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#303867* (?/49) ⚐Flag
<poutine> I just had a black dude get sassy with me while I was applying for my passport
<poutine> I put his ass back in place by asking for his personal info to report to the state agency
<spithash> poutine: cool story bro
<poutine> he's like, "They just had new requirements come in", I was all like, "Well, this application I just filled out says something different", so he's like, "Bitch, here's a piece of paper", and I said, "Bitch, here on this piece of paper it says I'm right", then he was like, "OIC"
<deadbum> Hi! It looks like you're blogging on IRC. Would you like to: [Add Comments] [e-Mail this to a Friend] [Digg This!] [Submit to Slashdot] [Add to del.icio.us] [Kill yourself because&#11017;nobody cares]
<Ralp> then i was like "i can't wait to get on the internet and tell people what just happened.  after reading this story, they're sure to want to be my friends"
Comment: dalnet
#304042* (?/49) ⚐Flag
Mathii: Ouch...
Mathii: Temprature
Mathii: My laptop is so screwd
Mathii: Only thing I'm running is VLC and mIRC
DoucheEnrique: no most probably you just need to clean your cooling
Mathii: You need to clean your cooling
DoucheEnrique: well fine if yout want to wreck your laptop completely
Mathii: I don't know how to do it!!!
Rianne: eh, just open your laptop at the bottom and take out the heatsink, clean it out free of dust
DoucheEnrique: take a vacuum cleaner and suck on your air vents
Rianne: really not that hard to do
DoucheEnrique: most simple thing you can do
leeter: Mathii, that means you processor is OVERHEATING
leeter: shut down VLC immediately
Mathii: I don't wanna
leeter: you are going to destroy your computer otherwise
Mathii: It's doing a good job at it
DoucheEnrique: wow
leeter: please for the sake of your computer SHUT IT DOWN
Mathii: D:
leeter: CLEAN IT and the come back
Rianne: well you gonna wear down your cpu
leeter: you are destroying your computer realtime
Mathii: It's still 99
leeter: that is danger zone
leeter: you need to shut it down
Mathii: gonna put it in mah fridge
DoucheEnrique: >.>
***leeter facepalms
leeter: Mathii, we tried...
#302112* (?/44) ⚐Flag
<TopRamen> I am a Noodle American.
<NinjaViking> wet, limp and salty?
#303633* (?/44) ⚐Flag
Liz: My friend had an afro, got burnt off though.
Jakx: I nominate that for sentence of the year, Liz.
Tickle: Did I tell you that yesterday my friend lit his cat on fire?
Jakx: Nevermind, Tickle gets it.
#305634* (?/44) ⚐Flag
<pineconedemon> I think it would be funny to walk down the street in chinatown going "chink chink chink chink chink chink chink chink chink chink" and see what happens
<download13> xD
<download13> I can totally picture some guy wandering down the road, big smile, mindlessly singing racist insults to himself completely oblivious to everyone else.
<download13> You could do that with any group with a bigoted name against them. i.e. "aids-monkey aids-monkey aids-monkey aids-monkey aids-monkey" in San Francisco.
<download13> There's only one group left to insult now:
<donwload13> cancer patients
<donwload13> I can't think of any slurs for them though. What do you call cancer patients?
<pineconedemon> skinheads?
#305675* (?/44) ⚐Flag
* ClamPie is playing *Unknown* - Young asian teen Lily Thai has squirting orgasms
< [Jake]> @_@
* [Jake] is curious if ClamPie intended for that to happen.
< ClamPie> My lawyer has suggested to me that I invoke my 5th amendment right to remain silent... ;o
< [Jake]> lol, mmk.
#306021* (?/44) ⚐Flag
<@William> Oh dear.
<@William> I think I'm in vi.
<@William> Or vim.
<@Tanaric> :q!
<@William> Ah, thank you so much.
#205784* (?/44) ⚐Flag
Dave: any idea why i might get "Access denied for user 'root'@'192.168.0.2' to database 'm_v2'" when trying to switch to that DB?
Giorgio: Are you supplying the password?
Dave: yeah
Dave: all i change is DB_NAME
Dave: it connects fine, but the select_database fails
Giorgio: Hmm
Giorgio: Show the codes?
Dave: mysql_connect(DB_ADDR.":3306", DB_USER, DB_PASS);
Dave: echo (mysql_select_db(DB_NAME)) ? "yes!" : "no :(";
Dave: echos no
Giorgio: You mean "no :("
Dave: yeah :)
Giorgio: Yeah :(
#300979* (?/27) ⚐Flag
<Grenwolth> someone I need a favor...
<Starlingrock> well you cant have one
<AlienDK> who are you to decide that?
<Starlingrock> I am the evil favor withholder
<AlienDK> oh
<savageinjun> yeeeeeeeeeeessss
<AlienDK> Sorry then
#296626* (?/26) ⚐Flag
*** Balrog_ joined
<Balrog_> hello everyone! anyone here today?
* helf slams his staff down
<helf> YOU SHALL NOT CHAAAAAAAT
<Balrog_> helf: I saw you somewhere.... maybe UG?
<helf> probably saw me SENDING YOU BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME
#296891* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<superguy199455> yeah but i dont have another computer
<superguy199455> my dad took it away
<superguy199455> i photoshopped my report card
<Randomskk> your dad could tell?
