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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..3456789..559Next> |
#81636 (2416/2958) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<wasabi> 0_0
<wasabi> gonna be one fucker of a day
<jeeb> howso?
<wasabi> walked past the server room...
<wasabi> The boss was sitting in there with a box of sphagetti noodles...
<wasabi> slowly pushing one in at a time into the server fan on an old P3 system
<wasabi> giggling like a school girl while the fan made this horrendously loud, high-pitched sawing sound
<wasabi> noodle shrapnel flying back at his black suite (covered in it)
<wasabi> That's why...
<jeeb> 0_0 |
#101481 (2397/2985) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<SaxxonPike> mmm, steak
<SLASHSPIT> you guys don't respect the environment, do you?
<SaxxonPike> I respect a good dinner
<SLASHSPIT> how can you eat that? cows are like one of the largest contributors of methane gas
<SLASHSPIT> which contributes to global warming and stuff
<SLASHSPIT> so what are you all doing for the environment?
<SaxxonPike> I eat the fucking cowsComment: #das-cove
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#97738 (2396/2804) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
*** qf2mquo has joined channel #uw
<chronomex> hi qf2mquo
<chronomex> why the unusual nick?
<qf2mquo> o
<qf2mquo> shit
<qf2mquo> that's my password |
#300794 (2395/2599) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Nub> Can someone explain to me how cells divide?
<K4rli> o
<K4rli> 0
<K4rli> 8
<K4rli> oo |
#93971 (2395/3021) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
JonTG> wait, shit |
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#5523 (2394/5433) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Opcode> i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file |
#101889 (2391/2825) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Rjx> i think the internet makes smart people smarter and stupid people louder
<rm-fr> SHUT UP!!! |
#93970 (2391/2833) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
Tire Aramaki > how tough is a 3/10?
Na'Axin > on a scale from 1 to 10?
Na'Axin > I'd say 3 |
#117518 (2389/2953) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Rijnzael> correcting wrongs on the internet is like subtracting 1 from infinity |
#61277 (2382/2780) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
Hekili_Manu Ok. So I called my bank's fraud dept about that hotels.com letter I got since I apparently used them twice with two different cards. I forgot completely that when I signed up you can assign your own security question online.
Hekili_Manu So when I called and spoke to the guy they use the same security question and he asked me "Ok, I just need to verify one thing. How big is your c**k?"
Hekili_Manu It took me a moment to remember that and I was like "Uh....." |
#38 (2381/5417) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Relevant> get oral_sex_training_video.mpg
<Relevant> Oops wrong window. |
#140289 (2379/2911) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
iGenius52: i have a ladybug in my keyboard...
GogetaFour: LOL
GogetaFour: nice
iGenius52: i tried to take a pic but my phones acting weird
iGenius52: so i took a video instead
iGenius52: but i was listening to rocky music
iGenius52: so now i have a vid of a ladybug running across my keyboard with rocky training music in the background |
#22621 (2361/2887) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
(mike): HEH, THIs Is AMuSINg
(mike): I Got a WiNAMP pLUgiN THAt BLInKS THE KEYboARD ledS tO THE MUSIc
(mike): BUT IT acTUALLY turNs THe CAPsLOcK On AND oFF iNSTEad OF JuST the LIGHt |
#15641 (2357/5202) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?! |
#173329 (2355/3277) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Trinexx> There. I have allocated two weeks' worth of vacation time, starting on September 7th.
<Apollo> September 7th? You're going on vacation the DAY that Spore comes out? wtf dude
<Trinexx> Exactly.
<Apollo> oh
<Apollo> OH!
<Apollo> Fuck, I gotta do the same D: |
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#141584 (2351/2873) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Crucius> I had the best race home from work today
<Crucius> I pull out from work on my motorbike, and theres a guy on another bike right next to me, who sees me and like takes off
<Crucius> so I take off after him, and we're like dodging in and out of traffic hard out
<moxie> lol
<Crucius> and we stop at a set of lights, next to this guy on a scooter
<Crucius> lights go green and we're off again
<Crucius> doing like 120ish in a 50 zone
<moxie> lawd
<Crucius> get to the next set of lights
<Crucius> and like a minute later, the guy on the scooter arrives agaibn
<Crucius> lights change, and we're off again, but we get hed up by a big assed queue of traffic we cant get past
<moxie> D:
<Crucius> so we're sitting there waiting
<Crucius> and the guy on the scooter goes by in the cycle lane
<Crucius> and we just hung our heads |
#143423 (2333/2869) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
*** dawg88 has joined #medical
(dawg88) hi, are all people in this channel doctors?
(+Reggae) yup.
(dawg88) i just wanna know how the possibility of a father to inherit a sickle cell anaemia gene to his son???
(+Reggae) humm, does his son has a sister?
(dawg88) yeah
(+Reggae) is she hot?!
(dawg88) fuck you |
#57047 (2325/3089) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Mel>People make misstakes daniel, ive made plenty misstakes but i try not to make the smae misstake three times
<Mel> same* |
#242915 (2323/2899) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
AzuiSleet: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ortzinator: is that a "penis caught in zipper" scream or a "omg i just lost 3 hours worth of code" scream? |
#117559 (2322/2688) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<BORK> wow
<BORK> my boss just told me to "Open ze portz" in his heavy accent
<45.50> what ports
<BORK> All of them, apparently. He wants everyone to fire up the torrents/P2P and start enjoying work.
<45.50> shit man can i come work for you? where do i send my resume
<BORK> The reason being, is so that in a month
<BORK> he'll be able to boost productivity by like 1000%
<45.50> how?
<BORK> by telling employee's that he'll close their ports again if they don't do some fucking work
<45.50> ...
<45.50> i want my resume back
<BORK> >:) |
#14967 (2319/2866) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<[Ht]Fro> Here in canada we have a special program to deal with the homeless...it's called winter |
#95266 (2318/2838) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Skevin> At a former workplace, I tried to google for "python scripting trim whitespace". The page was blocked. I asked the owner of the company (who set up the blocking software out of the box) and he responded with "Animals have nothing to do with your job. Writing screenplays have nothing to do with your job. And I definitely will not tolerate my employees looking at websites of racist organizations." |
#60310 (2316/3054) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<DarkArchon> She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit
<DarkArchon> Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.
<DarkArchon> I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
<DarkArchon> She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
<DarkArchon> I told her that was what the beer was for.
<DarkArchon> I don't think she's coming back....Comment: irc.archspace.org 6666 #archspace
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#3935 (2309/4939) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax
<Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable |
#121156 (2286/2922) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<max> my mom friended my sister on facebook
<max> but not me |
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