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#311568 (58/68) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> the bigger question is why I am so fixated on personality disorders
<@digdug_> maybe you have pdfpd
<@digdug_> personality disorder fixation personality disorder
<@Dom`> pdfpd.pdf
<@Dom`> the document for pdfpd
#311564 (34/40) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
crond: to hell with emacs.
crond: emacs is like using a blender to chop your salad. you CAN do it, but it's overkill, and you just get sludge at the end.
whizzl: more like dropping your entire kitchen on the salad bowl
#311396 (47/53) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<graspee> fucking ipod shuffled onto guided meditation track and i fell asleep at the keyboard
#311366 (91/97) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* vens is now known as venz
<aciou> this is the internet equivalent of turning your cap backwards
#311335 (68/72) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< danl> being lazy and running everything as root is so much easier
< danl> lol
< danl> damn it
< danl> I screwed up my script and lost a years worth of access logs
#311315 (32/38) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<haq> so you get thermal cycling outside the projected envelopes, plus RoHS lead free solder means all your ball soldered components eventually crack away from the boards
<haq> i would strangle the last whale to death with a dorito bag if i could get real solder back in electronics
#311282 (51/65) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<AndyWojo> If I were coming up with a package manager, I'd name it just
<AndyWojo> 'just install tmux'
<AndyWojo> and instead of a -f for forcing dependencies: 'just fucking install tmux'
#311151 (32/54) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SmasherDynamo> !rolld100
<Ricky_Steambot> Rolled 69
<CraigK> nice.
<fairgame> nice
<Monicro> NICE
<Mon> nice
<DannoMack> nice
<Yaya> nice
<cthulhuwork> you guys are weird
<johnfw501> nice
Comment: #thesuperleague
#310721 (9/31) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jden> i only steal iwatches
<jden> from techdweebs
<jden> i can get real close to them and blend in, then i snatch it from them in line at philz
<jden> boom, $20k watch
<jden> fence it for $1k and you're golden
<jden> 6 of those and you've made rent for the month in sf
#309308 (37/77) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< vanu> what if like
< vanu> the higgs boson is the heart of a particle
< vanu> and it gives them mass because that is what keeps them ATTRACTED TO OTHERS
< vanu> oh shit
< vanu> i've solved it
<@sta|ker> no
<@sta|ker> you're juset high
< vanu> I'VE SOLVED IT ALL
#307740 (36/50) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<n0idx80> I have a very nice laptop with 4GB (takes 8) that the cpu fan makes a horrible noise, and I just can't bear to open it up
<Chainsaw> You feel that dust bunnies are animals too and deserve to live?
#306775 (31/59) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize
#303166 (32/50) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<indigo> some of my fish are not very smart.
<indigo> i have some that are small catfish (1-2") with a sucker mouth
<indigo> i startled some, and they jumped above the waterline and clung to the glass in the air.
#276906 (53/75) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
xxx: told my boyfriend I wanna wake up to oral pleasure
xxx: and I woke up in the morning, cuz he was trying to stick his dick into my mouth
xxx: fuck
#309219 (29/45) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Kain_Dragoon> lol..... just ran google translate on a page full of names of hentai doujinshi
<@Kain_Dragoon> its funny shit
<@Kain_Dragoon> its so literal
<@Kain_Dragoon> Relocation of the capital hundred raw vagina
<@Kain_Dragoon> ROFL
<@Zinic> And this is why I don't do this
#307252 (49/79) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
HelgeSverre: ....
Lemmiwinks: You make some very good points
Lemmiwinks: .,.,, mine are all wonky
#304001 (45/87) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Liam: Are you familiar with Cleverbot?
Scaramouche: Yes.
Scaramouche: She's fun.
Liam: I have two instances of cleverbot talking to each other.
Liam: Although a lot of what they're saying is quite dadaistic
Liam: -Why are all your family and friends working?
-We are not.
-Yes you are.
-Why do you think so?
-Because your math skills are horrible. 198 minus 7 is 191.
-My marbles are right where I need them. Under the feet of my enemies...
Liam: -I have no marshmallows.
#300564 (33/61) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Alpha_Bling: You know what a masked booby bird is?
Alpha_Bling: from galapagos islands?
BadSpoon: probably similar to a bearded tit
#300402 (47/65) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<lewwy> so i invited some chicks over tomorrow night to build a computer
<lewwy> cuz they're sorta interested in how computers work etc etc
<lewwy> but they cancelled on me this morning...
<Splinton> Ah, thats not good.
<lewwy> yeah i wonder if i scared them off after i started reffering to at as "wild unprotected pc building"
<Splinton> ...
#258726 (45/57) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<AtoB> I needed an extra xp cd, so i downloaded one and formatted my computer. When i was about to reinstall, i found out that i had forgot to burn the cd...
#311302 (40/72) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dn5> I have int start = 1476620495; and int end = 1476620495 (unix timestamp), but if I have int res; and then res = end - start, res returns 0 when printf with %d
<dn5> why?
<izalove> because it's the same number?
<fstd> duh
<dn5> okay thats not supposed to happen haha
<fstd> ,reset
<candide> Days since our last accident: 0
Comment: ##c at freenode
#311121 (40/80) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<atom_bomb> my girlfriend has been pressuring me to write a book about about my engineering methodology
<atom_bomb> (after i told her how much money the agile software alliance makes)
<atom_bomb> my methodology is essentially a longwinded justification of procrastination
<atom_bomb> it just happens to be scrum-compatible and highly effective
#306043 (26/116) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Akensai: if there is a hell, im going to it.
Akensai: research paper due: april 11 - i wrote it 10 minutes ago
Akensai: and i wont lose any points.
Akensai: opened an image in notepad, renamed it to research-final.docx and submitted, knowing full well it would take him 2 weeks to grade
(7:22:21 AM) Akensai: so i get an email an hour ago "The doc you submitted is corrupt, can you email it to me real fast? Sorry about this."
Akensai: so i wrote it in about 45 minutes and sent it
Akensai: he read it, got an A
Akensai: most of it was bullshit and broken reference links that i purposely placed, fake URLS to highly prestigious colleges/etc, just broke links and made em look real
Akensai: not my fault is a source is MIA
Akensai: 3 pages of made up crap that i didnt research, turned in more than a week late, written in 45 minutes. 98% A
#301914 (25/109) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Stormgren> She's sorta hitting on him
<Stormgren> but she's a known oddball
<Stormgren> like if you broke up with her, you'd find squirrel skulls hanging on your doorknob crazy
<Jesus> cleaned skulls, or still bloody?
<Jesus> also, does that crazy translated into depraved sexual acts?
<muchomas> depraved or not, it'll end in tears
<Dopey> is she single?
#300966 (28/142) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
******: they say that an oracle dba, having passed all oracle exams and received every oracle certification, can kill a man with a single sql query
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