QDB: Latest Approved Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#302087 (57/103) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<pokoko222> are you guys allowed graphing calculators on exams?
<amine> no
* Kage is
* dx is not
<pokoko222> why i dont get it
<pokoko222> it is dumb
<dx> It depends on the exam
<pokoko222> why waste time finding 6 points when i can just push a button
<lament> that's my perspective on foreplay
#300379 (35/75) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: These faults are known as dip slips.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: The dip slip has a slot, called the dip slip keyhole.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Professor: The hanging wall is thrust upwards into the keyhole in the reverse dip slip fault.
<Asaph> That last one is NOT real.
<Pryo[Geo110]> it is, and I swear to god, this is the best class in the history of classes.
<Pryo[Geo110]> A 90 year old man just said "Dip Slip" over 50 times in under 5 minutes, in a completely legitimate scientific lecture. My life is complete.
#310109 (47/73) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<shree> there was a hackerspace in london
<shree> it had IP video cams, that you could point at different stuff, through the website
<shree> I used to go on there
<shree> watch the people
<shree> especially at night - some of them slept there
<shree> they would know I was there because the camera moved
<shree> some of them would cover it with stuff
<shree> it made me feel less lonely though
<shree> I felt like, them covering the camera, is real interaction in a way
Comment: #/g/sicp on Rizon
#309120 (125/161) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<chernobyl> Last night, Chewbacca and I were having a conversation in my billion dollar mansion about how much we hate people who lie on the Internet...
<mabus> well there's lying, and then there's exaggerating about your wife and apartment
#307486 (3/131) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<centrinia> I am going to make something similar to a home pregnancy test device.
<robb_www> but it will be made of RAZORBLADES
<robb_www> and it will always say "not anymore"
Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
#309784 (14/66) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Noseless> AirmanPika: you happen to know anyone working for NSA?
<AirmanPika> personally? no
<Noseless> ok
<sluissa> noseless: my dad knows a retired NSA employee... oddly enough he's one of those people who won't stop talking.
<ender|> has to make up for the time spent silent during work? :)
<sluissa> that's what I figure
<sluissa> 40 years spent unable to talk about anything, he's going to make up for it in the last 10
<Noseless> why I'm asking: I have an AES (iirc) encrypted bitcoin-wallet... I was hoping they could open it using their backdoor :D
#309395 (25/79) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BlackoutIsHere> Hey, how much space does it take to host a debian package repo?
<cZk> the same amount it did 7 years ago
Comment: Found in #ramnode @ irc.esper.net
#297618 (66/98) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Elleo> we should invent a dance called the Mersenne Twist
<@Elleo> where you just move about randomly
<@Elleo> but with an even distribution
#257924 (111/129) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Orbixx|Work> We just got hold of a workmate's phone as he went out on a break. We composed an SMS to all his contacts reading:
<Orbixx|Work> "I know your secret. Cant talk now. Chat later."
<Orbixx|Work> 3 replies so far.
<Orbixx|Work> He isn't back yet.
<Orbixx|Work> Brace for impact.
#301267 (28/100) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<segosa> hey guys, let's write a befunge program
<segosa> i'll go first
<segosa> >          v
<shawnz>            ^
<shawnz> oops
#302835 (36/78) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Somebody> Who knows, maybe you created AI, and have a bot speaking instead of you.
<fahadsadah> So what if I have?
<fahadsadah> Is that a crime?
<fahadsadah> Are you prejudiced against bots?
<fahadsadah> Brb, oil chang^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hperforming typical human activities
#301909 (75/115) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Sebas> Heh, so I have this "Insult Dictionary" which has witty insults for every occasion, as well as a translation into 4 different languages
<Sebas> But it seems that, although the translation is generally correct, every now and then they went for an interpretation instead
<Sebas> So "Moron" comes out as "Naked savage" in the German translation, and "Greasy bastard" becomes "Filthy Italian"
#310308 (87/103) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@swight> Ikea Bags Stuffed With Skeletons Found in Sweden
<@swight> good luck putting them back together
#310299 (34/68) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<JordiGH> I can't figure out what to name this module.
<JordiGH> misc.py it is, then
<JordiGH> Then I'll have etc.py, general.py, and other.py
<roryg_> wait until you have util.py, utils.py and utils2.py
<roryg_> "utils2.py: even more util"
Comment: Freenode #montrealpython
#309795 (71/91) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
GeDaMo| What's a moba?
sixthgear| GeDaMo: an RTS game where you control one unit
sixthgear| and be a dick to people online
sixthgear| those are the two main components
sadhat: low-noise, high-signal news
#309704 (104/144) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ButchDeLoria> hey guess what I got
<advi> a boner
<ButchDeLoria> worse
<ButchDeLoria> It starts with an M and ends with an R
<advi> midget boner
#309671 (33/75) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<zifnab> one of my old wow friends
<zifnab> always yelled "GET YOUR RAID CUP"
<zifnab> so we asked him what a raid cup was
<zifnab> "So I can urinate without getting up"
Comment: irc.gamesurge.net #RedditMC
#309104 (33/91) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Killswitch> nananananNANANANAN I CAN'T HEAR YOU
<powersurge> Killswitch: is that how batman ignores people?
#309095 (98/120) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nicks> you are going to invent a new microblogging platform
<nicks> where you can only send 20 characters per message
<Haz> twitter lets you get too complete of thoughts through you've got to really condense it to get the core of the message
<||bass> 20 bytes
<||bass> and it's all 32bit unicode
<||bass> and null terminated
<||bass> which gives us 4 characters
<||bass> so pretty much limits you to short sentences in chinese
<nicks> I can communicate a lot with four characters
<nicks> damn
<nicks> crap
<nicks> fuck
<nicks> shit
<nicks> piss
<||bass> dude
<||bass> stop
#308192 (76/110) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Ikthyrion> oh wow... finding stuff when you are drunk is really hard
<Ikthyrion> what was I looking for?
<Ikthyrion> I found a cat
<&ZachPrime> you were looking for your phone
#305702 (89/113) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+Polynomial> my favourite pastime when I worked as a techie was putting horse porn in random system folders on customer machines
<+Polynomial> it surved two purposes
<+Polynomial> first it was funny as fuck if they found it
<+Polynomial> second it meant I could tell which ones I'd serviced before
#303934 (34/102) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< niekie> Someone said to someone else "There's a hole in your shirt."
< niekie> That was just the perfect moment for me to say "That's better than the other way around."
#302601 (42/64) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
snookums: today was just another first interview
snookums: she told me to go find a seat the furthest down the way.. so i'm sitting there and for 15 minutes i'm getting antsy sitting there so i start messing with my resume.. at that point i realised the third page of my resume papers was a coupon for yogurt
#301808 (132/172) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Flack> hey guys whats the link to that website that goes through a little animation telling you to google things
#309109 (101/119) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> ....
<Pryoidain> I just fucking got OWNED by a plastic bag
<Pryoidain> So I finished my twizzlers right and I had this 1 gallon plastic bag with a double seal thing
<Pryoidain> so i closed it up real tight and used a straw to inflate it to bursting, then sealed it
<Pryoidain> and i sat it on my desk chair and plopped down on it HARD to try and pop it
<Pryoidain> fucker shot out behind me, I flew forward face to desk, chair went backward, I fell off the desk and slammed my fucking head on the wall, and then the bag fell, still inflated, onto my lap
Subscribe to the RSS feed to get the latest approved quotes
save page | share <Prev1..3456789..577Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
0.004 (3) 14,339 quotes approved; 9,863 fermenting; karma: 191.8289