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#308599* (?/24) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Vindictive: i'd be a wonderful ambassador
Vindictive: sadly
Vindictive: or a politician, i've always wanted to run for an office
Vindictive: :D
ag4lugy4: dude I'd move just to register to vote for you
Vindictive: i'll be mayor of Texas
ag4lugy4: I enjoy chaos
Vindictive: screw the governer, that b!tch answers to me
ag4lugy4: law #1: Fat people may only travel to places by hopping on one leg- no cars or public transit
Vindictive: and if you have to buy two seats on an airplane, you're shot on site
Vindictive: and fed to the poor because I am a kind Mayor |
#308594* (?/39) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Nanobot> I'm not a "loli guy"
<Nanobot> I love women of all kinds
<Nanobot> Even some male kinds
<Nanobot> But only if they look like girls |
#308593* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Hexi> the Brits probably call echolocation something like "shoveling"
Hexi> Deep in the ocean where there is no light, Dolphins don't have torches so they can't see where they're going with their eyes. Instead they use a technique called shoveling where they make a sound that sends a shovel that bounces off of objects to let them know how close that object is. This was discovered by some bloke who liked dolphins. The End.
Hexi> Fucking Brits....
Hexi> ooops I fucked it up
Hexi> I still sounded too American at the end
Hexi> revision: This was discovered by some bloke who fancies dolphins. The End.
CrazyLion> Fancied. Bugger got shovelled to death.
Hexi> how can you get echolocated to death?
CrazyLion> You yanks won't understand
ChoHag> Dolphins?Comment: Note: CrazyLion and ChoHag live in England
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#308587* (?/24) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* Firasia is a bitch.
<~Fae`liin_M`taali> I'm an asshole.
<~Fae`liin_M`taali> We should be a team.
<+Sakkin> the basshlitch
<%Vice||Stuff> I do decalre that Sakkin is not allowed to name things. Ever.
<+Carusio_MystWolf> The Bassalich ... Undead king of WUBS
<+Begemot> The ritual to summon him isn't so much dark and evil as REALLY annoying.
<+Tamber> And involves recording the sound of feeding babies and plywood through a table-saw?
<+Carusio_MystWolf> 3 times per day, the bassalich can Drop the Bass... all targets within range are forced to to drop everything they are doing and cover their ears
<+Carusio_MystWolf> Drop The Bass can be counter-songed by a bardComment: #halcyon Fuzzi.es
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#308586* (?/36) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Daniel> I was talking to my mom about the Linux kernel and she made a joke about chicken. |
#308585* (?/41) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Proletariat Amber Vocabulary: Is the French Revolution over yet? I kinda miss being a princess.
Aurora: I don't know, is it?
Aurora: I've been hiding
The Queen entered chat.
The Queen: oh hai
Aurora: Whoa
Aurora: It's over
Proletariat Amber Vocabulary: According to Wikipedia, it ended in 1799. So I guess it's okay to come out now.
The Queen: what?
Proletariat Amber Vocabulary takes off her dirty commoner costume
Proletariat Amber Vocabulary has changed their name to Princess Amber Vocabulary.
Princess Amber Vocabulary: We were in hiding, because it was the French Revolution.
Princess Amber Vocabulary: But you're here, so apparently it's over now.
Aurora: The timing......was perfect |
#308584* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<+fuzzydane> I spotted a free tv once, some dudes roommate had paused gay porn on it during a two week vacation |
#308583* (?/17) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
cuthbert: the netbook must live again
cuthbert: i mean it was damn near free off my brother
cuthbert: thats kind of why its so sweet
cuthbert: :d
lucifersam: hmm
lucifersam: screws and parts splayed out all over the desk
lucifersam: hunched over all day messing with bonding agents
lucifersam: how was the speed, cuthbert? |
#308581* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Justin> most people don't have porn star dicks.. in real life anyway, everyone on the internet does howeverComment: #iwwf on irc.i-wwf.net
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#308576* (?/31) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<TheRein> the doctor told me the most accurate way to take my son's temperature is rectal insertion of the thermometer
<TheRein> but I'm scared he'll like it and eventually become the next goatseComment: #teen-talk
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#308575* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<kw> I feel like people with a dirty mind should come up with a salute so we can identify each other.. I propose an outstretched hand with only the ring finger and thumb folded
<AndrewBC> or you could just always tell dirty jokes
<AndrewBC> and the devil take the prudemost
<kw> oh I always do that anyway
<AndrewBC> WELL THERE YOU GO
<kw> I prefer to hit on girls who have a dirty mind too though
<kw> this will help identify them
<Superpig> kw: that's no good, because people who aren't dirty won't be able to interpret it as a normal handshake
<Superpig> you need something that is obvious to those who know it, but innocent to those who don't
<April> that's discrimination against fingerless dirty minded people
<April> I would have to start the anti-discrimination against fingerless dirty minded people alliance
<Superpig> April: you'll need a better acronym than ADAFDMPA
<Superpig> at the very least it needs to be, like... Quest for Unveiling Erotically Enthusiastic Fellows
<Superpig> or something
<Superpig> British Randythinkers Anonymous
<Superpig> People Against Never Talking Intimacy, Erotica, and Sex
<kw> well, that's a Fine Acronym, Piggy :)Comment: #gamedev on AfterNET
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#308574* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<cyb3rm00se> Dude what
<cyb3rm00se> I have no idea what's going on right now
<cyb3rm00se> I started speaking random Germanic gibberish and suddenly
airships |
#308573* (?/22) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< Tukotih> inb4 Swanson gets hit by a terrorist attack
* Tukotih is not suspecting xx
< xx> wut
* Tukotih is suspecting xx |
#308571* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Finalflash50> He sucks
<Finalflash50> Merbo: I tell him to change his nick back to normal when it is some stupid shit
<Finalflash50> Wanna know his response?
