QDB: Latest Approved Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#306523 (258/360) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Chelsea: My mom just found out that furries exist
Chelsea: Because she SAW some
Chelsea: TWICE
Chelsea: and she keeps asking why I think they're creepy
Maddie: OH GOD
Chelsea: and i dont want to be like
Chelsea: "mom"
Chelsea: "i have to level with you"
Chelsea: "furries don't just enjoy dress up"
Chelsea: but anyway she was like "they were cute! they looked like they were having fun! why are they creepy?"
#306048 (137/255) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Man18> friends dog had to be put down today
<Man18> i told him damn man thats ruff in a text message
<Man18> he deleted me on facebook
Comment: #gbatemp.net
#303743 (192/216) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> guy just called from a phone company
<@Rjx> my battery is actually running out
<@Rjx> and he's introducing himself, saying where he's from
<@Rjx> I just said buddy, I've got 5% battery left, what's the deal
<@Rjx> "are you interested in buying anything?" no "thanks"
<@Rjx> I need to try that every time
#303665 (152/214) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Azazial> My mom is a very nice and helpful person with an extremely strange world view.  I dunno if I've ever told this one over here, but my mom does not believe in something that is very common.  Something that you are most likely using right now!
<&Summer> Your mom doesn't beleive in the internet?
<@Azazial> Nope.  She's merely inept at the internet.
<@Azazial> The magical item that she does not believe in is.... atoms.
<@Azazial> It gets better, however.  Her husband is a PhD research chemist!
#176290 (176/230) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Tiberius> i get my women the same way a lion gets his prey
<+int16h> Stalking them?
<Ves> idiots who fall in the cage?
Subscribe to the RSS feed to get the latest approved quotes
#171657 (150/188) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< evitable> i always rather liked badminton
< evitable> except for the time i hit a shuttlecock into a tree
< evitable> then lost a racket trying to get it out
< evitable> lost a rake tryin to get the racket
< evitable> and lost a fucking 2x4 trying to get anything
< evitable> then ruined my pants with sap
#305502 (137/163) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<inetknght> uhhh, oops
<inetknght> i was fucking around with ipv6 settings on my work's server and accidentally disabled ipv4 on it
<inetknght> ...without ipv4, i have zero method of remoting in to fix that so that the point-of-sale systems still function
<inetknght> suppose i still have remote access to another machine on the network... any idea how to remote in through link-local ipv6 to re-enable that shit so i dont get a call tomorrow morning?
* ~Genesis2001 prepares coffee for inetknght
<~Genesis2001> you'll need it :v
#308567 (248/288) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Cypher: So I just let a cat in
Cypher: fed it a bit
Cypher: had it sit on my lap for the better part of an hour
Cypher: and I've only just realised it isn't actually my cat
#308549 (60/126) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Twinge> Saw the word 'spaghetti' and assumed people were talking about code.  Was not disappointed.
#307315 (91/191) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cansado> decode this while i poop: dWggb2gsIG15IGFudXMgaXMgZGlsYXRpbmch
<jph> jph@hellcat:[ttys005]:~/Downloads$ echo dWggb2gsIG15IGFudXMgaXMgZGlsYXRpbmch | base64 -d ; echo
<jph> uh oh, my anus is dilating!
<jph> cans: fuck you
#302144 (28/198) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dangerousgeom> wow, your forehead has a language?
<dangerousgeom> that's impressive
<sos> every forehead has a language, just try using it for tying stuff
<sos> typing*
<dangerousgeom>  v njm v
<dangerousgeom> mine seems to have a speech impediment
#297656 (-88/182) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Carly: Hmm... I was wondering what that sound was... and why my leg was getting wet
#295369 (59/185) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Illing> can anyone recommend a good cult?
#237243 (46/128) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Poromenos> Getting a bill passed is like getting a story on the reddit frontpage, only in the Senate you're trying to get as many people to game the system as possible
<knight666> So Digg is a more accurate representation of the U.S. Senate?
#308534 (187/239) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< CoJaBo> Update: The object seen landing near Gale Crater on MSD 49,269 at around 05:50:16 AMT local time has been conclusively identified by the Martian Space Agency to be a weather balloon. Due to possible radioactive contamination, Mars citizens are forbidden to approach Gale Crater until further notice.
The London Vandal Store, you should check it out.
#308523 (108/142) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Treeki> "Final Fantasy 13-2" reminds me of European TV channel names
<@Treeki> Spain has a channel named laSexta (theSixth)
<@Treeki> and laSexta2, and laSexta3
<@Treeki> Britain has the Channel 4 network, which has Channel 4, More4, E4 and Film4
<@Treeki> and timeshifted versions: Channel 4+1, More4+1, E4+1 and Film4+1
<@Treeki> they recently launched a new channel, 4seven
<@Treeki> I'm just waiting for 4seven+1 for maximum confusion
#308242 (122/152) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+stereo__> if i spend like, $100-$200 on a phone case, fuck if i'm letting it get damaged.  i'd put it in another case
#308166 (138/186) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<macduff> I bought Jake and his wife a fuck swing for their wedding present.
<h00k> How thoughtful.
<macduff> He claims they don't use it, but I've been to their house and in the corner of the bedroom there's a fern hanging from a suspiciously large eye bolt.
#308135 (186/204) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
sammy: Okay..being a mod is like playing Sims because you have all this power...you create a world for your people...you try to make it safe...happy...you monitor it to stop problems...you check their needs and try to meet them...but no matter what you do, sooner or later people are going to stand around waving their arms and yelling illegibly about something you've done wrong.
<TheBeeSingsWithMalice> And then you start herding them into the pool and taking out the ladders...
#308081 (173/213) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<beeba> is this where i report issues?
<acous> you're nearly there beeba... in 26 minutes a short nordic man will enter, order a hamburger and leave without paying, follow him, but don't get too close. by the time he reaches the park he will have removed a pocket watch from his breast pocket.
<acous> then and only then, say to him, "dear lord, is that the time"
<acous> he will hand you a small red envelope with further instructions
#308521 (80/152) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> I saw the new (old) arp-ing joke post on qdb, and just for a split second of amusement, set every device on my network to have the same IP as my laptop.
<Pryoidain> Now in my head, the intended result was for my lil ultrabook to ask the router "Hey who am I? Here's my IP." and think it had suddenly become a sun box
<Pryoidain> In reality, I turned the next 57 minutes of my monday morning into a frantic scrabbling to get the network back functional before I had to leave for work, and ended up giving myself a migraine.
#308510 (119/153) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<JCDenton> Am I the only one who seems to spend more time fixing stupid trivial errors when programming than real issues?
<nathan28> JCDenton: lolwut
<nathan28> that is programming
#308490 (108/142) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<PyroPyro> a guy just fax'd me a paper with text "i dont know how this works i will just email the doc to you"
#308477 (52/104) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<grawity> hm, ranger is a cool file manager.
<chrise> What if I have uncool files that I want to manage?
<grawity> you cool them
#304048 (-208/358) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cumthinker> ( .   __ . ) . o O ( cum )
Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
save page | share <Prev1..3456789..569Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
0.136 (3) 14,139 quotes approved; 9,824 fermenting; karma: 189.6697