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AllBestWeekMonthRandom<Prev1..48495051525354..313Next> |
#310572* (?/1) ⚐Flag
<GeorgeKe> look up trilateration and grindr and you'll see you can locate virtually anyone in the world on those networksComment: grindr should charge more
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#310613* (?/1) ⚐Flag
<Protonus> i swear to god if the Apple watch causes smartwatches to become illegal in NY, I will drive my car into Cupertino on fire |
#311682* (?/23) ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> The optimist said: "The glass is half full."
<Jigsy> The pessimist said: "The glass is half empty."
<Jigsy> The arch user said: "i use arch btw." |
#311685* (?/13) ⚐Flag
<ecchi> I don't want to go off the grid and start drawing my own hentai to fap to, it's kind of a big price to pay for no annoying router leds |
#306254* (?/53) ⚐Flag
Alan: Going to a barbecue with coworkers second weekend in a row
Matthew: ha
Alan: know how often that happened at my last jobs?
Alan: none
Matthew: but you did go to gay-fests with a gay coworker all the time at your old job.
Alan: true
Alan: that was fun
Alan: other than being weirded out in the bathrooms, i enjoyed hanging out with them gays |
#307640* (?/41) ⚐Flag
Bran: why do i keep hitting ctrl w
Lime Flavored Dragon: idk
Bran: Oh man
Lime Flavored Dragon: but stop doing that
Bran: reminds me of 8th grade Comp Sci
Lime Flavored Dragon: lol
Jacen left chat.
Bran: My teacher would randomly tell people
Bran: Hit Ctrl-W, quick!
Jacen entered chat.
Lime Flavored Dragon: lol
Bran: Did you wonder what Ctrl W did Jacen?
Jacen: Dammit. I pushed ctrl+w to see what it does
Bran: lmao
Lime Flavored Dragon: lololol
Nugget=ep left chat.
Nugget=ep entered chat.
Nugget=ep: oh that's what it does |
#209887* (?/41) ⚐Flag
<FekketCantenel> ... so I figure finding the state pandemic plan will be hard
<FekketCantenel> I go to the site
<FekketCantenel> Arkansas Influenza Pandemic Plan (PDF - 180 KB)
<FekketCantenel> I love the internet sometimes.
<FekketCantenel> ..................................
<FekketCantenel> The requested URL /pandemic_influenza/pandemic_influenza_plan.pdf was not found on this server.
<FekketCantenel> I fucking hate the internet sometimes. |
#212952* (?/41) ⚐Flag
<apo> "You couldn't spot a pop culture reference if one skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus."Comment: #xkcd
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#300600* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<Lisa> oi how can i check how much giggage my pc has
<Lewwy> giggage, lol
<Lewwy> Ok hit ctrl+alt+del at the same time
<Lewwy> on the tap up the top that has "Performance" written on it, click it
<Lewwy> then it'll say "total memory (mb)"
<Lewwy> whats under that?
<Lisa> it says 10315233
<Lewwy> mmk
<Lewwy> so either you have more memory than NASA, or you read it wrong |
#218817* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<YOLI> WHAT YEAR HEAVE
<YOLI> I HEAVE 24
<Sir_GOaT> That's a whole lot of heaving. |
#300157* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<GenericLoser> A Native American goes to check into a hotel.
<GenericLoser> The clerk asks, "Do you have a reservation?" |
#300155* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<@tkmr> JEsus doesn't love faggots likeyou
* @tkmr is loved by Jesus
* @tkmr loves and accepts Jesus as my one and only saviour
* @tkmr is going to force every other person on the planet to love and accept Jesus as their saviour
<mpi> jesus knows where to go
<@tkmr> Straight to my pants
<@tkmr> Jesus let me stick it in his bumComment: #kilo-tango
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#307366* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<+MPR\splat> NO! DO NOT RUN! WE SHALL TAKE OUR STAND HERE VALIANTLY AGAINST THE NERDS!
<+MPR\splat> I ROLL A D20 FOR INITIATIVE!
<+MPR\splat> wait, shit
<@this1neguy> roll 1d20, over 10 takes a stand
<@this1neguy> roll y/n
<+MPR\splat> yes
<+MPR\splat> i'm even listening to battle music
<@this1neguy> result: 9
<+MPR\splat> SHIT
<@this1neguy> use your token of luck for a second roll?
<+MPR\splat> okay
<@this1neguy> result: 4
<@this1neguy> You fail to take a stand, and trip over a rock, falling over the edge of the cliff.
<@this1neguy> You plunge into the rocky waters behind you.
<@this1neguy> Roll 1d10 to attempt to save yourself? Under 5 survives the fall.
<+MPR\splat> uh yeah
<+MPR\splat> fine
<@this1neguy> MPR\splat rolls 1d10.
<@this1neguy> Result: 3.
<+MPR\splat> WELL FUCK YOU BITCH
<+MPR\splat> I CAST MAGIC MISSILE
<@this1neguy> MPR\splat survives the fall by grabbing a branch.
<+MPR\splat> AND THEN I CAST MAGIC MISSILE AT IT
<@this1neguy> MPR\splat casts MAGIC MISSILE at the branch, blowing it up.