<Finalflash50> 'lol Hi finalflash50'
<Catelite> Hii |
#308570* (?/18) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<stiva> JWhy: You're all set.
<JWhy> Thanks a lot, your service is great.
<stiva> Glad to hear it!
<stiva> Is there anything else we can help you with?
<JWhy> No, I just needed to find out how to quit from a channel with a bouncer... got it now ;)
* JWhy has left #dragonweyr
<TestDummy> WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU |
#308565* (?/37) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
MachinaeWolf has quit [Quit: "Come with me and you will see our future in debris, first the sun and now the stars are fading..."]
<aladdinp> there are some seriously angsty channel exit messages out there
ElricStorm has quit [Quit: In the end we're just chalk lines on concrete...]
savior has left #crunchbang ["BLACK LIKE MY SOUL HOW CAN YOU DIE, IF YOUR ALREDY DEAD INSIDE, SHARE ON FACEBOOK IF U CRY EVERY TYME"]Comment: Removed timestamp and netmask cruft
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#308563* (?/37) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< Ferus> savior: stop drilling me
< savior> im not drilling you
< savior> but i could nail you
< savior> :3
< ElricStorm> lawl
< Ferus> hot
< savior> you up for that kinda thing, baby?
< ElricStorm> apparently I came back at just the right time
< Ferus> I'd nail jesus if ya know what i mean
< aladdinp> i'm putting on my wizard hat |
#308559* (?/14) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<falconindy> this is so awful i think you gave me cancer. |
#308558* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<falconindy> when a man loves a bitwise operator... |
#308557* (?/45) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<falconindy> uggh. single threaded builds... i can't fap to this! |
#308555* (?/34) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<fulltang> that's why I use a eunuchs-based OS. balls are bloat |
#308551* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Sho_> i actually contemplated getting a new cat before things evolved between the former miss itscomplicated and me
<Sho_> but now i would suck for the cat
<tdfischer> you would what
<Adityab> Sho_: You mean you would perform fellatio to get pussy?
<Sho_> err |
#308548* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* hobbs books a hotel room and gives zfsonlinux a spin
<Celti> You need a hotel room for that? What, is ZFS cheating on BSD with Linux or something?
<hobbs> yes, that's exactly it.
<TmbrWolf> it's not cheating if it's an open relationship |
#308547* (?/21) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Syntactics: i try to avoid hating large groups of people
Syntactics: i refer to the group of people i hate
Syntactics: as
Syntactics: "the people i hate "
Syntactics: i am racist to people i hate
Syntactics: it consists of
Syntactics: people that i hate
elazar55: Ah
elazar55: Yes
elazar55: A new race is born
Syntactics: yes
elazar55: PeopleSynHatesEes
Syntactics: they wont have rights
Syntactics: becuase they dont deserve them |
#308546* (?/13) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<gunning4u> hahaha
<gunning4u> will be worse when we have kids.
<jenn> ew
<gunning4u> you're supposed to humour me
<gunning4u> not dismiss it :(
<jenn> you have to do everything for a baby
<jenn> no way
<gunning4u> gives you an excuse to stay off work for a year!
<jenn> yes this is true
<jenn> and get load of money from the government
<gunning4u> and it gets me two weeks off, too
<gunning4u> so do it
<Militant> just keep having kids until you can't
<jenn> can we pretend to have a baby
<Militant> then have a 'tragic accident'
<gunning4u> lmao
<gunning4u> i wonder if you could realistically do that
<jenn> i'll fake pregnancy
<gunning4u> have a child every year for say 20 years
<gunning4u> and claim the maternity leave
<Militant> only with the most careful planning
<Militant> oh
<Militant> you mean without the homicide portion
<jenn> LOL
<gunning4u> lmao |
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