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#310713 (43/57) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Somasis> peter anvin has a pet python named perl
<tanderson> since it's a python, perl can C its tail, but because of the forked tongue it speaks with a lisp; his mother Julia always corrected him, but unfortunately was bash'ed in the head by an accidentally dropped cup of java.
<Somasis> oh my god
<tanderson> Thank you, I'll be here all week
<Somasis> that was just criminal
<tanderson> He was sed for a time, but decided to go forth and ultimately met Ada, gave her a ruby ring, and lived happily ever after.
<Somasis> STOP
#309716 (88/116) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LAMMJohnson> So here's my point;
<MarisaKirisame> that's a semicolon
Comment: #/g/sicp on irc.rizon.net
#305552 (47/69) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Millions> wafn has nothing because he is a decrepit fraud whose only claim to fame is sustenance on cat food in abandoned libraries in the jungle
<wafn> I never ate cat food fuck you
<Millions> why not
<wafn> no can opener
#303989 (18/40) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MurderMachine> Okay so,
<MurderMachine> My resits so far
<MurderMachine> Have been interesting.
<Magnus> orly
<MurderMachine> Yes.
<MurderMachine> I had a question about yeast and part of it was to list why it can be bad for humans.
<MurderMachine> To start with, I rambled on about yeast infections, thrush, etc., but then I really wanted more.
<MurderMachine> So I wracked my brains and wrote, I shit you not:
<MurderMachine> "Well, if you think about it, yeast indirectly contributes to alcohol abuse. Alcoholism, and therefore yeast, destroys lives."
<MurderMachine> Even if they don't see the funny side, it's a valid point.
#300740 (44/78) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Brian> Hey hey, want to apply for a job at my work?
<Jeremy> Sure, I guess :) What would they need from me?
<Brian> A resume, cover letter, employment history, maybe urine
<Jeremy> I'm guessing they don't want me to mail that last one in :-D
<Brian> No, the last one is for my personal enjoyment.
#309171 (64/90) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aji> suppose that X is the most annoying thing
<Brando753> ok
<aji> let Y be "nerds arguing about X"
<aji> by the Brando753 principle, Y is more annoying than X
<aji> therefore, no such X can exist
#304056 (55/83) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pherricoxide> walmart.. I tried to hack into their systems during my bored time
<pherricoxide> surprisingly didn't get very far
<pherricoxide> I did manage to screw up my badge once though
<pherricoxide> I entered my badge info into the item database
<pherricoxide> so when I tried to swipe my badge to log into things
<pherricoxide> it.. would display the price instead
-*- pherricoxide was worth $0.99
Comment: #wolf on irc.esper.net
#306433 (58/84) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crowbar> grg: no it's not hemriaging, but it's not profitable.
<kyleman7> hemorrhaging
<grg> hemorrhoids
<spacey> just remember any word with 'rrh' in it is bad news.
<spacey> diarrhea, hemorrhaging, gonorrhea
<grg> rhinorrhagia
<grg> fancy word for nose bleed :D
<grg> Rhacophorus achantharrhena
<grg> a frog!
<spacey> frogs are bad news. Just ask the people at Jurassic Park
<grg> Collared Sparrowhawk (Accipiter cirrhocephalus)
<grg> lol... this one is the best
<grg> acephalorrhachia
<grg> "congenital absence of the head and spinal column"
<spacey> yeah, I'd say that's pretty bad news
#300545 (-39/141) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ice_cream> ok ok i'll chill
#309447 (96/108) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Spark> so guys
<Spark> in animal crossing
<Spark> characters sometimes take the first letter of your name
<Spark> and make a nickname
<Spark> for example, J-dog, or H-muffin or something
<Spark> well
<Spark> my character is named nick
<Spark> and someone decided it'd be a good idea
<Spark> to call me "N-word"
#309205 (74/96) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< radiofree> around the time the UK was planning to introduce id cards, i was walking down the high street and some hippy handed me a flyer "NO2ID", a campaign group opposed to government id cards, stating things like privacy etc...