<@this1neguy> MPR\splat resumes falling into the water.
<+MPR\splat> THEN I CAST MAGIC MISSILE AT THE DM
<+MPR\splat> AND KILL HIM BEFORE I HIT THE WATER
<+MPR\splat> FREE OF MY BONDS AT LAST, I MANIPULATE SPACETIME AS I PLEASE
<+MPR\splat> AND SAVE MYSELF
<@this1neguy> Roll 1d6 to attempt MAGIC MISSILE cast at DM. Natural 6 kills the DM.
<@this1neguy> Roll?
<+MPR\splat> you're already dead but okay I'll kill the zombie dm
<@this1neguy> (I set the rules so you can't just kill the DM at your will.)
<+MPR\splat> you suck
<@this1neguy> MPR\splat rolls 1d6 to attempt to cast MAGIC MISSILE at the DM. Result: 6.
<+iPie> dude
<+MPR\splat> [final fantasy victory theme]
<@this1neguy> HE ROLLED A FUCKING NATURAL 6 TO KILL THE DM.
<@this1neguy> I CAN'T EVEN MAKE UP A RULE TO STOP THAT, THAT'S TOO FUCKING LUCKY.
<+MPR\splat> do I win some pancakes or something |
#309121* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<Mint-Laptop> thats what i have my boyfriend for
<MachineMuse> lol mine is a psychologist
<Mint-Laptop> heh
<Lymia> ne~?
* Lymia flips a coin between "unusually gender balanced programming channel" and "yaoi" |
#302997* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<Angel-SL> I'm bored..
<Moose> go code.
<Angel-SL> code what?
<ubiqo> code an exact replica of the female mind.
<ubiqo> here's your parameters: every method just returns a string saying "nag" or "you're not listening!"
<ubiqo> and sex(); throws an exception |
#303380* (?/40) ⚐Flag
@aLLeNz0rZ: If I come across a situation where I need it to do 1 thing
@aLLeNz0rZ: I want there to be an app for it
@Akensai: droid can play motherfucking cs 1.6
@Akensai: is there an app for that, bitch?Comment: irc.akensai.net #japs
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#304073* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<@tyler> hahaha, does anyone remember my story the other day about some dude's iTunes library on my iTunes
<@tyler> well, i logged into iTunes today
<@tyler> and there were 2 more people's
<@tyler> im like wtf
<@tyler> so i start looking at it
<@tyler> and realize i'm on my work's VPN
<@tyler> and that's how I see it
<@tyler> hahahaha
<@tyler> :|
<Dave> dumbass
<@carlos_office> hahaha
<@tyler> hopefully i wasn't sharing my porn
<@tyler> that would be embarassing
<@tyler> guess i'll find out soon enough |
#304314* (?/40) ⚐Flag
Michael: I bought an electric toothbrush
Michael: it's like a regular toothbrush except noisy, expensive and finnicky
Jax184: sounds right
Michael: good way to spend $40
Jax184: I just fellate hedgehogs
Michael: yeah I guess that's the economical option |
#304810* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<+nettocash> josh gave me a quarter once
<+nettocash> i gave him a penny 6 months before that tho
<+nettocash> 24 cent incest!
<+nettocash> interest*Comment: #iwwf on irc.i-wwf.net
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#305359* (?/40) ⚐Flag
DekuLink: Yesterday I went over to my sister's friend's house and played Katamari Domacy.
DekuLink: It was like, actually hanging out with people at someone's house.
DekuLink: Like people with friends do!
DekuLink: It was soo cool.
DekuLink: I need a life.
DekuLink: Oh look, 4chan is accepting Janitor applications.
DekuLink: Maybe I'll send an application. |
#305558* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<bad-kitty> How naughty a pic can you put up on pic paste?
<Wolfram> I can put up a pic of George W. Bush lying to America about Iraq having WMDs |
#304168* (?/58) ⚐Flag
250391: new topic: the axe effect..... is it a lie?
Scotty-V: You're female, shouldn't you be telling us?
250391: But im a girl...
Naokohiro: I'm sure every female becomes orgasmic upon walking into a boy's locker room.
Naokohiro: So much Axe in the air.
250391: HAHA! No...
Scotty-V: That's why girls aren't allowed in there.
Scotty-V: The floor gets slippery when it's wet.Comment: BYOND Pokemon
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#304924* (?/58) ⚐Flag
<Shawn|Rawr> ~8ball Are there any girls on the internet?
<purl> Negative.
<Otixa> >:|
<Shawn|Rawr> PROOF
<Otixa> He got that right
<+onetwo> wait
<+onetwo> 8ball are all the girls on facebook?
<purl> I'm not sure.
<+onetwo> okay cant confirm then
<Otixa> 8ball Are all the girls in the kitchen?
<purl> Yes.Comment: freenode #sc2mapster
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#305083* (?/58) ⚐Flag
According to my calculations, Kyle XY raised Weird Al, and Zombie Jesus raised me. |
#301274* (?/58) ⚐Flag
bengal: What did Jesus ever do for Santa Clause on HIS Birthday.
th1nker: Jesus obviously got hammered ;) |