) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<max> my mom friended my sister on facebook
<max> but not me |
#60310 (2197/2881) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<DarkArchon> She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit
<DarkArchon> Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.
<DarkArchon> I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
<DarkArchon> She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
<DarkArchon> I told her that was what the beer was for.
<DarkArchon> I don't think she's coming back....Comment: irc.archspace.org 6666 #archspace
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#95753 (2187/2947) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<xkcd> honestly, I'm not entirely sure that I will ever get tired of amusing pictures of cats
<xkcd> FORTUNATELY, SOMEONE INVENTED THE INTERNET |
#60986 (2185/2785) ↑Funny ↓Boring πOld
<itai> found a bug in the english wiki site :|
<Angela> what's the problem?
<itai> can't tell :x
<Gentgeen> that makes it hard to fix
<Angela> itai: could you explain where the bug is?
<itai> the site isn't secured
<JeLuF> secured?
<itai> yes
<itai> un protected
<Angela> anyone can edit it?
<itai> yesComment: irc.freenode.net #wikipedia
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