<superguy199455> well
<superguy199455> partent teacher conferences
<superguy199455> were 3 days after
#297188* (?/26) ⚐Flag
[14:10] * Tifa is away: toilet
[15:08] * Tifa is back
[15:08] <Alien> condolances for the death of your bowels.
Comment: watch timestamps.
#300109* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<FlawedParadigm> Taylor Swift should name her next CD "I'd hit that."
<Fax> "Kanye Interrups" special edition.
<FlawedParadigm> Yeah, and the front cover should be her hitting him in the face with the MTV award.
<FlawedParadigm> Just to give "I'd hit that" a double entendre.
<Fax> Track 3: "The Greatest Music Video OF ALL TIME - feat. Kanye West"
<FlawedParadigm> That'd be a great music video. Four minutes of Taylor stomping the piss out of Kanye.
<Fax> hell yes
<Fax> quote of lyrics: "If you like it then you should've put A FIST IN IT GOD DAMN IT DIE I HATE YOU"
<FlawedParadigm> Maybe have Beyonce join in and kick him in the junk a few times.
Comment: irc.gamesurge.net #giantitp
#300444* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<SpaceGeostrategy> of all the world's major messianic figures
<SpaceGeostrategy> the dislike button is probably #3 behind the mahdi and kalki
<SpaceGeostrategy> there are probably more people in favor of a dislike button than there are Jews
#300717* (?/26) ⚐Flag
[6:25pm] casylum: your eyes must've been really tierd
[6:25pm] dino: Yes, it looks to be so. But I'm here with you all now, so that's good.
[6:28pm] Anlina left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] casylum left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] aikoafriel left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] Zero left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] Kansai_sleep left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] Leo left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] molly left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] Moony[dinner] left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] Elindranyth left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] Sae left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] Trisk left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] sleepinDragon left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:28pm] jakobo left the chat room. (ocean.serenia.net raven.serenia.net)
[6:29pm] jakobo joined the chat room.
[6:41pm] dan left the chat room. (Quit: )
Comment: Horrible netsplit two minutes after commenting about how nice it is to be with friends.
#300869* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> give up
<otako> no
<otako> now i give up
<Moon_Doggy> its
<Moon_Doggy> nothing
<otako> lol
<Moon_Doggy> i dont have a pet
<Senesence> I guessed it right.
<generic> Moon_Doggy: or DO you?
<Moon_Doggy> i want a pet squirrel
<generic> i want ferret
<shortcircuit> I want a girlfriend. :)
<otako> Moon_Doggy: get a flying squirrel
<Moon_Doggy> ferrets smell funny
<generic> shortcircuit: Ferrets are excellent girlfriends.
<Moon_Doggy> shortcircuit i got one of those :P
<shortcircuit> Moon_Doggy: If I get a squirrel, will you trade?
<Moon_Doggy> hmm
<Moon_Doggy> no
<generic> :(
Comment: #anime
#308607* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<+CF> My sister is playing the female lead.
<+CF> So I need 2 guys.
<King_Rat> me and aster
<MobileAster> No.
<+CF> one of which dies in the end, the other flips his shit and leaves with all their supplies
<+CF> in the middle of the night
[23:08:38] <King_Rat> aster can die
[23:08:38] <MobileAster> King_Rat dies.
Comment: They HATE each other. Timestamps intact in the end to show how they posted at the same time.
#309071* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<crikes> cured meats are the best
<crikes> its a ring shape with string joining the two ends; i took the middle bend out and created chorizo nunchucks
#309110* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<cowbacon> op me
<forks> bring back my one true love
#302447* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<Alister> You know, you should really get second life.
<Pryoidain> mv secondlife.exe absolutely-the-fuck-not.exe
#303126* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<urbex> So I'm not entirely sure just what was going through my mind, or what drove me to do this...but I found myself putting Blue Cheese dressing on my waffles this morning
<Stormgren> do what the fuck now?
<urbex> It tastes even worse than it sounds
#304642* (?/26) ⚐Flag
[14:42:26] * TriviaHero stuffs the bomb into this1neguy's pants. The display reads [21] seconds.
<TriviaHero> Defuse the bomb by cutting the correct wire. There is one wire. It is Mauve.
<this1neguy> cutwire mauve
<TriviaHero> tic... tic... tic...
=-= YOU (this1neguy) have been booted from #triviahero by TriviaHero (snip...*BOOM!*)
#304661* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<bhaak> "On average, pages in your site take 1.5 seconds to load (updated on Nov 23, 2010). This is faster than 79% of sites."
<ais523> they don't draw the line anywhere, they measure, then work out the percentile
<bhaak> ais523: no, they really draw a line. on the image they have a line at 1.5 seconds, above it written slow, below fast
#309380* (?/66) ⚐Flag
<Don_Liger> oh shit
<Don_Liger> there's a small fire burning in my room
<Don_Liger> say something witty
<scudzey> you're a faggot
#217709* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Tinal> OH GOD
<Tinal> (Tinal@netqueen:~)$ cd .irssi/
<Tinal> -bash: cd: .irssi/: Permission denied
<Tinal> WHAT DID I DO
<FsM> GG
<Tinal> THIS IS WHY FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS CHMOD STONED
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