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#308386* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
P00PL0RD I could go for a good output
P00PL0RD make an offsite backup of my lunch
P00PL0RD that compression is a bitch
#308385* (?/24) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* %tico uses genitalia on nimper
<+nimper> it's super effective ;)
#308384* (?/41) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<TheJayson> dude, this fucking carpet has more stains on it than a hookers bedroom floor
<JakeSays> TheJayson: thats what you get for having a drippy dick
<Scott`> oh snap
<TheJayson> are you fucking serious?
#308378* (?/21) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< MisterX> I bought a 3DO.
< MisterX> Goldstar variety.
< sney_> gonna play need for speed
< sney_> and
< sney_> need for speed
< MisterX> Yes, I have NEED FOR SPEED
< r4v5> and alone in the dark?
< MisterX> Pfft no
< MisterX> Just NFS and.....
< MisterX> uhhh
#308377* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< CoJaBo> .g cojabo
< jenni> CoJaBo: hxxp://archive.org/iathreads/forum-display.php?poster=CoJaBo
< CoJaBo> fail
< CoJaBo> wow. one reply to my thread on the destruction of the entire fricking internet archive
< CoJaBo> .g cojabo -archive
< jenni> CoJaBo: hxxps://github.com/CoJaBo
< CoJaBo> ..I have an account on github? wat.
< CoJaBo> .g cojabo SOMETHING COOL
< jenni> CoJaBo: hxxp://bash.org/?browse&p=414
< CoJaBo> oh ffs.
#308376* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< jjs999jjs> fuckme adele is preggers
< CoJaBo> Will she give birth to agateway? :P
#308372* (?/35) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Neuro well
Neuro we couldn't deny it forever
Neuro obama is the antichrist
Neuro i mean
Neuro helping pooir people to not die from sickness and stay healthy
Neuro must be satan's work
Neuro mustn't it?
Neuro a truly good eprosn
Neuro would jsut let poor people die
Neuro it is MERCY
Neuro a poor life is no life at all
Comment: in a discussion about obamacare
#308370* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<forgotten> how old are u Lefty ?
<Lefty> forgotten: >30
* forgotten_ sets keepalive setting on Lefty
<Lefty> haha
Comment: #devious on freenode
#308369* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
&#8206;<@InfiniteStryker0> like they hammered this into us, if we ever had any kind of dr/pt relationship with anyone for any length of time they're totally off-limits
<@InfiniteStryker0> doesn't matter if you saw them in the ER for 1 hour and they slip you a phone number (actual scenario presented to us)
<@WorstQEvr> i just met you, you treated my rabies, and here's my number, so call me maybe
#308368* (?/34) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Sarig: Good evening
Sarig: mortals.
Z`: good evening
Z`: Thor.
Poper: fukka!
CaleQualme: hihi
Sarig changes nick to Thorfukkahihi
Comment: Sarig is norse.
#308367* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Sebas> Urgh.
<@Sebas> Religious charities depress me.
<@Sebas> You'd think as a species we'd've evolved beyond the need for a celestial beard to make us be nice by now.
#308364* (?/37) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
[11:50 PM] turbo_dr3ams : gather around child
[11:50 PM] turbo_dr3ams : story time
[11:51 PM] turbo_dr3ams : so i took Paula out to Cheesecake factory, then she bought me ice icream....
[11:51 PM] turbo_dr3ams : was walking her home and it hit me so hard
[11:51 PM] turbo_dr3ams : i had to shit so bad
[11:51 PM] turbo_dr3ams : it was painful
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : saw this community center with a bunch of people inside so i ran in there and i guess they were teaching some dance class
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : ran through the dance floor to the bathroom
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : and painted the toilet....
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : fucked it up hard...
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : wipe like 5 times
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : came out and continue walking
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : get to her house...
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : bout to say bye n' stuff
[11:52 PM] turbo_dr3ams : and i have to shit again!
[11:53 PM] turbo_dr3ams : so im sweating my ass off again, hug her and pce out...
