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#309410 (10/54) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kentari> There's a huge disaster.
<kentari> The bodies are being piled up.
<kentari> How do they identify yours among the corpses?
<kentari> That's how I ask people to describe themselves on dates.
<Caltak> o_o
<kentari> it unsettles people and gives me two things: reactions, and time
<Caltak> Like, when you're already physically there with them and can see them?
<kentari> that way while they answer, I ignore them
<kentari> and I plan my next move :P
#308933 (153/171) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Eule> "cloud" aka "I think I'll put my files on a third-party service with unknown backup, retention, and future pricing policies, and hopefully they won't suddenly charge me too many thousands of dollars to get my own files back."
#306793 (0/136) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[21:09:49] <Charbile> something tells me we won't see aethereal for months
[21:13:17] * Aethereal has joined
#305934 (60/114) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(duckaroosky) so the whole time you were talking about minecraft for the couple of months i've been here
(duckaroosky) i always thought you were talking about that game on your computer where you guess where the mines are
(duckaroosky) and you have to clear it out
(duckaroosky) i just facepalmed when i realized it's not
Comment: VBIRC
#302711 (21/55) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Mike: this morning i had speech class, there was a talent show for extra credit
Mike: at the end the teacher got up and said he'd like to show us one of his talents
Mike: asked for a couple of volunteers
Mike: "i used to practice ju jitsu..."
Mike: he then proceeded to put a student in a choke hold
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#302651 (86/114) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ryan22> have you guys looked into getting a bug tracker. i recommend github or launchpad
<terinjokes> Bug #1 Unable to kick ryan22 [Status: Open] [Priority: Low]
<ryan22> heh
<BHSPitMonkey> Bug #1 status has changed: Assigned to Kaatje
* Kaatje has kicked ryan22 from #iphonelinux-dev (Kaatje)
<Kaatje> Bug #1 status has changed: Completed
#302263 (10/108) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
hulasikali.wala: k time to try flashing the zaurus
ressedue: arent you supposed to be on a honeymoon? :p
#301502 (38/110) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Bob: Just got a call from my mother to tell me that my "last remaining uncle died today". I said "last? I thought there were two left?" To which, she said, "Oh, [he] died last month. I thought I told you."
#299678 (35/67) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<m4tt> lol, still up huh?
<jm7316> There's porn to be watched, and damnit, someone has to do it
<m4tt> that is mighty selfless of you
<jm7316> I do what I can for humanity.
<m4tt> im not sure where we'd be without you
<jm7316> Overflowing with unindexed, unmetatagged, uncategorized pornography.
#295389 (-15/59) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@sxh> that's why i always keep the thing in my chair fully extended
<@sxh> i already thought of that
<@sxh> when my very first chair broke
<@sxh> and i was using the canister inside as a pogo stick
#240878 (-32/90) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<doc|work> hey, what happened thermopylae?
<ardchoille> he got burned out?
<ardchoille> He was fired?
<ardchoille> Got too hot under the collar?
<doc|work> ardchoille: btw, 7-11 here has giant slurpee vats
<doc|work> giant as in gallon sized probably
* ardchoille is still the king of bad puns
<doc|work> hence the change of subject :)
#308922 (605/731) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@i_c-Y> i had a nightmare yesterday that i bought 3 licenses of norton antivirus
#308906 (230/370) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
cyborg_ar: to do nothing for a cycle you put nop
MiX: wait, isn't it noop
MiX: like
MiX: no-op
cyborg_ar: yeah but the instruction is written as nop
cyborg_ar: because we programmers lazy
cyborg_ar: so save keystrokes
cyborg_ar: whenever can
#308894 (203/345) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
#308884 (58/310) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ss23> my nose is getting really sore, I think its from eating really spicy stuff with a cold
<ShaggyTwoDope> random rule of life
<ShaggyTwoDope> better your nose then your butt
<cksdayoff> Shaggy, did u learn that rule in prison
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#308868 (243/385) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<crikes> connection issues: the musical
<crikes> the protagonist enters stage left then exists immediately
<crikes> this continues for two hours
<crikes> it proves to be a massive hit
#308835 (-19/409) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Delta> should make a website for weird knitted stuff and call it itchy instead of etsy
#308179 (216/316) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<SkyLurker> my ex had four fleshlights
<SkyLurker> I named two of them and he never used those two again :(
* ZachPrime can't afford one of those atm
<SkyLurker> the mouth one was Hungry Mary
<SkyLurker> and the other one was Gaping Gloria
<SkyLurker> sometimes I would make them perform sex acts on each other
<&ZachPrime> ... why are you telling me this? >.>
<SkyLurker> I have been keeping it to myself all these years...
<SkyLurker> I just couldn't keep it a secret anymore
#305691 (233/341) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Raptor> Huh.  Discovering that the last time the file system was mounted is in the future scares linux.
<Celti> Yes. Linux needs special drivers for time travel.
<Raptor> I assume I can easily apt-get them?
<MrTrick> : time-travel installed successfully
<MrTrick> #> sudo apt-get install time-travel
#218044 (44/198) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
#308860 (141/213) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<judges119> Has anybody tried to eat the ingredients of a cake on the assumption the ingredients will be
<judges119> like the final product?
<mamacx> omg no
<maximumoffence> ...yes.
<maximumoffence> I was a stupid child
#308830 (143/199) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Ta`niik> I got a few assorted things at the store a half hour ago. I got a bunch of dirty looks while at the cash register. I didn't realize it until now that I had bought knife blades and halloween candy at the same time. >.<Comment: #CoS
#308806 (329/369) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<powersurge> god dammit
<powersurge> I go to dairy queen so often that google is asking me to set it as my work
<powersurge> stop judging me, google
#308803 (-35/183) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<andy> my OS X password generator seems to mostly do innuendo
#308799 (167/239) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Vyk> Ender, what happened with your motorcycle?
<Ender> Motorcycles are not good for deer hunting
<FiestaJoe> well you got it in one shot
<FiestaJoe> and it dropped right where it was hit
<FiestaJoe> cost of ammunition seems expensive though
<Ender> $6700 per shot
sadhat: low-noise, high-signal news
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