|#307798 (62/88) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<vera> i always ask them if they are having an abortion first because it was awkward that one time i was like look heres your baby and heres his heart beating and she was like ok can you take it out of meComment: Vera is a doctor.
|#311057 (73/103) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Amy> some animals don't have tails, i guess a snake is an example of the opposite
<Amy> where the tail doesn't have an animal
|#311034 (35/89) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Agentimoline> what does fnord even mean
<Celti> Fnord is evaporated herbal tea without the herbs.
<Celti> Or if you prefer, fnord is toast without bread.
<Celti> Fnord is where they keep the unused serifs for sans-serif fonts.
<Celti> Fnord... is the echo of silence.
<Celti> Fnord is a colour only blind people can see.
<Celti> Fnord is why LISP has so many parentheses.
<Celti> Fnord is a four-leaf clover — with a missing leaf.
<Celti> Fnord is neither a particle nor a wave.
<Celti> Fnord is the space in between the pixels on your screen.
<Celti> Fnord is the smallest number greater than zero.
<Celti> Fnord lives in the empty space above the decimal point in that number.
<Celti> Fnord is the founding father of the phrase "founding father".
<Celti> The fnords will eat you if you're not careful.
<Celti> If you try and see them.
<Celti> They're everywhere, if you look. But don't look. Fnord.
<Celti> Does that answer the question sufficiently?
<Celti> I can't really go on.
<Celti> It's too dangerous.
|#311005 (43/85) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Analogy> So I just got an audio book, but it was in another language so I had to listen with subtitles
|#311004 (28/68) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<contra> i love the dentist
<contra> they rip out your teeth and give you pills
<contra> its like dating an abusive drug dealer
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|#311000 (82/100) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Pen Straw> the earth is actually flat but it rotates like a doom sprite when anyone tries to look at a different angle
|#310980 (19/61) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<asterick> Does anyone ever feel like jQuery is kinda like bill cosby?
<asterick> Like, everyone used to REALLY love him, but then someone said "I was totally raped by jQuery" then all of a sudden everyones like "DUDE ME TOO"
|#311079 (23/41) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<snesbot> Do you think love can bloom even on a battlefield?
<Screwtape> I do not.
<Jistuce> Love can't bloom on a battlefield because love is a battlefield.
<Screwtape> And we can't have nested battlefields, that would be *crazy*.
<Screwtape> What is this, Disgaea?
<Jistuce> Pretty sure it's The Sims.
|#311003 (34/52) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<manderson> I decided to surprise visit my mom for thanksgiving.
<manderson> She answered the door and asked, "can I help you?" and looked confused.
<manderson> Yeah, then it all went downhill.
<manderson> It took less than 5 minutes before she asked me to fix her computer.
<manderson> You haven't seen me in two years and *that* is what you want?
|#310983 (63/81) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<luper> we forced this one guy with a long-ass beard to wear a beard net because his beard DID get caught in a server rack
|#310978 (84/92) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<!spaghetti> What's that thing deaf people have
< FrobtheBuilder> peace and quiet?
|#310957 (97/111) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
h34rts0me: area man discovers new dimension, becomes volume man
|#310941 (55/65) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
Chillum: the most evil thing I have ever made is a tiny USB stick that when inserted in a computer pretends to be a keyboard and turns on/off CAPS LOCK every minute or so randomly
Chillum: it drives people insane
dmacks_away: Luckily I have a case-insensitive filesystem and a shell that is so crappy it doesn't even realize when a command is miscapitalized.
legoktm: you use PHP as your shell?
|#310934 (16/36) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<+wowaname> was gonna do this
<~c4t> so much easier
* sv sets mode: +b File!*@*
* sv sets mode: +"<srig>,1 line
* sv sets mode: +b for!*@*
* sv sets mode: +e +!*@*
* sv sets mode: +xr(23):?*@uw. print
* sv sets mode: +b ^!*@*
* sv sets mode: +b SyntaxError:!*@*
* sv sets mode: -b File!*@*
* sv sets mode: -"<string>,l
* sv sets mode: -b for!*@*
* sv sets mode: -x(23):+?"*@ugw.i
* sv sets mode: -b ^!*@*
* sv sets mode: -b SyntaxError:!*@*
* sv sets mode: -i
<+wowaname> whatever the fuck that was
<+wowaname> hold on
<~c4t> lol what did you do
<+wowaname> fucked up the ircd
* sv sets mode: +y wowaname
|#310922 (30/40) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<whyrusleeping> last time i went to ikea i left with a bunch of artistic twigs and a different girlfriend
<whyrusleeping> still have the twigs
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|#310894 (37/43) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<@witheld> Well, my computer from the age of 3 to about 10 was this frankenstein build that a family friend built us running 95. When I first started using it I just used a program called "baby type" which created various noises and visualizations from pressing buttons and messing with the mouse
<@witheld> And then when I was 10 or so the mexican guy gave me my own windows 98 computer
<@witheld> mexican guy down the street*
<@KittyKatt> Oh, I thought you meant THE mexican guy.
<@KittyKatt> Like, everyone was supposed to get their computer from the mexican guy at the age of 10.
|#310881 (38/58) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<StoneCyp1erAW> dude i just met a fourth person named chance.
<StoneCyp1erAW> WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
|#310795 (10/26) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<PFY> We should have a tattoo like the scarlet letter
<PFY> "I deployed on a friday"
<PFY> that way you knew what you were getting into at interviews
|#310794 (52/62) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<anodos_> good entropy source - leave a newbie with a file open in vi, ask him to exit it, and track all the keystrokes
|#310758 (19/25) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<BadSpoon> I keep thinking... if I were the guy who actually used all the lifehacks he found online, I'd be the most annoying guy in the world
|#310732 (39/45) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<camel> > Do you have a full-time job? > No > We're sorry, you do not qualify for this survey.
<camel> Why the fuck would I be doing a $2 30 minute survey
<camel> if I had a full time job
|#310654 (17/43) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Jigsy^Vol> My favorite episode of Star Wars was when Kirk got assimilated by the Darleks.
|#310629 (57/63) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<TonyTheLemur> they tested our tornado siren a couple mornings ago
<Glaug-Eldare> did she attract any tornadoesComment: #foxie
|#310585 (24/34) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
< rycuda> Well, turns out that I need glasses
< BrainoMite> rycuda, walk into the wall again?
< rycuda> BrainoMite: close, I walked into an optician
|#310561 (25/33) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Jigsy> I've got NP problems. But P ain't one.
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