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#309004* (?/20) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Yamato> This guy I know(knew?) thought they were really IRC cops.
<joltz> you knew him cause he died?
<Yamato> No.
<joltz> shot by irc cop
<Yamato> Last time I talked to him was..
<Yamato> A few months ago?
<Yamato> He got married to a 19 year old who had a 4 year old kid.
<Yamato> We told him it was a bad idea, and he turned into a big bitch.
<Yamato> He's fucking sick, though.
<Yamato> Wanted pictures of our girlfriends. I responded with "This is IRC."
<joltz> blank.gif
<Yamato> I'd like a picture of your girlfriend, thank you very much! So I'll know which person to drug and bring back to my house.Comment: irc.rubbermallet.org #wtfpwnt
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#309002* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@hi117> i heard the pentium has the same energy dissapation per square inch as a nuclear bomb
<@akaseki> you insult the nuclear bomb
<@akaseki> it is much more energy efficient
<@hi117> yeah |
#309001* (?/22) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Apocalipstick> when i was younger i was masturbatng in classroom,... i didn't know it was masturbating! |
#309000* (?/18) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<maestro> I thought lavalamps were genetically engineered pets
<maestro> well for stoners |
#308997* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Sawk> cleaned my teeth with my math homework
<Sawk> feels good
<Alcaro> rofl |
#308994* (?/35) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<taktoa> so apparently there was one random block of end portal on an island on my minecraft server map
<taktoa> and somehow a couple of the users walked into it
<taktoa> luckily one of them was an op
<taktoa> so he went creative and killed the enderdragon
<Krash> that happens to me in the parking lot outside the store all the timeComment: #the_construct on TribalWar
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#308992* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Bananobot> Scene from The Hobbit: <Gandalf> Smaug could be a dangerous ally to the forces of Mordor should they rise again. <Saruman> no u toopid, tharon is ded top dwewing on da patht dummy <Galadriel> I want to fuck your hot grey wizard body. <Elrond> My hair is fabulous. |
#308982* (?/18) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Mold> Oh thats awesome, drip a little spaghettio's sauce on my counter and it dissolves the surface. and people eat this shit!
<FOLKEN> uh oh spaghetti o's |
#308979* (?/10) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Tekk_> meoblast001: I have no idea, art style doesn't seem like it's really drawn to turn you on or anything
<meoblast001> Tekk_: it doesn't
<meoblast001> but it almost feels like it's trying to
<meoblast001> even if it doesn't know it is
<meoblast001> it's like "Hey, look at these tits"
<meoblast001> "But you're a fucking squirrel!" |
#308977* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<davemchine> ah, well it was my last one. :-_)
<davemchine> :-_)
<davemchine> shit
<davemchine> :-)
<davemchine> there
<ThinkRob> Your smiley face had a stroke... |
#308975* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
*** now talking in #cisco
<envirocbr> I have fashioned the work phone to my ankle holster |
#308971* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<scoliosis> How long is it since someone scratched their balls in here?
<BigMarlin> bout 10 seec ago
<BigMarlin> actually now |
#308970* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<drline> networking is a fucking mess
<~mr_daemon> Nah it's p. simple
<~mr_daemon> As long as you understand what is going on, there's no real black christian magic
<drline> its all the acronyms i know time is saved but general info is lost
<drline> like my mom would be talking about some totally mundane clerical shit but it sounded mega technical due to acronyms
<&AforAnonymous> mr_daemon and then there was double token ring.
<drline> and i couldnt follow anything shed be saying
<&AforAnonymous> and X.25.
<~mr_daemon> I'm a network engineer, not a paleontologist |
#308968* (?/18) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<TheParatrooper> No. I'm pi*ed becau*e my key bring* up FUCKING *UPPORT INFORMATION
<MrGurns> what
<TheParatrooper> S
<TheParatrooper> GODDAMN LOWER CASE S
<TheParatrooper> I HAVE TO YELL, OTHERWISE MACROS
<MrGurns> your computer just wants you to have a lisp
<MrGurns> * is the new lispComment: Json files in lisp should be Jthon files.
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#308963* (?/34) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Mellence> hamsters are so cute
<Mellence> I have a hamster calendar
<MrGurns> um. sure.
<MrGurns> is that what you call your furry calander?
<Mellence> no
<MrGurns> damn
<MrGurns> so close
<MrGurns> someday i will learn the name of your furry calendar
<Mellence> NEVAR |
#308959* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* ilf_here eyes this post, in response to someone posting Teenage Crab Girl. "Man, crab tits. I'm starting to run out of things I can honestly say I haven't seen."
<ilf_here> It hits a little close to home.
<Reiv_> ILF: You have yet to see your mother in a porn video on the internet.
