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#308940* (?/34) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Gobiner> I just realized queer and queen are almost identical words and they're both slang for a homosexual
<Gobiner> god hates quee*s |
#308939* (?/18) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<nukke2> loooooool
<nukke2> ok so this girl comes over to my house like 30min ago
<nukke2> she's freaking out because her friend, one of my roomies, couldn't help her and told her to come ask me
<nukke2> apparently her shower handles broke and the water won't stop running
<ePi`Killerhands> lol
<ePi`Killerhands> nukke2 to the resuce!
<nukke2> so she comes over, picks me up, takes me to her house and i honestly have no fucking idea what to do
<nukke2> wait wait
<nukke2> dude
<nukke2> WAIT
<nukke2> ok
<nukke2> so we get there and she's like, "ok i have no idea what to do please help"
<nukke2> i get inside, see that the shower is running and attempt to fix it
<nukke2> shower's at full power. i take off my shoes and shirt and get inside
<nukke2> (no joke)
<nukke2> i move the handles and it won't work. it seems like the paste that like, sticks the plastic to the metal thingies to turn it off has worn off, i've no idesa
<nukke2> so she's like "ok let's go outside, maybe there's a switch or somethinmg"
<nukke2> i'm dripping wet and put on my shirt and shoes and we head outside
<nukke2> she's like, "i'll stay up here and tell you if it's stopped running"
<nukke2> i go down and start opening those things on the sidewalk
<nukke2> one of them, it seems, was kinda tied to the valve and i fucking broke it
<nukke2> now there's a fucking fountain in the midde of the sidewalk
<nukke2> i'm freaking out
<nukke2> she hasn't noticed nbecause she's upstairs
<HappyMan> i think i speak for everybody here when i say
<HappyMan> "lol"
<nukke2> NO
<nukke2> okokokok
<nukke2> so ok
<nukke2> UDUDE
<nukke2> ok
<ePi`Killerhands> this sounds like a really bad porno
<nukke2> so she comes running down the stairs and asks me what happened
<nukke2> i am a shitty plumber :(
<ePi`Killerhands> lol
<nukke2> i tell her i've no idea and THEN the appartments owner arrives, right?
<nukke2> fucking 2012 car and shit
<nukke2> he's like "Wtf"
<nukke2> i tell him that i just go there and the girl nods
<nukke2> so i uncover one of the other thingies on the sidewalk, one marked with her apt no and turn off the valve
<nukke2> finally her shower stops running
<nukke2> so the owner calls the city's water dpt and they tell him that they'll be there in 1-3 days
<nukke2> :| |
#308938* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<kwantzaa>: guys can we give up on the holiday nicknames after xmas because I don't think I can bear to see a bunch of fuckin, what, Valentine's Day nicks?
*** reindeerbollocks is now known as chocobollocks
*** sixgun_strumpet is now known as saint_sixgun
*** Insane_Totoro is now known as BlackHistoryMonthTotoro
*** chocobollocks is now known as MartinLutherBollocksJr
<kwantzaa>: goddamnit
*** kwantzaa is now known as kwantam_steakandblowjobs |
#308937* (?/39) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<LimeGreen> You're amazing.
<MrGurns> /poke
<LimeGreen> /tickle
<MrGurns> /punch
<MrGurns> /apologize
<MrGurns> /cry
<MrGurns> /leave |
#308936* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Merovoth> Some of these arch users have psychological problems. |
#308935* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@grindking> there are no good fps's anymore to compete in like doom or quake
<@grindking> now my fps is ircComment: EFNet/#android
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#308934* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<crutt> uid0 hi
<crutt> I'm ircing you from the toilet
<uid0> crutt are you poopin
<crutt> ya I'm pooping |
#308921* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<graphitemaster> we need to rename some things.
<graphitemaster> test -> tst
<graphitemaster> I hate long names :P
<Blub\w> there's something seriously wrong with you :P
<q66> short names are awesome, rust devs got it too
<graphitemaster> some people just do stupid shortening though
<graphitemaster> please see creat() and tempnam()
<Blub\w> like test->tst
<graphitemaster> what the fuck is wrong with "e"
<Blub\w> YES
<Blub\w> what the fuck is wrong with "e" :P
<graphitemaster> oh touche()
<Blub\w> muhahahaha
<graphitemaster> or should I say, touch() |
#308917* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Zylum> I will become quite famous when I create a helpdesk script that responds to every question with, "I don't know, just google it." |
#308914* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<MrGurns> <body> where should i hide the body? </body> <footer> Nevermind </footer> |
#308907* (?/9) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<ommand> [pasted google search result link excluded]
<Ommand> those are all me
<Ommand> except the ones where dudes are sucking cock, what the fuck google
<Ommand> I search "tall white dude" and end up with half the results being faggots
<Frag-ile> your search result is based on previously favoured results you've visited.
<Ommand> uh huh
<Frag-ile> and other data mined from your browsing habits.
