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#301708 (533/637) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<DrCoconut> my toaster seems to have 2 settings
<DrCoconut> bread
<DrCoconut> and charcoal |
#301632 (358/490) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
< Jeros> im off to a wild cocaine fuelled sex party with supermodels tonight
< Jeros> ......actully im installing ubuntu but shits the same
< xoebus> both times you wake up trying to remember where your night has gone and vowing that you will never do it again? |
#301607 (272/372) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Mabbo> So, last night I discovered that my flatmate is functionally retarded
<Mabbo> Matt asked "Wait, which one is actually a star, the sun or the moon?"
<Mabbo> Keeping in mind, this is a guy who is in uni to become a primary school teacher.
<stiglet> Was he drunk?
<Mabbo> Stone sobre.
<Mabbo> Ben and I laughed, thinking he was joking
<Mabbo> he just stared back at us. "Seriously, I know one of them is, but which one?"
<Happysuggs> ...
<Happysuggs> SPECIAL
<Mabbo> I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps the standards to get into Uni of Edinburgh aren't what they were made out to be. |
#301602 (202/364) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<@Kagami> OH FUCK STAR TREK ONLINE
<@Kagami> And it's an MMO
<@Kagami> I can't wait to roll Ensign and die in the engine room |
#301600 (506/594) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
Ariel: i can't find my bball practice uniform
Ariel: he's gonna make me run all practice
Bryan: D:
Ariel: I checked the wardrobe, the laundry the closet and still can't find it
Bryan: check the bed!
Ariel: It wouldn't be there
Bryan: i once found a hammer in the fridge don't tell me you can't find clothes in a bed |
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The London Vandal Store, you should check it out.
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#301631 (493/633) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
[Thrasher]: there needs to be Star Wars themed snacks
[Thrasher]: Chewy granola bars
[Thrasher]: C3PO Henry bars
[Thrasher]: and the moneymaker
[Thrasher]: Han Rolos!!
[Buchwald]: /block
[Buchwald]: /ignore
[Buchwald]: /delete
[Buchwald]: Goddammit one of these has to work
[Buchwald]: /kill
[Thrasher]: come on!! HAN ROLOS!
[Buchwald]: /abort
[Buchwald]: /put up for adoption
[Buchwald]: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK
[Thrasher]: sorry youve heard
[Thrasher]: you laughed
[Thrasher]: and now youll remeber it forever
[Buchwald]: I went to a sushi place last night that offered something called the "That's How I.." roll. And I thought that was the worst pun I'd hear all week. 15 hours later, you top it.
[Thrasher]: haha
[Thrasher]: "Han Rolos!! Share them with your friends...don't be Greedo"
[Thrasher]: too far?
[Buchwald]: I hate to admit it, but that line finally got me to laugh
[Thrasher]: Emperor Pralines: Your feeble powers are no match for the Dark NougatComment: Thrasher continued on for another five minutes
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#301603 (122/312) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Two9A> Slashdot has a good analogy. "C/C++ coders are tank commanders: close to the action, in deep. PHP is like a UCAV pilot: much the same firepower, but sitting in a comfy chair with coffee to hand. Python is an F-22 pilot: in the arena, but removed from the ground."
<Two9A> Any additions?
<haro> php is more like anti-satellite warfare, it's good for aiming at the stars but only leaves a mess of debris in its' wake |
#301599 (364/468) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
Jingleboy: Love how the Business version of Vista has "have fun on your PC" unticked |
#301596 (404/532) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
< Larscis> How long do most printers last?
< Larscis> Because my HP Photosmart 3310 from 2006 finally died today. Quite spectacularly.
< Tamber> oh?
< Larscis> Yes. The seal on the ink resevoir broke through
< Larscis> And the pressure the pump built up caused the ink to spray all over the inside of the printer.
< Larscis> Never before have I had a printer attempt to demonstrate to me what happens with a burst aorta. |
#301594 (337/485) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<SEAL> You know how Toyota is having a ton of problems
<SEAL> With the accelerator pedals getting stuck at full throttle
<SEAL> Well, they really need to change their slogan
<SEAL> To something besides "Moving Forward"
<SEAL> The irony is astonishing |
#297918 (900/1022) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Fyad> When I bought siemens cellphone, siemens sold its cellular section. When I bought yakumo screen, yakumo got bunkrupt. When I bought fujitsu-siemens laptop, siemens sold its share.