< radiofree> at the bottom it said "Join our facebook group"
#310896 (21/41) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Rjx> the thing that bothers me most is the question mark
<+Thero> ?
#309009 (33/59) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Celti ambles off to locate comestibles.
<Godwinson> We've secretly replaced Celti's comestibles with combustibles, let's see if he notices!
<Godwinson> Does that mean that humans are powered by an internal comestion engine?
<Celti> Unlike an internal combustion engine, an internal comestion engine works better when you dump sugar into the gas tank.
#308049 (62/94) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> you can talk a population into going to war or domestic surveillance
<@Rjx> but free healthcare and legalizing harmless plants
<@Rjx> not quite as easy
#305896 (34/78) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LowBatteryLife> Vengines.
<LowBatteryLife> A car that runs on anger.
#311199 (21/61) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<the_map> I'm a bit upset that bash.org doesn't have anything like, "Ursula sets mode -v Ariel"
#310814 (40/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<robin> everyone knows that CS undergrads are an excellent source of enterprise-grade software
<robin> they rigorously follow best practices
<robin> use advanced version control systems like copy&rename
<robin> and nothing clears up a confusing section of spaghetti code as well as /* drunk */
<muffin> robin: I used to attend some of the local CS undergrad meetups while in uni
<robin> muffin: orly?
<muffin> At that time I was learning some versioning practices that were supposed to alleviate my project issues at that time
<muffin> Anyway, I asked a few tips on git
<muffin> And one guy first asked me what git is. Then proceeded to tell me that I should use dropbox
<GeneralAntilles> wow
<GeneralAntilles> That's pretty pro.
#309709 (37/63) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wushin> Yeah, but I'm a sysadmin so to me, hacks, spam and other exploits are like pokemon and I got to catch them all.
#300986 (78/112) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@luke-jr_> what is the world coming to? Debian stable has a newer version of Perl than Gentoo testing.
#305948 (36/60) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ttvd> these msvc error messages are so Zen
<ttvd> it's like a freaking koan, you get it, then you ponder on it for like forever
<ttvd> and then the answer is completely something else, totally not related
Comment: EFNet #C++
#310872 (24/40) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< wushin> bjorn not ded, bjorn is parent, parents are zombies because children are parasites
< wushin> Trust me, I'm someone's father.
< Kage> wushin: I would see a doctor about it
< wushin> We did several times.
< wushin> #KidsAreExpensive
#310576 (54/58) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@kitchen> I logged into yahoo account after probably 100 years of not. got email "unexpected login attempt" even yahoo wasn't expecting me to ever log in again
#309242 (57/81) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Elizacat> our government couldn't stop a baby from choking on a plastic bag if it was on the congressional floor
<Elizacat> half of the house would say the baby should be allowed to die
<Elizacat> from its own stupidity
<Elizacat> and the other half would be too busy attaching riders to the bill to take the bag off the baby's head
<Elizacat> so in the end, the bill to remove the bag from its head, would contain funding packages for at least 10 gov't agencies
<Elizacat> then the senate would bicker that it's GOP legislation to remove the bag and that there should be a total ban on all bags everywhere
<Elizacat> in the end a supreme court ruling would rule it's unconstitutional to remove the bag from the baby's head, rendering it moot
<Elizacat> during all this
<Elizacat> obama just stays silent
<Elizacat> and prefers to focus on the fiscal cliff
<Andy> DISTRACTION
#305935 (33/69) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< JustBurn> that was only fun if we were still in the DOS ear
< JustBurn> *era
< abadidea> DOS ear? is that what you get if you play games which only use the beeper for too long
< abadidea> sorry, i can't hear you over the ringing, i have a bad case of dos ear ;<
Comment: #nesdev
#305207 (68/86) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<stump> I like working early, then after work I can do activities
<shifomg> wait, you have a life? when did that happen!?
<stump> I meant Legos
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