<Reiv_> Particularly the one with a cucumber and a parsnip at the same time as your father.
<Kaura> Reiv: You say this as if you've seen such a thing.
<Mahal> Oh, you know these farming families
<Mahal> They have to make their own entertainment
<ilf_here> ...
<Synfony> ...
<Synfony> AHAHAHAHA
<ilf_here> *crick *
<ilf_here> *crack*
<Synfony> oh, Mahal, i love you
<ilf_here> *CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
<wraith> It's a game for the whole family!
<Reiv_> Aaaand Mahal gets the long shot for the 3-pointer! ^.^
* ilf_here 's head cracks open like an egg, and out comes a large man, screaming in terror and naked, who dives into a convenient vat of instant death acid.Comment: #Fleet on Nightstar
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#308957* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<anon2574> How long before we are cancelling our newsprovider accounts and signing up to services like netflix and lovefilm?
<anon2186>The day after never for me |
#308956* (?/34) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> picture this if you will
<Moon_Doggy> 4 marinated strips of bacon
<Moon_Doggy> 2 scrambled egg cooked with garlic hot sauce
<Moon_Doggy> 2 hash brown patties
<Moon_Doggy> wrapped in a soft flour tortilla
<KF2M> thinking a heart attack ina burrito
<Moon_Doggy> well then KF2M, i think i just made a deadly weapon in my kitchen
<Moon_Doggy> and its delicious
<KF2M> enjoy
<Moon_Doggy> i will sir
<Moon_Doggy> i will |
#308955* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<aymbot> Fuuzetsu, what did dr-z do?
<aymbot> he's messaging me about being unsilenced or whatever
<Moon_Doggy> aymbot, my advice is /ignore dr-z
<xIsalty> I broke 2 fingers today
<xIsalty> typing is harder now
<Sean_McG> oh dear
<Moon_Doggy> aymbot, and besides he's not even +q
<aymbot> why?
<aymbot> oh?
<xIsalty> lel
<aymbot> then wtf are you talking about dr-z
<Moon_Doggy> now if dr-z was smart he would register his nick since this is a +m channel and you need to be registered to talk HINT HINT HINT
<aymbot> lol
<aymbot> wow
<aymbot> /facepalm
* Moon_Doggy sets mode -m #anime
<Moon_Doggy> dz-z say something
<dr-z> hi
* Moon_Doggy sets mode +m #anime
<aymbot> lulz
<Moon_Doggy> i didnt say simon says
<Sean_McG> LOL |
#308954* (?/25) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Meltro> I'm thinking throw an egg or two in a shallow bowl. Add a little milk, pepper, and salt. Scramble. Microwave until center rises. At the same time prepare toast. As you remove the egg, heat meat of choice (ham, bacon, salami) in microwave. Butter toast. Place egg, heated meat, and cheese on toast. Enjoy.
<Meltro> The Breakfast Sandwich™. Because it's always breakfast somewhere. |
#308951* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Lobotomy> but the idea of an erotic novel coming from you perfectly seats my jimmies
<Gambit> you just like
<Gambit> finger chicks
<Gambit> and that's a handjob
<Lobotomy> the thought of a ho hum, boring-as-fuck erotic novel by someone who just doesn't fucking care
<Lobotomy> is probably the best thing ever
<Lobotomy> like, sex happens, but it's just really pitiful and thoughtless, one of them checks their facebook or does taxes mid-fuck
<Lobotomy> "...as she slowly unbuttoned his grey, embroidered polo, he let out an exasperated sigh and moaned, "not tonight, honey, I have a headache""
<Lobotomy> THE END |
#308947* (?/25) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<everyone> so. surface pro. $900 and $1000 for 32/64GB. 5 hour battery life. keyboard cover not included
<everyone> nice knowing you apple but the ipad is dead now
<Twigathy> ....derp
<everyone> oh and 5 hours is the optimistic estimate |
#308946* (?/43) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<CS> also "tongue punch your fart box" is one of my favorite phrases ever |
#308943* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<ArchWizard> A power failure in my neighborhood
<ArchWizard> I was editing a video and then everything suddenly went dark
<ArchWizard> Then I thought, "man, I wish I could masturbate to pornography right now."
<ArchWizard> But there was no pornography and no light by which to see pornography, so I had to do without
<ArchWizard> I mean I didn't masturbate, not that I masturbated without porn
<ndy> dude
<ndy> thats one of those inalienable rights you americans like to refer to isnt it |
#308941* (?/40) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<BunneH> i've been hungry all day
<BunneH> and eating all day
<Taerom> your tapeworm has tapeworms
<BunneH> yay!
<BunneH> MULTI WORM |
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