<Fyad> Just curious what to buy next...
<r_heart> apple
<hoobsta> Apple
<sailo> apple |
#297885 (127/323) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Fox> so
<Fox> as you guys know I've been watching Voyager like nonstop the past week or so
<Fox> when my mom woke me up this morning, apparently I was asking her how we got back to the Alpha Quadrant |
#297312 (101/241) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<@FlopSter> sometimes i wonder what type of product research one does when manufacturing love dolls |
#296919 (342/430) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<dd7> "erics laptop is all elite and shit he has a black console up all the time and he's always typing in these color coded commands i have no idea what he's doing on it"
<dd7> i didnt have the heart to tell dan i was just using a fancy irc theme |
#264956 (181/305) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<+MooG> my friend and his mates made up a big cardboard car out of a fridge box once
<+MooG> and went through the drivethrough
<+MooG> they even had one being the "radio", beatboxing
<+Formalhaut> McDonalds don't serve us when we walk through but BK do. More business for them, even if it is drunkards
<+MooG> and they did mime actions for the window winding and everything
<+MooG> wish i'd filmed it |
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Got a question? Try the FAQ
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#300279 (535/719) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<kaiser> 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm insane...
<kaiser> the 10th voice hums the tetris themeComment: #twokinds of nightstar
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#301557 (723/799) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<oOrEPPiEOo> what's the furthest you've gone, in baseball analogies
<oOrEPPiEOo> with a member of the opposite sex
<inline4chan> I've never left the dugout
<Trolly> i get ESPN |
#301361 (127/359) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<mike> i'm gonna start voting republican
<Censored_Vagina> no you're not
<mike> because if i can't fix things i'm sure as hell gonna accelerate the decline
<Censored_Vagina> it's one of those things like "I'm just gonna catch my own jizz in my mouth" and then you stop at the last second because you realize that's not a good ideaComment: #raspberryheaven
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#300258 (184/344) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
< fahadsadah> Something tells me exec("echo C code goes here | gcc"); isn't a good Java practise. |
#300149 (505/589) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<ninjapirate> sometimes i hear "Eye of the tiger" when i'm masturbating.
<ninjapirate> that's how glorious my penis is
<jaban> "so many times it happens too fast"
<jaban> "you must fight just to keep [it] alive"
<jaban> thinking of that part in particular? |
#295355 (226/338) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
NewClear4: did you win the argument?
ccmods: From the perspective that I was correct, yes. From the perspective that arguing with a 13 year old kid whose voice was cracking, no. |
#294756 (16/222) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
< n0p> hey i'm looking for a php web-based front end to control linux files and permissions. can anyone suggest any decent open source projects?
<+bradD> igotrooted-0.2
< n0p> link me
< n0p> pls? |
#207998 (146/278) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<Fudoushin> I must've gotten into the Japanese language for the stupidest reason...
<Fudoushin> I like anime, Japanese video games (RPGs mainly), and manga.
<Fudoushin> So I majored in it in college. Which is really not that far removed from majoring in African-American Studies because you enjoy '70s blaxploitation films... |
#152796 (2/256) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
< madsara> I've found that if you take the average, normal google images search term - say "butter spray", and add the word "gay" to it... the results are completely different.
<@LadyNikon> madsara: well you are changing the data
< madsara> Heh, I love how everyone takes me so literally.
< madsara> Really, is that how it works?
< madsara> ... although I don't think I've ever going to use buttery spray again. |
#151230 (184/306) ↑Funny ↓Bad πOld
<LSnK> Defrag is one of those programs that gets more and more shit with each version of Windows.
<LSnK> 98: Real time view, you can see what it's doing and might even learn something.
<LSnK> XP: Boring line.
<LSnK> Vista: Never used it
<LSnK> I'm guessing it doesn't show anything at all.
<Falc> It's just a spinning disk.
<Falc> If Microsoft made cars you'd have a 'Hit speed limit light'
<Falc> As opposed to a conventional speedometer. |
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