<Dems> and faggots
<Tyrvoth> frag-ile's right. google works by associative preferences. so if you visit one site or one type of site more than another, it records your browsing habits and displays content that's more suitable to what you'd normally show interest inComment: #griefplay@griefplay.net
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#308904* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Tetsuro> I want to see some kind of rap concert with several bands attending
<Tetsuro> and it will be ravaged by fires, murder and rape
<Tetsuro> And the concert will be called
<Tetsuro> "Maximum Yolocaust"Comment: #lulz
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#308903* (?/43) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Syk> so many lols were had
<@Syk> fff wrong window
<auREAX> it's okay
<auREAX> you can have lols here as wellComment: #code, irc.nightstar.net
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#308902* (?/8) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<dangermat> I was on the toilet and a fucking christmas beetle flies in and starts trying to attack the lightbulb as if it's a death star and the beetle is a rebel fighter or some shit |
#308901* (?/40) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<ron_> I may be vile and pernicious but you can't look away, I make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say. I'm the best you can get, have you guessed me yet? ...
<xiphmont> a spear with a nun through its head |
#308899* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Aesthetics> I do have to go to the bathroom
<Aesthetics> And there are multiple Toxin General level people
<Aesthetics> One of which just recently graced the bowl with his bowel
<Aesthetics> I'm trying to give it time
<Aesthetics> But my hold it threshold is being tested
<Aesthetics> And I think I explained how there's a fabreeze air spray thing in there
<Aesthetics> But it's vanilla
<Aesthetics> Jesus christ is that the worst
<Rienholt> I find cinnamon apple is the best fragrance for covering up the smell of poop.
<Aesthetics> I find no smell that corresponds to something edible to be suitable for covering up dookie
<Aesthetics> Because then you'll get those days where the pestilence is too much
<Aesthetics> And then it breaks the fragrance. It breaks it in twain.
<Aesthetics> And forever your memory is pierced, calling on the smell of cinnamon apple with a spike of chapped asshole. |
#308897* (?/42) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<canthus13> black guy a couple of seats down is apparently talking to a woman named 'Massa'.. he said 'Yes, Massa' and I nearly fell out of my seat. |
#308896* (?/6) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Sebas> Holy shit.
<Sebas> The girlfriend's boss forgot to change the "THIS WEEK'S SALE" banners
<Sebas> So all the WWII books were proclaimed to be about "Cooking"
<Erasmus> Hahaha
<Sebas> I REALLY hope there wasn't too much about concentration camps in there. |
#308893* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* TestDummy idly stares at Aethis. o_o
<TestDummy> Aethis: Send me money. I'm a banner peering into your very soul.
<Aethis> Ha.
* TestDummy continues to stare. o_o
* Aethis gets naked.
<TestDummy> I'll just pretend you clicked the X in the corner.
* TestDummy vanishes.
<Aethis> :< |
#308888* (?/13) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Yahoozy> Okay, so she opens a can of Spaghetti-Os, then pisses, and it happens to look like piss and Spaghetti-Os, but it's probably just piss.
<oughts> It doesn't look like piss and it can't be piss and Spaghetti-Os because that's not how the urethra works.
<Yahoozy> Dude, there's Spaghetti-O not just in her vagina, but all over her vulva and hands. That's completely a piddle of piss-Boyardee amalgam trickling to the floor.
<oughts> It can't be all over her vulva.
<oughts> It's on her hands, presumably.
<oughts> She cuts an opening into her jeans and fingers something.
<Yahoozy> ...
<oughts> There's little opportunity for spaghetti transfer.
<Yahoozy> If these Boyardee hands are going into vagina, it's inevitably going to get onto vulva.
<Yahoozy> Look how hard she's working this shit.
<oughts> I closed the thing, but I'm pretty sure it's just two fingers.
<Yahoozy> Yeah, two fingers doing a full excavation.
<xwdOnCampus> I came into this channel at the wrong time. |
#308883* (?/43) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> Welp the elastic on my briefs officially annoyed me. it is now in strips all over the room. Please fly me to england and point me at your two ex friends
<Pryoidain> I would like to see them cope with a naked enraged 47 hour code editing pryoidain who is getting IO errors on a forked pipe
<Pryoidain> There wont be anything left I promise |
#308879* (?/31) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Loweko> Gak is either a sticky, unpleasantly goopy liquid; a small overly-friendly species of exotic rodent related to the Alot, or some form of fine wine.
<Loweko> Garcon! A class of your finest White Gak.
<wraith> An order I would not care to risk to interpretation. |
#308873* (?/44) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<MrGurns> *Mellence* kept hearing me say 'sexual innuendo' as 'sexual nintendo' last night.
<MrGurns> Although, now that I think about it, there really isn't any difference as a nerd though... |
#308864* (?/25) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
-*- streaky dies
-*- bqscott waits for the funeral invitation
<jonathan> will there be refreshments served?
<itdock> do i get an inheritance?
<bqscott> do I have to bring a gift? |
#308862* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Mellence> POWER TOME
<MrGurns> POWER TOME!
<MrGurns> i added an exclamation point to make my statement more powerful.
<Mellence> Mine is so powerful if I add an exclamation point, the world might implode |
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