|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev123456..559Next> |
#306996 (127/165) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<scoff> I owe Toronto a visit at some point
<Mr_Shfty> outstanding warrants?
<scoff> Well, they're okay but I wouldn't say they're outstanding |
#306409 (141/175) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
< iFarmer> I've come to the conclusion that the employees of my local library are idiots
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!"
< iFarmer> I scan the QR code. It says:
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!" |
#303993 (134/162) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Octopussy> i need to do something about this irc font
<&Shark> make it comic sans
<Octopussy> it looks all weirdy without fixed width
<Octopussy> yes, i should try comic sans first
<Octopussy> now everyone looks like an idiot
<Octopussy> i'll keep comic sans for a while |
#303849 (118/162) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Iridium> Alcohol is starting to fail me as a coping mechanism.
<PlanetDollar> drink more
<Iridium> Obviously that was my first step
<Iridium> but I can only drink so much before it becomes tomorrow, at which point I'm back to square one.
<PlanetDollar> smoke weed
<Iridium> I don't have the experience of smoking copious amounts of weed but I imagine there'd be a similar difficulty.
<PlanetDollar> you do build up a tolerance yes
<SentSix> I too fear that I'm going to have to start facing my problems.
<Iridium> WHOA WHOA whoa now
<Iridium> nobody said shit about facing problems |
#303759 (87/139) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
< ADINSX> where are you from thereyougo?
< thereyougo> finland
< thereyougo> when in 3rd grade we started english teacher asked what we can say in english
< thereyougo> it was all like "autobots, roll"Comment: #cobol
|
|
Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
|
#307080 (172/318) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<aNavi> i like my women how i like my video games
<dd7> 12 years old and made in japan?
<aNavi> yes
<aNavi> ah, fuck |
#306931 (293/355) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Jimbo> The best way for a baker to prevent his delicious cakes being stolen would be to cover them in dogshit and broken glass, but in doing so he would also kill his sales. Ubisoft are currently that baker. |
#306924 (170/282) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide? |
#306819 (235/327) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<MisfortuneCooki> so i had this group meeting
<MisfortuneCooki> where several groups had to make a model of some new building that serves a purpose on campus
<MisfortuneCooki> my group built a stripclub
<MisfortuneCooki> a hexagonal stripclub
<MisfortuneCooki> and we named it the sexagon
<MisfortuneCooki> and we WON |
#306764 (133/191) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<@carlsson> Today is the birthday of the IBM PC and the Berlin wall!
<@carlsson> I wonder which one has caused most grief and suffering. |
#306677 (225/327) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<maxson> honestly
<maxson> it's weird because
<maxson> normally, i'd get to know her better before asking her out
<Leaff> you're asking for relationship advice froma 12 year old?
<Leaff> oh
<Leaff> ok
<maxson> the only way i'm going to get to know her better is by asking her out
<maxson> so it's like a dilemma
<maxson> also yes
<maxson> irl this would be creepy
<Leaff> yup
<Leaff> irl me hanging out with you would be creepy
<maxson> yup
<Leaff> irl a lot of things that people do on the internet would be creepy
<maxson> like talk to people while looking at porn
<Leaff> exactly
<maxson> "hey james how's it going"
<maxson> "HRRNG oh fine URRRGH you?"
<Leaff> "are you fapping"
<Leaff> "LOL NOPE NOT AT ALL"
<Leaff> "DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU WOULD SUGGEST THAT"
<maxson> "did you piss your pants"
<maxson> "you're in the ballpark"
<Leaff> i think we should end this part of the conversation right now
<Leaff> before it gets
* Leaff sunglasses
<maxson> out of hand?
<Leaff> out of haFUCK YOU |
#306132 (84/234) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
< mike|laptop> osama bin laden was killed before duke nukem forever came out |
#306012 (233/339) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
panjohnl: Bad joke time! So Helium walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
panjohnl: Helium doesn't react.
panRJK: you know what I say to that?
panRJK: He He He |
#305734 (137/245) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Sylnai> I once wrote a game for DOS which provided tactile feedback if you had your hand inside the printer |
#305574 (146/234) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<@Timmeh> harrah, my dad got through his surgery well
<@Timmeh> so well in fact his main complaint is having to wear a hospital gown
<@Timmeh> first words through the door "hey dad, how're you feeling?" "I'm wearing a fucking dress, son" |
|
Subscribe to the RSS feed to get the latest approved quotes
|
#305523 (188/290) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
11:01 <tamara> i love peeing
11:01 <tamara> wanna see what i did to my boyfriend
11:01 <tamara> uh
11:01 <tamara> unrelated |
#305261 (120/218) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
* anarkoid has joined #ipsofacto
<anarkoid> HEY GUYS
<anarkoid> WHAT'S UP
<Save> lol caps much?
<anarkoid> oops
<anarkoid> i was writing youtube comments heh |
#305055 (142/250) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Nuvero> man, i think i just got trolled hard
<Nuvero> i was taking a dump, when I notice a Playboy is lying in the newspaper box, so I started reading it
<Nuvero> (reading it, no fapping, or anything)
<Nuvero> halfway through, I hear the door open, and a knife appeared
<Nuvero> i was like "holy fucking shit!" and started pulling my pants up real quick
<Nuvero> when the door fully open, and here is my dad, with a knife in his hand, taking a photo of me
<Nuvero> freaked out, trying to pull up my pants, with a Playboy in the hand
<Nuvero> i... don't know what to think. |
#304488 (146/244) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<octdave> i need to poop and eat
<octdave> ever ate a sandwich while pooping?
<octdave> I might try that, to save time
<officer_falcon> save even more time, just throw the sandwhich into the toilet
<officer_falcon> take out the middle man |
#304172 (125/209) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<teapot> and i have a fantasy about having 2 men at once: one for cooking, and one for cleaning
<Wolfram> teapot - yes, but what do you do after you've cooked the first man?
<LionMan> clean the other one, of course |
#304098 (220/312) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<@Eltu> "The main idea of "Inception": if you run a VM inside a VM inside a VM inside a VM, everything will be very slow" |
#303729 (132/186) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<+BadFish> Mmmm, emma watson
<+Watson> I find it disturbing that I was highlighted by your sexual fantasies |
#303720 (164/268) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<melvin47> dont you hate it when your printer malfunctions when you need to print something important?
<sourav405> dont you hate it when your pubic hairs get caught in your foreskin, and when you get an erection the force of the expansion pulls on them and makes it feel like your scrotum is being ripped apart?
<melvin47> dude what the FUCK |
#303631 (112/206) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<nukespoon> me and my brother are watching the same stream on our own computers
<nukespoon> i am half a second faster 8)
<Sebas> Make sure he doesn't catch up
<Sebas> You don't want to cross the streams |
#303235 (82/182) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny πOld
<Erik> I tried going outside once, but there was this thing that hurt my eyes, so I stayed in.
<Megan> sun?
<Megan> hehe
<Erik> no, ugly people.Comment: #theg-spot irc.chatfreedom.com
|
|
T-Shirt Hell: Shirts you'll never have the balls to wear in public
|
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev123456..559Next> |
|