[11:53 PM] turbo_dr3ams : im walking and i have to shit so bad
[11:53 PM] turbo_dr3ams : i'm in a residential area, no stores around and i can barely walk i have to shit to bad...
[11:54 PM] turbo_dr3ams : then, suddenly, around the corner of this one block, i see a house being remodeled and a port-a-jon standing in the friend yard
[11:55 PM] turbo_dr3ams : i jump the fence, damn near shitting myself, swing the door open, not giving a fuck if anyone is home, drop trousers and blew my ass the fuck out....
[11:55 PM] turbo_dr3ams : i started shitting before i could get my ass down and got some on the seat and on my ass once i got on the seat
[11:56 PM] turbo_dr3ams : i shat so hard
[11:56 PM] turbo_dr3ams : thank god they had toilet paper. i had to wipe all the shit off my ass
[11:56 PM] turbo_dr3ams : and thats how my fucking date went
#308361* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Jeck> That's pretty much the opposite of my opinion. There's a time and a place for drugs, but a situation where you might die if you're not smart/careful enough is not one.
<Jeck> I might be biased, too. The time I had pot I had such an extreme reaction I hallucinated choirs of angels singing death metal while I shivered and threw up on a bathroom floor.
#308357* (?/24) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<bacon> Katana, you can't quote your own qdb submissions!
<Katana> bacon: yes i can
<Katana> bacon: quoteception
#308356* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Lord> What are you guys up to
<Broast> Fucking a cantaloupe, you?
<Lord> fucking a watermelon
<Stars> sounds like fun
<Lord> It is but makes it hard to type
<Broast> Smells better than pussy too and you can slap it and it won't press charges.
<Lord> plus you have a snack afterwards
#308355* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> A very long time ago I was a naive little nerd, and I maintained that (i.e. if a library was updated to remove old functionality) if a developer wrote new code to re-enable the old code instead of just modifying the old code, that they were idiots.
<Pryoidain> Currently I maintain that Library developers are cruel sadistic bastards who are taking away the only bit of code that worked out of 300 revisions
<Pryoidain> And i'll be DAMNED if I let them take that from me.
* Pryoidain fumes.
#308354* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Wensley> butts don't usually produce slickening substances
<hguhgu> I should probably see a doctor, then.
#308352* (?/21) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<%Jan> You guys know that comic from xkcd about the guy who got a blocky image fetish because of how slow dialup is?
<%Jan> And you know firefox's bug with bicubic filtering; how larger images have pixely lines/curves?
<%Jan> Well...
Comment: Here's the mentioned comic: https://xkcd.com/598/
#308351* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
(04:59:29) Ice: nothing makes me feel as gay as creative writing
(04:59:41) Ice: i feel like there's a huge pink dick up my ass this very moment
(04:59:42) misterj: yeah, same, haha
(04:59:45) misterj: er
(04:59:47) misterj: except the dick part
#308350* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
sandwich: i had sex with him
kitty: was this before or after cookies
sandwich: LOL after
kitty: did you barf on his dick
sandwich: NO
sandwich: NO I DIDNT
kitty: oh ok
sandwich: ive done that before though
kitty: WAIT
kitty: WAIT
kitty: BACK UP THE TRAIN
#308348* (?/35) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Zylum> what do you call a large group of people who are simultaneously sneezing and shitting at the same time?
<Zylum> Mass achu shits.
#308347* (?/44) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Bananobot> I went to Japan to buy a loli from a vending machine, but when I punched in my selection, the loli got stuck. I tried shaking it and kicking it, but she wouldn't come out. Then I realized the vending machine was a car.
#308341* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* Moon_Dog3VO sips his wine
* SgtSlaughter drinks his bourbon
* blackroseMD1 drains his beer and throws the bottle at someone
#308339* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Nanobot> I have a fear of cars. Last time I was in one, it transformed into a giant robot and I had to save the world from a giant alien girl. I tried to convince her that she was too sexy to throw her life away, but she wouldn't listen, so I had to vaporize her. Fucking cars.
#308338* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<+TMartin> You got the herp lol
<+klept0> oh nohz burn it with fire!
<+TMartin> I'm sure it already burns
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